To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

I certainly don't feel oppressed. And if i want to Mrs i will be thank you

I use Ms as it's nobody's business if I'm married or not!

@EmmaGrundyForPM - abolishing all other titles apart from Ms would make you happy, and seems forward-thinking to you - I get that.

But why does that make it OK to force a change onto people like me and like @slowquickstep who are happy to be called Mrs, and who have made a positive choice to use that title?

As I said earlier on this thread, the compromise is to allow the choice of titles or no title at all, and I suspect that, over time, people would move away from using Mrs and Miss. it would take longer than just abolishing the titles you don’t like, but it would be a kinder and more humane way to do it. Change is better when it is consensual and when people have time to get used to it, than when it is forced onto them.

I'm married and I use Ms - I used it when I was single and continued when I got married. It should just be the equivalent of Mr 🤷‍♀️

I think we should scrap it too. It's old fashioned. I think we should move to first and second names only. I work in a school and it's either Miss, Mrs, Ms or if you're a man... Mr. Why should my marital status be public but not a male colleague.

Yabu.
Titles identify people,is a prefix,should the title king go or queen ?
Do you think I the shop assistant gave a flying fcuk that you had been " divulged " as a single mum ?

I don’t think abolishing it is even an answer is it? Some people are happy and proud to disclose their marital status surely

What do you think children should call their teachers?

I'm married, but I go by Miss or Ms, I didn't take hubby's surname. Back in the day if you were a Ms, they thought you were a spinster... I agree maybe time for a change, hell everything else is changing

Yanbu. I would get rid of them completely. I use mx though I am very securely female gender because it nobody’s bloody business.

For the people who say ‘oh I like being a mrs’ I think it would be good to examine why other people knowing you are married makes you feel good. Are you carrying around internalised misogyny that women wanted by a man are somehow worthier? Is it a way to ward off unwanted approaches as you are ‘taken’? Do you think unmarried women (of your age) are lesser? I can’t think of non-sexist reason to define women by their marital Status.

This has annoyed me for years too

Get rid I say

So why don't men have special titles to distinguish those who have managed to bag a wife from those who haven't?

Ms. It’s pretty easy.

I agree 100% - those titles are ridiculous. Mr is daft too but at least from teenage years/adulthood onwards men have just one title. I am married and NEVER call myself Mrs. I haven't changed my name. If people insist I give a title I refer to myself as Miss or sometimes Ms. Mx is interesting - perhaps I'll adopt that.

I loved being Mrs when I first got married, 15 years on times have changed and I find it unnecessarily personal. I don’t want everyone to know whether I’m married or not and often use Ms, I don’t like that either though it’s so spinstery.

But this way we get to not disclose personal info. Dr is a great way to respond to the marital stays question.

'With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender'
Really? Some of the younger generation appear to be obsessed with defining themselves by gender.

Married and also use Ms for everything, as do lots of my friends, married, divorced, never married. I think it’s a catch all for most.

When I got divorced I decided to use Ms.

I am and have always been Ms (even when single, and am now married), my daughter is also Ms. I am also of the view that it's archaic that women declare their marital status whereas men do not.

After many many pages I still can't work out the attachment to Mrs, only that "they" can't have it.

I was always told Ms is only used when divorced... I'm divorced and I HATE Ms so I went back to using Miss before my divorce was even finalised!

I agree with you. It’s a pain in the arse. However, as to your question what married woman uses Ms, well this 63 year old woman does! I mostly just use my name, but if someone insists on a title, they get Ms!

This

Would love to see what happened if we introduced a title for married men, something like Mtr (pronounced 'munter'), and gently corrected any married men attempting to use 'Mr'.