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Original poster

Did I just hear Sunak promise to investigate inappropriate and unsafe sex education in school?

605 replies

Nimbostratus100 · 08/03/2023 12:20

Did I just hear Sunak promise to investigate inappropriate and unsafe sex education in school?

I don't really listen to priminister questions, but I was just channel hopping waiting for the kettle to boil

So IABU to dance a little dance?

YABU - no you misheard, he didn't say that/ he said it but it is meaningless

YANBU - yes you heard it, yes it means something, dance away

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 08/03/2023 14:40

ExtraOnions · 08/03/2023 14:13

Who here, has had a child who has been taught some of this (more disturbing) stuff in school. I see a lot of Daily Mail headlines, but not much to back it up.

Warwickshire council produced a programme and glossary of terms about 4 years ago. Here is the thread entitled ‘Anal sex for 13 year olds’. The complete website with full glossary of terms has been deleted and it was abhorrent and included iirc terms like fisting and several, which I had to look up.

This was planned to be rolled out to all schools in Warwickshire until uncovered after which there was a massive backlash. The public and press have safeguarded children in a few examples so I’d say had this not happened, the number of children exposed to this type of ‘sex ed’ would be a lot higher.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3701564-Anal-sex-for-13-year-olds-Warwickshire-again?page=1

Original poster
Nimbostratus100 · 08/03/2023 14:43

ZeldaB · 08/03/2023 14:05

In the last few years children have been taught in school lessons that anal sex is a way to avoid pregnancy (but teachers are not allowed to discuss the physical injuries it can cause the recipient, because that could be perceived as homophobia.) Doctors are now reporting a huge rise in teenage girls with serious anal injuries caused by ‘sex’.

Children have been taught that if they are sporty girls who like trousers, or gentle boys who like sparkle, then they have been born in the wrong body and should consider drugs and sterilising surgery.

Children have been referred for ‘support’ to websites that discuss choking, caging and gagging as healthy forms of sexual expression. Boys whose teenage girlfriends don’t ‘scream loudly enough’ during sex have asked if they should introduce choking.

If your friends had been taught all this at school, it would have made them more likely to suffer abuse, not less. Your ignorance on this topic is startling.

And calling women “pearl-clutchers” for discussing one of the most topical issues of 2023, that may well decide the next election, is misogynistic and patronising as hell. If you don’t think women are entitled to opinions, then perhaps Mumsnet is not the place for you.

I agree with most of your post, but not the first point, in my opinion.

I taught in a school where teenage Muslim girls were agreeing to anal sex because they had been told ( mostly by teenage Muslim boys) that this preserved their virginity.

and lots were left permanently damaged

As teachers, we had to teach the dangers of anal sex, there was no concern that this could be homophobic, or anything like this, it was to warn girls of potential injuries they might suffer - and to help keep them safe

OP posts:
Sillykillbill · 08/03/2023 14:46

Probably. Ramping up the culture war and immigration in time to win the next election.

7Worfs · 08/03/2023 14:46

lifeturnsonadime · 08/03/2023 14:40

Beyond being taught about puberty, the act of sex, sexuality, contraception, pregnancy/STD risks and having appropriate boundaries / consent what further role should the state have when it comes to sex ed?

Teaching gender ideology, kink and QT is over reach.

And if that makes me a pearl clutcher so be it.

This.
Until the horse-brushing third party orgs have been purged from schools I won’t be sending my children in on days they have RSE.

Sillykillbill · 08/03/2023 14:50

@Mummyoflittledragon is that Warwickshire county council with a huge tory
majority ? So much for protecting our girls and being on the right side of history.

glasshole · 08/03/2023 14:50

My daughter is almost fifteen and kicked up merry hell in her pshe type class. Why, I hear you all ask?

Because the models on the page showed a a man with testicles and a penis and a woman with breasts and a vagina. Then close up diagrams. Female anus, vagina vulva , pubis etc. They talked about types of sex. (All led by the teacher and the "kit".). Vaginal, Anal, oral. Breath play (?!). Choking. Even face spitting 🤮. Then the word boundaries was briefly mentioned. Then my daughter put her hand up and asked why after all this discussion going on 40 minutes, hasn't the woman's clitoris been mentioned once? It wasn't in the diagram, all of the " types " of sex were from /aimed at porn soaked wet dreams of teenage boys.

She was sent out for being a trouble causer. That was a fun week.

It's ABSOLUTELY about time this was taken care of.

