To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

There's precedent for this too. A few hundred years ago, 'Mistress', the precursor of 'Mrs', was used for any respectable adult woman regardless of marital status.

No, it means that I have some things in common with feminists, not that I am a feminist.

I'm struggling to understand why any woman would not be a feminist.

Because I prefer to think for myself rather than be forced into the narrow militant world view that is feminism today.

1. Because you believe women are inferior to men and should not have equal rights.
2. Because you don't understand what feminism is and have swallowed some absolute nonsense rather thank thinking for yourself.

Those are the only two reasons.

What on earth do you think a feminist is?

Feminism is a broad umbrella and includes feminists of more radical mindsets (and radical in different ways).

At it's heart, feminism is very simply the belief that women and men are equal and women should have equality of opportunities and rights to men.

It's both frustrating and saddening when people believe otherwise.

I think this thread tells you everything you need to know.

That's not an answer to the question.

YANBU I only use Ms, but unfortunately some people feel validated by the title Mrs, something that we can't change or enforce in society and culture.

I only hope it will go out of fashion in the coming generations. It seems insane that we have so much fighting for women's rights and equality but so few people want to touch this easy win to level the playing field. I just don't understand at all why only women have to differentiate between their marital status, whereas the men go from Master to Mr when they 'come of age'. It's archaic and patriarchal.

This is what I thought.

And it’s their choice. Freedom to choose is an integral element of feminism. There’s no such thing as the wrong kind of feminism and it’s as oppressive as patriarchy to insist there is.

It is an answer. You just want more. Which is unfortunate, as I'm not planning to spend my afternoon debating militant feminism. It's something that I'm not interested in, or align myself with. I walk my path. You walk yours.

Not read the whole 37 pages, but I like being a Mrs.. it feels like one of the only connections I have left to my late husband, using his name..
Also lately (sadly) no-one seems to actually use it - they ask for my first name or first initial, & surname. So I don't see why 37 pages were needed, tbh!

mamabear715 💐♥️

No, "this thread tells you everything you need to know" is a cop out, not an answer to the question, "what do you think a feminist is?"

A feminist is anyone who believes women are men's equals and deserve the same rights and opportunities.

Anyone who says they are not a feminist either doesn't believe women are men's equals and deserve the same rights and opportunities, or they don't know what a feminist is.

But do you get that the widespread use of Mrs for married women and Miss for never married women denies women in general the choice of not having assumptions made about their marital status based on the title they choose to use?

Another vote for the French system. Miss for a child (under 18) and Mrs for an adult (18 and over) because these are proper words.

Do males change from Master to Mister at 18?

No. Ms has been in common use for decades. Anyone who chooses not to have those assumptions made about them is free to use it. Equally, women who wish to reveal their marital status can use Mrs. Denying the latter their choice is dictatorial.

Ah, but you're wrong. I do believe in equality for women.

But I've already been told that my belief that women can use whatever title they want is not a feminist position.

Therefore a militant hard line is there in order to fit the feminist position / narrative.

I do not meet that criteria.

Thus, whilst I have some things in common with feminists, by default i am not a feminist.

Fortunately. Tying myself in knots about this stuff really isn't worth the head space.

Then you are a feminist, but you believe you are not one because you don't understand what one is.

Better than not being one at all, I suppose.

No. I'm clearly not a feminist. I think it's you that's not understanding this. It's pretty apparent.

It's not really in common use, although it is hopefully becoming more common.

Miss/Mrs is still the default, and as you can see from this thread, those who choose Ms still have assumptions made about us, e.g. that we are divorced, we are difficult, we are "militant feminists", we have "issues" etc.

Meanwhile, men just get called Mr without anybody making any assumptions about them whatsoever, other than perhaps assuming they are not a doctor.

Once again, it bears repeating.

Why don't men have special titles distinguishing those of them who have been clever enough to bag a wife from those who are still sadly on the shelf? Isn't that a bit...odd?

Some people who claim to be feminists are so disingenuous.

If you say you believe women are equal to men and should have equal rights and opportunities, and you also say you are not a feminist, one of those things is not true.