To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

No. Lots of people might want to call other people derogatory names based on disability, or have page 3 girls in national newspapers, or smoke around small children, and see nothing wrong with it -“it’s my choice, it’s banter, it’s harmless, I like it” - but those things are now socially unacceptable.

So your letters say Dear Joe Bloggs rather than Dear Mr Bloggs?

What does this have to do with the thread?

I bet it will not go down well with some customers

Ohhh, me too. I just got a birthday cheque from fil with a hyphenated surname. It's the closest he's come to using my own name in 30 years.

I sometimes use Mrs but I would prefer not to give a title at all as I don't see why people need to know my marital status or make assumptions about it. I suspect many people that currently use Mrs feel the same.

You are not supporting people’s right to choose if you are insisting that people have a title as many people would choose not to have one, probably including many of those who use Mrs.

But nobody is forcing you to be a "Miss". Why don't you use "Ms"?

I like being a Mrs and using it

If you don't wish to use a title then you are at liberty to not use one.
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Because of people saying they want to be Mrs/Miss to mark their status etc, when it’s a backward misogynistic divisive statement which is really socially unacceptable these days.

You probably can pay the cheque in. I use different titles depending on how I feel and it never seems to cause a problem. I don't think that titles have an official meaning which makes it all the more pointless.

I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent

But you hadn't. You could have told her anything, their ordering system doesn't care. And being a Miss doesn't necessarily mean you are single and a single.parent!

Personally I prefer to have a "title" because I'd rather tell some people that I am Mrs Fish than my first name.

Why? How does your DH similarly advertise his marital status to strangers?

You're not at liberty to not use one in the UK actually. You obviously haven't tried it but the computer will always say no. Why do you think people object to titles if they don't need to give one anyway!?

How do you circumnavigate a form that requires one without giving one?

Wedding ring.

I use Ms and Mr no matter what the age or marital status. Men don't change from Mr upon marriage, so neither should women.

No, I like using Mrs.

Can you explain why? I don’t mean this goadily – I’m genuinely interested in the mindset of liking to convey one’s relationship status to people, particularly when we mostly use titles on official paperwork and forms, where it’s most irrelevant.

What, in emails, letters, doctor’s appointments?

Because being a wife (and mother) is culturally seen as "sucess". Same reason that spinister and divorcee have negative connotations. Widow is alright because at least you were able to bag a man at one point in your life.

He sends a picture I assume

I don't think it does have those associations. I've never heard anyone say those things about it before this thread. I think that's a minority view as well.

They use my husband's surname not my surname, that's why I can't pay the cheque in.

I have never changed my name and they refuse to respect my choice.

I think that's the point, it's not really a choice when there are social judgements and refusal to accept women's choice not to declare their marital status and take their husband's surname.

This is why I think all women should stick with Ms.

So he refuses to fill in the box that asks for his title and sends them a photo of his hand?