She climbed up to get the Weetabix

[Bingoisthebestnotbluey]

Dd is 4,5 and very headstrong. She had Weetabix for breakfast-3, which was excessive to me. Later on she asked for more Weetabix as a snack, I don’t want her to have more as she has stomach issues with constipation etc & tummy aches. I got her a snack of strawberries & yoghurt and said there were tangerines & apples too. She threw a huge fit screaming and shouting that she wanted to have Weetabix and trying to knock them out of the cupboard with the sweeping brush. I took them out and put them up really high and she was shouting again. When she’d calmed down, she ate the strawberries and yoghurt and said she just wanted Weetabix because she likes it and that I should let her have what she wants 🙄I explained again why she couldn’t have more Weetabix and we’re only having them for breakfast. She accepted it and it was over (I thought)
Just making dinner before and she said she was hungry, I got her a banana & tangerine and nipped to the loo. When I came out, she’d put her wooden step up to the cupboards, got the Weetabix out and was in the process of putting them in her bowl! Aibu to have lost it?

@Squiblet It’s awful, isn’t it?

We’re mostly through it now, I give a juice of two kiwis with skin on and orange/strawberries per day and it seems to be working (touch wood) but it was a long road and don’t want to end up with her back there!

@Justforlaffs I know 🙈😂She’s always doing crap like this…I mean, I laugh in private and messaged my mum too, who said ‘What’s she done now?’ 🙄
She’s a character for sure, but I do worry I’m not being strict enough sometimes as she’s a bit *too independent and feisty etc

Feel a bit worried now about breaking her spirit…how do I avoid that whilst also making sure she’s not spoilt/a brat who thinks she can do as she pleases 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't think you will break her spirit and it's fine to say have fruit instead of weetabix in order to get some balance in her snacks. My dd is / was similar but is 10 now and in no way broken by me sticking to boundaries.

Oh I had people say that sort of crap to me ‘oooh you’re crushing their personalities’ or ‘gosh you impose your will’.
My youngest is still full of personality, but she also respects me. You have to ensure she knows who is in charge or I can assure you, it’ll get worse!

She has clearly gone against your wishes and I think you were right to tell her off. No has to mean no. It isn't just about weetabix it's about respecting what her mum says.

Too much fibre and too little water results in constipation.

You need to drink a lot to avoid constipation if you're a child of 4 and you eat 3+ weetabix in a day.

You let a 3 year old do this?
You just watch him open the cupboards and meekly sit there whilst waiting for the toast to pop? Getting infuriated and doing fuck all about it?

Again, that is NOT what I said. Everyone is so bloody desperate to launch on you on here.

You won't break her spirit by having healthy boundaries and meaning no when you've said it

Believe me as a parent of 2 strong willed dc , now 28 years old and almost 12 years old you want to put all that in place before they hit pre teen years!

My more easy going 20 year old and 10 year old have been a doddle in comparison to their strong willed brothers

You won’t break her spirit holding boundaries.

I would have given a reward sticker for achievement and had a laugh

Why is everyone so serious these days?

🙄Yes dear

Did daddy just forget about the doctor's advice, or did she manage to persuade him to give her 3 against his better judgement?

If daddy is putty in her hands, your determination to rein in her stroppy behaviour may be in vain. If she can override him she's probably wondering if you're a pushover too. Mixed messages are confusing to a child, but they also encourage the more determined ones.

I think you need to observe whether she ends up getting her own way with him for a bit and if this is the case he needs to get on the same page as you.

@WandaWonder

im sure you would

Same. Also it really isn't good for you. Cereal?

You did the right thing x

Of course you did the right thing. Once you have said No, it's No.

You are doing her a good thing by teaching boundaries and respect. At 4.5 of course most children understand if you do "a" I will take away "b". It's nonsense that they don't.

We have a very independent child that has very very strong "views" and "opinions" but they also know what's wrong and right within their boundaries. I sometimes find people replace spirited/strong willed for cant do as they are asked.

Continue you as you are OP, it's ok to say no to a child.

It's irrelevant whether it was Wheetabix or a Mars bar that dd wanted. Mummy said no, and no means no- so you were right to be cross with her. I don't get people saying it's ok to not do as she was told just because Wheetabix are supposedly healthy. Nothing is healthy in excess and four wheetabix in a day for a three year old is excessive- high fibre does cause constipation in young children.

DS did something almost identical at around the same age.

I can report he is neither obese or breaking into the local Tesco extra at all hours to feed his weetabix addiction.

I do get that it's a worry watching them scale the worktops for cereal. Especially when they're wee and the fall would be serious.

I don't know why people keep going on about how amazing it is that she managed to climb on something with a sweeping brush to get to what she wanted .

The majority of 4.5 year olds would be able to think it through and do the same. Only the string willed ones actually go through with it though 🤣

mummy said no so that means no, i always found that sentiment ridiculous to be honest, of course for the big stuff yeah parents generally know what's best but come on sometimes convincing your parents is part of childhood, obviously this situation is different because its a health issue

Breaking a child’s spirit will happen with abuse - physical etc.
Having clear boundaries where a child understands exactly where they stand and consequences are implemented will not break a child’s spirit.
Independence of course that’s totally ok. Doing what Mum said exactly not to do - that’s disobedient and naughtily. If a child is hungry and is offered an option they like to eat they will take it. That’s different from wanting the taste of weetajix.
Believe in your natural authority as her Mum. That won’t break her spirit. It will make her feel secure, loved and listen to her mum.

At 4 she's going to know and understand that she's lost her weekend money

At this age its more that many people believe that the consequences of their actions should be immediate rather than drawn out so bad behaviour, immediate consequence and a line drown under it and move on

You may find that if she's strong willed she will be bringing the loss of pocket money up for the rest of the week, which is a pain to deal with

Might be something to think about in future ?