To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

I don't really care that much. It makes no difference to my life. It clearly bothers you. But it doesn't bother the majority of women who prefer to choose their own title, not have it dictated to them because feminism.

From a Ms.

I think what is true is that you don't understand the point. But that's ok. I don't really care that much whether you do or don't.

I think women can choose whatever title they want. As per the thread topic.

🤷‍♀️

Put it this way.

Is it feminist to believe that women have the right to use the title Miss or Mrs?

I choose Ms and use the name I was born with, it’s been my name for 70 years. I’ve been Ms for over 40 years. It’s a choice that’s open to every woman and I’m happy to be assumed to be a feminist because I am and I’m quite proud of being a difficult woman. Trying to steal other women’s right to choose is the complete opposite of feminism in my book. It’s dictatorship and makes feminism just as bad as patriarchy.

Trying to steal other women’s right to choose is the complete opposite of feminism in my book. It’s dictatorship and makes feminism just as bad as patriarchy.

Yep.

Oh! I’ve just had a rather splendid idea!

Why can’t Mrs refer to all women? And we non-married / divorced /widowed (or feminist activist if you prefer) women decide to wear jewellery on our ‘wedding’ fingers too …ta da!

Nobody can tell a married woman not to use a title or wear a ring, but also nobody can tell a single woman that either??

Call yourself Mrs. There's no restriction on that. As long as other women get to choose for themselves too.

It's neither feminist nor anti-feminist.

Feminism is simply the belief that women are equal to men and should have equal rights and opportunities to men.

If men labelled themselves according to whether they are married or unmarried then I suppose it would be a feminist position to believe that women should have the right to do the same. But they don't.

Why don't they?

Here we are 38 pages in arguing whether we should use Miss, and or Mrs. Men don’t have this argument: they get Mr, and they get on with being in power. There are no true choices, feminist or otherwise, in a patriarchy: only the least worst option. Keeping a range of titles relating to whether one is married or not is just another false choice designed to keep women busy and distracted so we don’t smash the patriarchy.

Pointing out that a particular choice is rooted in patriarchal tradition and therefore not a feminist choice is not the same as trying to deprive someone of that choice.

I merely hope that making that choice becomes deeply unfashionable before too long.

Yes! Mrs is the new Mr! Miss or Ms still available for those who choose of course, like master for men.

Hear hear.

Because it doesn’t matter. Feminism isn’t about being the same as men. It’s about having the same opportunities and not being disadvantaged by being female. There’s a perfectly good equivalent of Mr, it’s Ms. I’m perfectly happy for women who choose to be Mrs to call themselves that. Because I’m not a tyrant who wants to dictate to other women.

Fill your boots. 🤣

I would argue that having assumptions made about you on the basis of what title you use IS a disadvantage of being female.

I get really irked at being asked for my title. I don’t want one. I’m happy for everyone to call me by my first name. I get so annoyed when online shopping etc and the title is asterisked in red so has to be filled in. Why? I don’t want to be Ms, Miss, Mrs or any other title. It should be optional so that those who want to can fill it in and those who don’t, don’t. It gives me the rage.

You can argue that. I disagree. I don’t think anyone’s ever made any incorrect assumptions about me on that basis. They may think being titled Ms incongruous in conjunction with my wearing wedding and engagement rings. Frankly that’s their problem. I know who and what I am. Other people’s assumptions don’t concern me.

Slightly missing the point though.

Whether people's assumptions bother you or not - and you can see what assumptions some people make about women who use Ms on this thread alone - they are still making assumptions about you that they wouldn't be making about men.

Asking a woman to state whether she is "Miss", "Mrs" or "Ms" is essentially asking her to label herself as "spinster", "wife" or "difficult woman".

When men are required to do the same, then I won't see it as problematic.

It’s only problematic if you make it so. The sooner we stop using men as the standard against which we measure ourselves, the sooner we’ll be empowered.

Optional is always fine. Choice being the key word.
Mrs
Ms
Miss
No title.

Then everyone's happy as they can choose to be whoever they want to be.

But wait. I believe there are some who are not happy. There needs to be one way and one way only. Who are these people. 🤔 I forget what they call themselves...

Yes 👏! I was filling out a preschool application the other day and it asked me if I was Mrs, Miss, Ms. Or DR.

whhhhyyy does it matter?

When men are the ones who have historically had more rights and more power, they are the minimum standard we should be measuring ourselves against.

Do men have this right? Yes? Then we should have it too.

Do men have to put up with this shit? No? Then we shouldn't have to either.

And it's naive to say that other people's behaviour is their problem alone. If that were true, nobody would be bothered by it.

When men are required to do the same, then I won't see it as problematic.

I don't see it as problematic anyway. I'm not alone in thinking that... 😲 😂

Perhaps a good solution (altho it would never happy, I don't think) would be to just have Mr for men and Ms for women? Even just for the purposes of showing what sex you are, for example if you have an ambiguous name.