To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

Again, it's not the individual woman choosing to use it as such. It's the existance of the system in itself. And the (passionate) support of it for some women - obviously to allow them to gloat about bagging and keeping a amn.

I hate Ms, we had this really horrible teacher at school who insisted on it and got really angry if anyone got it wrong (at 8 years old). So now Ms is synonymous with miserable old cow to me.
I don't know why I'd care about people knowing if I was married or not though, it's just never been an issue and if it was then I'd have no problem lying about it if I needed to.

No idea tbh but according to the doctor and dentist I've been a Mrs for the last 10 years. I'm only 27 so not sure why someone thought I was married at 17. It's quite odd.

Same! My maiden name is my Dad's surname and I didn't want to be associated with him any longer. But changing to my mum's maiden name didn't feel right because I was never known by that (my mum also never reverted back to her maiden name)

The earnest feminist, the patriarchy and the systems of power. And the damn women who won't listen to you, and oppress you with their Mrs identity. 😂

I don't think that's true, though, is it? The existence of Miss and Mrs leads people to load a huge amount of irrational people on to how they perceive 'Ms' (and people who use it) - this thread is a good example of some of that. Unfortunately it's not a purely neutral choice in that the existence of one option has an impact on how the other options are perceived.

I'd love it were that not the case (and certainly in my home country 'Ms' is a lot less loaded).

Im married and a Mrs.

its what i do.

im sick and tired of people wanting to be called them, it, whatever.

Maybe she was fed up with being identified based on her marital status.

And it's not about lying about whether you are married. It's having to address it at all.

😂 I’ve worked in the NHS for 16 years and meet hundreds of new people every week, but if you say so, I don’t know that many people!

Also just generally what you’re saying is nonsense, I’m early forties, no-one uses Ms.

What you do?

"Being married" is what you do?

What 'old days' would these be?

I'm 58, and I don't know anyone my age who has ever used Miss or Mrs. Ms Magazine was first published in 1972, and the title took off after that.

And pray tell, what's the reason to use the term 'spinster'?

Oh don't let the truth get in the way of the message.

When is the old days exactly?

Marriage benefits anyone who's more of the receiver in the relationship - whether that be having a better financial status and still having it even after divorce (alimony, etc) or having domestic chores taken care of by someone else, etc.

If it's truly 50/50, then there's no need or it doesn't matter as it benefits/doesn't benefit either.

I think titles will disappear. I think though that it will be based on gender sensitivity rather than women's rights. Women and equaly seems to be a losing battle, but hopefully we can piggy back on some of the more effective campaigns.

@FancyFran - does your daughter know that Mx means "non binary"?

I agree it is ridiculous - but the online shops are even worse. I'm a "Lady" for my Waitrose delivery and I used to be a "Princess" for British Airways when I was a FF. Fortnum and Mason have the most outrageous titles. Hilarious.

I often put "The" down when I can. If I can't then I'm a Ms. Married for 25+ years but never been a Mrs.

in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

Yes, it's time OP.

I agree there's not much need for them at all really - most post (not that we get much these days as it's all electronic) just comes to our full names without any "title". It's seems a bit of an old fashioned formality.

I wish "Ms" had caught on better, to me it is associated with divorcees or the hopelessly single

No one knows everything. People know only what they're studying - formally or informally.

It's always funny to read how some people see others as experts in every topic because they are possibly experts in one field.

possibly being the operative word.

Of all titles I hate Ms just feels unnatural to the ear

Well it would have caught on if more women had owned it and used it. But it clearly isn't as popular as some people would claim. Having said that, I think definitely has more usage now than it did when I first started using it, over 30 years ago. Although it's still very much a minority.

It has caught on! It’s been normal for years, decades even.

This. Find it hilarious that in 2023 not wanting to be defined by your marital status is equated with having “issues. So parochial and small minded.