To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

Aristocratic and royal titles should go first.

I like Mrs - I am proud to be married. I always wanted to be married and am happy for people to know my marital status.

It does because it means all women are asked to choose miss/Mrs/Ms. If everybody chose Ms and that become the default we would stopped being asked, just as men aren't asked.

It would also hopefully contribute to ending such phrases as “hopelessly single” or words such as “spinster”!

I agree and will add that I do not want to be addressed by my first name (because if we did away with titles, how else can I be addressed) in formal communications. I can only imagine how it would be for the tax office to write to me as "Dear Vickie".

I assume your husband must be ashamed of being married, then, if he keeps his marital status hidden

What would happen if the tax office wrote to you as your first name? Like, what material difference would it make?

Well of course. But many women have chosen not to do that. You don't get to remove other women's choices that they have made for themselves. Because then that would be choice for you, but not anyone else. Which wouldn't be right would it. So you'll just have to carry on choosing Ms for yourself if you don't want people to know if you're married, single, widowed, etc. That is the choice you can make for yourself. Without elevating and prioritizing what you want over what other women want. All seems very fair to me.

Firstly, Ms doesn't mean that people don't make assumptions regarding whether I am married, single or divorced. Secondly, supporting the status quo of women being asked to choose a title you are actually reducing my choice to be treated the same as a man and not to be asked. Just because you don't want to be treated equally to men why should I not be treated equally either?

Cosyblankets As long as you get to keep your choice then

Not really cosy I'd be happy with just M, or no title at all. I just don't think my marital status is relevant. I never changed my name when I married, as I didn't want the cost involved of changing my drivers license, passport and other documentsI'm also a lazy bugger and hate paperwork! Miss seems a bit, I dunno, old fashioned and girly perhaps? Mrs, makes me think of a great bossomy matriarch!
I don't particularly care what title is used, and I'm not that found of Ms. either but if we have to be ascribed a title I'd rather go for something which doesn't denote marital status,

I was Miss before I married, dinosaurs were roaming the earth then 😂 I use Mrs since my marriage.

Not always. It often means you don't want to be identified by gender.

'Mx.' is a gender-neutral honorific for those who don't wish to be identified by gender. Though the earliest print evidence dates to 1977, the word has only recently become popular.from MW.

I often use it on forms/online shopping etc when neither my gender nor marital status matter or are of any concern.

On the Fortnum & Mason drop down list (and Liberty too, I think) I'm 'M', for Madame. I'm quite happy with that and would see no problem with it being the default setting (I've also been Countess, Brigadier and Wing Commander on occasion, but just for fun).

Until it is, I'll remain 'Miss' and anybody - male or female - who thinks they'll try to tell me what I'm allowed to call myself can get to fuck.

I think your idea of fairness is a little skewed - for those of us who would prefer men and women to be on an equal footing, Ms is the best of a handful of bad options. As this thread has shown in the UK it isn't universally perceived as a neutral option and isn't without baggage; and as long as some women choose to broadcast their marital status through their title that's likely to remain.

Given history there is no perfect option here that will please everyone but it's pretty reasonable for people to talk about the fact that they would prefer a different, less weighted system because none of the options available to them actually deliver their preferred outcome at this point in time.

I would expect them to write to me with my full name. Dear What Aday. No marital status required.

I am treated equally to men generally. The choice Ms Miss or Mrs are no impediment to that. The exception where I am not equal is the occasional aggressive male and strength difference. My title makes no difference to the things that actually matter. Funny how you think you think you should have the right to change every other women's choices about themselves to suit you though. 😂Now back to the real world.

I like Ms ( I'm also a Mrs) but I hated Miss. It's for little girls only IMHO. Like Master is for little boys.

I agree with OP - why is my marital status a thing? But don't think Ms has issues !

And I don't like 'Ms' and won't be using it. I have no idea whether I know anybody who does, because we just use each others names.

I think your idea of fairness is skewed.

My idea of fairness is that women choose whatever title they want for themselves.

Your idea of fairness is that you choose for you and them.

@jumpingbean1810

I agree with you completely. This irritates me so much.

Is it Miss or Mrs? FUCK OFF

I don’t assume a Miss is not married, as she may choose to be Miss, and I don’t assume a Mrs is married as my divorced DM stayed a Mrs.

You're reading things that people haven't written. Is it intentional?

I've acknowledged there is no fair outcome here. I haven't said I want to choose for you. Why pretend otherwise?

Im simply voicing my discomfort with a system in which my outcome is worse than yours. You get what you want - there is no option that gives me what I want.

Why are you so determined to pretend that people have said things they haven't, or that all currently available choices are equally weighted and desirable for all of us? What harm does it do you to acknowledge that the current system works better for you than it does for people who would prefer true equality in male and female titles?

Your idea of fairness is actually that all women should choose a title whether or not they want to because you want to tell everybody that you're married. My idea of fairness is that nobody should have to choose a title. I'm sure there's some other way of telling complete strangers that you're married if you really want to.

Totally agree - we should all be Ms, and I’m sure that will happen soon.

Mrs and Miss are ridiculous.

I use the title Ms.

Therefore I don't tell everyone that I'm married.

Perfect right? For those who don't want to say.