To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

Why is someone calling themselves Mrs damaging to either them? Or you?

I think you are being willfully obtuse if you can't see that a society which titles women according to whether or not they are married, as if that is a defining aspect of their identity and social status, is a patriarchal one. If some women feel happy about using the title Mrs that's not surprising as we are conditioned by society to see marriage as the end goal for women. While some women individually may benefit from patriarchy, it does not benefit women as a class.

On repeat now - becasue it defines (or reduces) a woman's identity to her relation to a man.

Meanwhile, in Eff Ell Ay

www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2023/03/05/desantis-backs-bill-ban-use-personally-appointed-pronouns/

Don't get married then if it's causing you that much mental distress.

Men get asked about marital status on paperwork too.

I don't really care that much. Most people clearly don't.

Their choice .

Not yours.

Don't get married then if it's causing you that much mental distress.

You're really struggling to understand this, aren't you? If a woman doesn't get married, she is also defined according to her marital status.

I agree. From the early 00’s I’ve objected to having a title on my bank accounts, cheque books (remember those) and cards. I hate ‘Ms’ and my marital status or perceived marital status is not other’s business. I always felt the opportunity for ‘Citizen’ (Cit for ease) should be available. In fact I really think it should be the norm, but others won’t.

No. She can use Ms. You're really not understanding this.

Don't get married then if it's causing you that much mental distress.

It's not. But I am much more than a man's wife so while I am happy to be married I am not interested in identifying myself based on that.

Men get asked about marital status on paperwork too.

Not on a day to day basis, only in instances where marital status is relevant.

I don't really care that much. Most people clearly don't.

Well you should. Because women will never achieve equality when they defined by their relationship to a man.

I agree with you OP. I can't see any benefit in titles. The only people who seemed to like them are some married women who seem very proud to use Mrs. Titles go back to an archaic system where women were discriminated against, particularly unmarried women and it's beyond me why anyone would want to keep it.

Yeah because that wouldn't cause any othering of anyone....

I hate ‘Ms’ it’s a modern invention that is functionally the same as the original ‘Mrs.’

The original Mrs didn’t denote marital status and was the equivalent of Mr.
Just like Miss is the equivalent of Mstr

It’s better imho to just erase Ms, and reclaim Mrs to have its original meaning. Having all three: Miss, Ms, Mrs just perpetuates the Victorian fashion for linking marital status to Mrs.

I’m married and i am now a Mrs and I was Miss until I got married and I like both titles!

It’s honestly something that’s never bothered me either way! Some people like titles, other people don’t! Each to their own!

I don’t feel superior or like my husbands property just because I’m now a Mrs nor did I feel like a child when I was a Miss!

You can call yourself whatever you like and honestly no one will care!

Actaully I suspect you are just being delibertately obtuse. Because people have explained it time and time again. The issue is that women are being defined and indetified through their relationship (or lack of) with a man. When they are people in their own right. Plus, they don't have a choice because unelss they are required on a daily basis to comment on their marital status (even if just to stay they don't want to declare it). You keep just ignoring that and insisting the people have a problem with marriage. It's dull.

I think you're right in that women's titles are so unnecessary these days. I use Ms and have always done. It's annoying when people think that it's for divorced people though.
"Ms is for miss with issues" made me laugh!

My DC say that if you Ms many people will assume you are divorced. It's just irritating people making assumptions about you based on a title which is completely unnecessary in the first place.

It's not “each to their own” because women have to give a title whether they like it or not, and people then make assumptions about them on that basis. Men don't have to give a title so why should women?

Absolutely not. I'm not happy with shop assistants, call handlers calling me by my first name.

I wouldn't dream of using a first name for one of our patients unless I knew them well.

Exactly this. It should be an adult/child distinction rather than a married/single one.

Agreed.

That’s how it used to be before the Victorians.
Mrs is English counterpart to Madame and Miss is English counterpart to Mademoiselle.

I have chosen to reclaim it and been a Mrs since I turned 18.

Forget the titles, I want to know how you feel about exclamation marks

As a married woman, if I used Mrs it wouldn't be reclaiming anything. It would only play into the general usage.

I don’t care what the word is, as long as it is the same for everyone.

Shock horror! All people are not the same!