To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

Regardless, most people would assume you're married if you're a Mrs. Unless it becomes public knowledge in society, it wouldn't really make a dent in the eyes of people.

I work with people of all ages. I am in my 50s. My friends are of the same generation. Many have daughters who have married in the last few years. I don't know a single person who is actually bothered by any of these arguments about titles. I don't know anyone who is offended by being asked for their title. When I've been asked I have never had the assistant seem bothered by asking. The vast majority of married women I know ranging from mid 20s upwards are Mrs Hisname. Mumsnet appears to be another world where you can't possibly ask anyone if they are married. There are not many things where women have a choice that men don't have. Call yourself what you like. It's your choice. But don't ask others to follow what you do because calling themselves what they like is their choice.

Fine. Marital status is relevant for some women and want to use the 'Mrs' title. Why should they be told what to do?

Then let these women get on with it. Each to their own

Well no. Because we are all forced to use it.

But that is literally what the current convention requires. Everyone to define themselves by their relation to a man. Even if they don't want to. Then make titles optional. That would be fine.

Mrs would be the best, as it was used pre-18thC (more or less).

Mrs was the title of an adult woman. A pity we lost it.

A marriage is a legal contract. It only has the old connotations of ownership if you want it to. I wasn’t “given away” by my father and didn’t take my husbands surname. We are married because we love eachother and because the legal contract gives us certain protections. This was especially important before bringing children into the mix.

Ms has absolutely nothing to do with being divorced. All of the women that I know that use Ms are just adult women, married or otherwise. They feel no need to announce their marital status to others because it’s not 1950.

I’m happily married and changed my name as wanted same name as my kids (double barrel not suitable for various reasons) but I’m Ms as I figure the only person who cares that I’m married is my husband! To me Ms is the equivalent to Mr.

I just don't agree with you. You struggle to accept that. That is dull. And predictable from a noisy minority.
Mountain plus molehill springs to mind.

I’m a really boring happily married mum of two children, and in my mid forties.

I have zero ‘issues’ and have used Ms and my surname (didn’t change it when I got married) since I was eighteen. In my opinion the more women who do this the better.

No.

Posters are disagreeing with your 'explanation'. That doesn't make them 'obtuse'

Women must agree that a minority of other more informed women know what's best for them.

No. I said I had a problem with women being defined and indeitifed by their marital status. This PP took to mean I had a problem with marriage. That's not disagreeing. That's just being obtuse. Intentionally or otherwise.

I find it odd that you assume you are talking for the majority.

Well then be happily married. And don't declare your martial status. Ms is the title for you. Job done.

I'm Dr now but I never had any problems using Ms beforehand, because why on earth should women's marital status be disclosed by their title? In fact, despite being very proud when I received my doctorate, titles do seem entirely pointless to me these days.

So if you’re proud to be Miss or Ms, then that’s seen as a positive on this thread, yet if you’re proud of being Mrs you’re somehow letting the side down?

I don't think it's a case of letting the side down. It's the fact that your title refers to your marital status, and why need that be necessary, surely?

Well clearly if the majority of married women go by Mrs, which they do, then it's not a minority position.

Why does it matter to anyone else?

Can you expand?

If many people assume you are divorced if you use Ms then you can't really say it has nothing to do with marriage. it doesn't matter whether the assumption is correct. Why should people have to have titles which then results in other people making assumptions?

It kind of does make them obtuse when they come out with things like "well don't get married then" as if that stops a woman being titled according to her marital status.

All men have the same title - and they aren’t “the same” either.