Astralitzia · 08/03/2023 14:52

We were definitely told that anal sex existed and that it was very unlikely to result in pregnancy when I was a teenager (back in the 1990s). I remember a small section on ways to avoid pregnancy in sex, which covered contraception and non-PIV sex acts like anal sex. As I recall we mostly just sniggered or cringed all the way through. I don't think any of us were rushing off to try it out after class.

I would be very interested to see solid proof of some of these claims like "children are being taught how to choke each other", and what is being defined as "graphic detail" here.

Saying "anal sex is when a man puts his penis into the anus of a receiving partner." could be construed as graphic detail. But that seems fairly bare bones and factual to me.

lifeturnsonadime · 08/03/2023 14:53

Sillykillbill · 08/03/2023 14:50

@Mummyoflittledragon is that Warwickshire county council with a huge tory
majority ? So much for protecting our girls and being on the right side of history.

Why are you politicising this?

I'm glad that the Prime Minister is investigating this.

Nothing to do with the fact he's a Tory but because it needs addressing.

glasshole · 08/03/2023 14:55

Astralitzia · 08/03/2023 14:52

We were definitely told that anal sex existed and that it was very unlikely to result in pregnancy when I was a teenager (back in the 1990s). I remember a small section on ways to avoid pregnancy in sex, which covered contraception and non-PIV sex acts like anal sex. As I recall we mostly just sniggered or cringed all the way through. I don't think any of us were rushing off to try it out after class.

I would be very interested to see solid proof of some of these claims like "children are being taught how to choke each other", and what is being defined as "graphic detail" here.

Saying "anal sex is when a man puts his penis into the anus of a receiving partner." could be construed as graphic detail. But that seems fairly bare bones and factual to me.

In my daughters class they weren't given "instruction" on Breath play but were told it, like everything else mentioned, is perfectly NORMAL. They are NORMALISING an extreme sexual fish and teenage girls are paying the price. Did you hear about the 16 yo who needed a colostomy bag fitted after having an snack sex party with a bunch of boys a didn't even use lube?

My daughter and her friends do NOT want to be with boys that think it's ok to choke them, slap them or sit in their face. But they and the boots are being told uses normal and they need to be re educated as it's FIIIIIIINE.

lifeturnsonadime · 08/03/2023 14:57

glasshole · 08/03/2023 14:55

In my daughters class they weren't given "instruction" on Breath play but were told it, like everything else mentioned, is perfectly NORMAL. They are NORMALISING an extreme sexual fish and teenage girls are paying the price. Did you hear about the 16 yo who needed a colostomy bag fitted after having an snack sex party with a bunch of boys a didn't even use lube?

My daughter and her friends do NOT want to be with boys that think it's ok to choke them, slap them or sit in their face. But they and the boots are being told uses normal and they need to be re educated as it's FIIIIIIINE.

Show quote history

Absolutely shocking.

twelly · 08/03/2023 15:03

I hope that there is review as I think the latest reports regarding what has been taught or where guest speakers have attended is appalling. I would like to see much clearer guidelines that stops the current trends, I accept that some of the sex education which will be permitted will be more that I personally would like but I think the current situation is not only permissive but is giving inaccurate inflation (73 not 2) and providing children with non-age approbate information.

Astralitzia · 08/03/2023 15:04

Did you hear about the 16 yo who needed a colostomy bag fitted after having an snack sex party with a bunch of boys a didn't even use lube?

No, I didn't. But once again, no solid evidence for this is being presented. Might you have a link?

This also sounds like a gang rape rather than an "anal sex party", which I'm not sure has anything to do with telling teenagers that anal sex is a thing as part of sex education.

If you want to know where the normalisation of extreme sex acts is coming from, you need to look at the increase of extreme porn online which can be accessed by anyone with no real age checks. Not schools.

IneedanewTV · 08/03/2023 15:10

Dibbydoos · 08/03/2023 14:34

What improper sex Ed? Telling kids that they are more than two sexes? That families can be made up of one or more genders? People can call themselves he she or them?

What is improper?

My son at school was told there are 94 genders. Just what does that mean?

During pride week they had a drag Queen which any child could watch. What drag has to do with pride I don’t know. But it’s not appropriate.

That’s two examples.

Nooyoiknooyoik · 08/03/2023 15:24

Astralitzia · 08/03/2023 14:52

We were definitely told that anal sex existed and that it was very unlikely to result in pregnancy when I was a teenager (back in the 1990s). I remember a small section on ways to avoid pregnancy in sex, which covered contraception and non-PIV sex acts like anal sex. As I recall we mostly just sniggered or cringed all the way through. I don't think any of us were rushing off to try it out after class.

