To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

Thats why I said its personal choice. I’m happy with Mrs.

It is certainly the impression society gives.

Exactly this.

As I said, its personal choice. No difficulty with understanding.

🤨

Yes! I really resent having to fill in a title that - for women only - only serves to tell the recipient whether I am married. Why is this in any way relevant to anyhting?! Why do women have to disclose their marital staus and not men?

I tend to put Ms. I sm half considering doing PHD so I can call myself doctor!

Everyone should just use Ms. Unfortunately Mrs is still seen as some kind of achievement 🙄

And yes, I know lots of married and unmarried women who use Ms. I don't know any grown women who uses Miss.

I was a Miss, then a Mrs and now I'm a Ms (I do wish I'd got my PhD!).
I've never had an issue, but absolutely don't see why it matter is most places I'm asked for it.
I'd rather just be Orig Rights and when someone needs to know my sex (security, medical) I would prefer to say I'm female.

Well they do judging by this thread. And if it doesn't matter to society why aren't companies and organisations ditching the need to identify whether you are single, married or divorced if you are a woman. You would think they would not still use them. But they do.

I've been a Ms since my 20's, never liked Miss, and I've used it since regardless of marriage and divorce. I feel it's the equivalent of Mr. I use it because it doesn't denote my marital status, as that's nobody's business, and if that means people think I've got The Issues, that's ok with me.

But you did ask what do they do combining double barrelled names which implies that you didn't understand.

What's a more likely explanation was that it was a thinly veiled dig at those who have chosen the double barrelled route but you disguised it as faux ignorance.

That's how I read it too.

Agree, I hate using Mrs as I think it makes me seem old as I got married in my early 20’s. But also would not use Ms as I associate this with a divorcee or widower and also I hate pronouncing it. Maybe we should just have Miss until 18 and then Mrs, like we have Master and then Mr.

In a situation when ordering in a shop, give the assistant your name as you want to be called. We ran a shop where we took orders for many years, and we hated asking the personal title. If you don't want to be known as Ms, give your first name and be happy for the shop staff to call you by your first name. One of our staff wouldt ask, so the name on the order form was just the surname. If we had to phone we did not know who to ask for, so occassionally gave away surprise presents, not so much of a problem now most people have their mobiles. Some people don't like to be called by their first name by shop staff. I hated unknown customers using my first name, as this was often the first step in asking for discounts or 'favours'. People are funny. Some, usually older, want to be known as Mr or Mrs, some happy for the use of the first name. The worst who when asked their name just gave their surname. What do you call them if you have to phone to be sure you are not offending them? Just tell them what you want to be called. They do not care if you are a single mother. The time to be concerned is if staff in a busy shoo remember your name. It means you are either spending a lot in the shop, or are a pita.

No, Mrs has connotations and those aren't acceptable. It won't do the job.

But they are being ditched. Im surprised you don't know that. Granted some organisations are more progessive than others but its becoming standard now as there is far greater awareness that its outdated and misogynistic.

You aren't allowed to assume gender in the corporate environment these days so you sure as shit can't assume marital status lol

OP the bigger issue is that you care too much what other people think :)

But I agree it would be better if Ms was the standard for women.

I don’t think they will get rid of titles as some people feel not using them is too informal in certain situations. A lot of people will feel it’s too familiar automatically using first names. Especially in certain professional situations like court etc.
Also what would children call their teachers?

Im a fat, awkward, autistic blob. Ain't nobody giving me respect because I have Mrs as my title.

This. My wedding day was special to me. My marriage is special to me. I've married a lovely man, and I'm happy to use his name.

It might be old fashioned, but that's ok.👍

I’ve always been Ms, since I was a child; my mother was Ms too and taught us to answer the phone to people who asked for “Mrs Bussteward” with “no one of that name here” even if it was obvious they were calling for her and had her name wrong. My daughter is a Ms. To me it’s entirely neutral and I can’t think why anyone would opt for anything else.

But! If it IS seen as awkward or difficult or comes with issues… I slightly delight in that too. I like difficult women! Women like my mother, saying “no one of that name here” and putting down the phone. Or saying “yes, I’m married, no, I don’t have a maiden name” as she didn’t change hers, and waiting patiently for the other person to cop on. Viva la difficult women!

my mother was Ms too and taught us to answer the phone to people who asked for “Mrs Bussteward” with “no one of that name here” even if it was obvious they were calling for her

What a twattish thing to teach your children.

But we’re not talking about using his name. That’s another discussion. We’re talking about titles.

Haven’t read the whole thread but have wondered the same as you OP. I have a German friend; she said it’s ‘Frau’ for women and ‘Herr’ for men over there, that’s it. She has unmarried, divorced, single and married friends (some who kept their own name and some who took on husband’s name) - they’re all ‘Frau’. Sounds simple to me!

Haha, no it isn’t. It taught us that you should address people by their name, and that ‘Mrs’ isn’t the default and it’s rude to assume it is, and that she wasn’t an appendage to her husband but a person in her own right, and introduced us to the concept of the patriarchy – after all, no one ever phoned and asked for my dad using Mr Married Name That Isn’t His Name. I’ll be teaching my daughter the same, and also to not refer to other people’s mothers as “twattish” on the internet 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

No it taught you to be rude to people. It's absolutely fine to say oh it's not Mrs, it's Ms.