I would be very interested to see solid proof of some of these claims like "children are being taught how to choke each other", and what is being defined as "graphic detail" here.

Saying "anal sex is when a man puts his penis into the anus of a receiving partner." could be construed as graphic detail. But that seems fairly bare bones and factual to me.

It’s also factual to say that choking a woman involves putting your hands around her neck and fisting involves putting a whole fist in a vagina and bukkake means lots of men ejaculating on a woman. Lots of facts out there.

The question is, which ones do you raise with children and in what context?

Fifthtimelucky · 08/03/2023 15:27

Here's the exchange taken from Hansard

Q6 (from Miriam Cates)
Graphic lessons on oral sex, how to choke your partner safely and 72 genders—this is what passes for relationships and sex education in British schools. Across the country, children are being subjected to lessons that are age-inappropriate, extreme, sexualising and inaccurate, often using resources from unregulated organisations that are actively campaigning to undermine parents. This is not a victory for equality; it is a catastrophe for childhood. Will my right hon. Friend honour his commitment to end inappropriate sex education by commissioning an independent inquiry into the nature and extent of this safeguarding scandal? (904004)
The Prime Minister
I share my hon. Friend’s concerns and thank her for her work in this area. That is why I have asked the Department for Education to ensure that schools are not teaching inappropriate or contested content in relationships, sex and health education. Our priority should always be the safety and wellbeing of children. Schools should also make curriculum content and materials available to parents. As a result of all this, we are bringing forward a review of RSHE statutory guidance and will start our consultation as soon as possible.

funtycucker · 08/03/2023 15:33

IneedanewTV · 08/03/2023 14:09

Good for your daughter. But that’s a year ago. We have moved on.

im happy for my daughter to be educated safely on choking but I don’t want her told it’s a normal part of sex. There is a difference.

Show quote history

Mine is still there but hasn't been taught any of these during RSE. Maybe there are some benefits to a Catholic education 😂

NetballMumGrrr · 08/03/2023 15:34

It’s really painful to think I might have to vote Tory because of their stance on this… ffs Kier what’s your problem

Emotionalstorm · 08/03/2023 15:35

Honestly I think you should just be taught the scientific aspects of sex education as most parents would rather their kid didn't know much more than that.

Emotionalstorm · 08/03/2023 15:36

E.g. this is a diagram of your body and all the illnesses you can get from having sex and a firm deterrent against engaging in it since they're kids.

Emotionalstorm · 08/03/2023 15:36

When I was in school half the parents pulled their kids out of school because they went into great detail about contraception and abortion.

Believeitornot · 08/03/2023 15:37

I heard it and rolled my eyes. Parents are shown what materials will be taught at primary school, and my experience is that it was age appropriate. (My youngest is in year 6). So it feels like another culture war to me.

Astralitzia · 08/03/2023 15:38

Emotionalstorm · 08/03/2023 15:35

Honestly I think you should just be taught the scientific aspects of sex education as most parents would rather their kid didn't know much more than that.

Really? You wouldn't want to include things like consent in that?

This sort of approach is also what leads to women getting a raw deal when it comes to sexual pleasure throughout life. If you only teach about the male orgasm, as that's the only one with the (known) biological function, and exclude anatomy you don't consider necessary, like the clitoris, you'll just go back to reinforcing the attitude that it's only the man's pleasure that's important.

Believeitornot · 08/03/2023 15:38

NetballMumGrrr · 08/03/2023 15:34

It’s really painful to think I might have to vote Tory because of their stance on this… ffs Kier what’s your problem

You don’t have to.
Maybe do some proper research on it rather than go on inflammatory rhetoric.

The Tories are in power and have been for 13 years. Why are people acting as if they’re not now responsible for how things are being done now? Why would you vote for the Tories when all the problems are occurring under their watch?!

FourTeaFallOut · 08/03/2023 15:38

Thanks Fifthtimelucky. The exchange went by in a blur of words while I was busy and it's good to see it written. So the upshot is statutory guidence achieved through consultation. Not sure where I got a review from 😬

FourTeaFallOut · 08/03/2023 15:40

Believeitornot · 08/03/2023 15:37

I heard it and rolled my eyes. Parents are shown what materials will be taught at primary school, and my experience is that it was age appropriate. (My youngest is in year 6). So it feels like another culture war to me.

Where's the war in achieving an agreed upon and accountable sex education in school?