She climbed up to get the Weetabix

[Bingoisthebestnotbluey]

Dd is 4,5 and very headstrong. She had Weetabix for breakfast-3, which was excessive to me. Later on she asked for more Weetabix as a snack, I don’t want her to have more as she has stomach issues with constipation etc & tummy aches. I got her a snack of strawberries & yoghurt and said there were tangerines & apples too. She threw a huge fit screaming and shouting that she wanted to have Weetabix and trying to knock them out of the cupboard with the sweeping brush. I took them out and put them up really high and she was shouting again. When she’d calmed down, she ate the strawberries and yoghurt and said she just wanted Weetabix because she likes it and that I should let her have what she wants 🙄I explained again why she couldn’t have more Weetabix and we’re only having them for breakfast. She accepted it and it was over (I thought)
Just making dinner before and she said she was hungry, I got her a banana & tangerine and nipped to the loo. When I came out, she’d put her wooden step up to the cupboards, got the Weetabix out and was in the process of putting them in her bowl! Aibu to have lost it?

She sounds a bit like my DD, same age. I don't think you were wrong to punish her, she needs to know that no means no. I'd have taken the weetabix away tomorrow, though, rather than her pocket money.

No means no but the consequence of her behaviour should be closer to the occurrence.

@MrsDoylesDoily - Yes, I read and understood the OP. My reading comprehension is quite good --compared to many who post on here it seems- I really couldn't get worked up about this. Sometimes you have to explain things to a 4 year old several times. I really couldn't get worked up about this, but I was a "head strong" child myself.

That was the point I was trying to make. No it’s no good. But no it’s not a huge deal. No is no, move on.

OP, she sounds a lot like my daughter to be honest, (who is now a teenager). She had a LOT of spirit, could be incredibly rude, was ultra resourceful and honestly was quite difficult. We didn’t ‘break her spirit’ we just made sure she knew no meant no, and over time she improved.

There’s a difference between beating them down over every little thing, never allowing any flexibility, never allowing any independence etc and standing firm on your boundaries and non negotiables.

The wheatabix fell? It is dense

It's very difficult for a 4.5 year old to take enough fluids on board for three weetabix. This can lead to weetabix worsening constipation.

I would be limiting it to one per day.

I'm impressed she climbed and made the effort for Weetabix, my nearly 4 year old gets his chair and climbs ot the top cupboard for the chocolate!

Sorry but this is hillarious!!

Some weird replies here. 4.5 is school age, certainly old enough to understand the word no. It's not about what the food is or if its healthy or not, it's about behaviour. Op I'd be punishing her as well for being a cheeky so and so.

IMO if I said “no” I had to stick to it. You said “no”. She pushed back. Normal for her age of course, but at boundary-pushing 4-years-old I’d be telling off- you said no then she tried to do it anyway.

Personally I think she’s too young for pocket money and too young for delayed punishment. For me this’d be an opportunity to start “for a treat you can have £2 to spend” every few weeks, and this time “instead of going to the shop being our weekend treat, let’s go swimming / ice skating / museum / whatever”. It gets you out of the hole - you can’t say no pocket money then give her it and wonder why boundaries are an issue.

My child won’t eat anything and often goes for days without eating. I’d be delighted if she asked for (and ate) extra weetabix

Yabu. Just let her have one more or say you can half half a Weetabix and you can have half yogurt and strawberries or something.

Weetabix would help with constipation..

Imagine being desperate for Mac and cheese and being given a salad even though you can see Mac and cheese ready. It would be frustrating!

@Hungrycaterpillarsmummy

frustrating yes, but that’s life innit?
we have to deal with these things

I'm impressed by your DD's problem-solving skills, @Bingoisthebestnotbluey, but you're right that 3 Weetabix is more than enough for any young child. You'd said no, for good reasons, and you're right to stick to that.
I'm surprised that there are so many people who'd think it fine for their DC to be eating Weetabix just before supper. My DC would have very happily eaten Weetabix and plain pasta and nothing else at that age, but our job is at least to try to give them a balanced diet.
I'm not sure I'd have come up with a 'consequence' as there isn't a natural consequence, and I always tried to stick to 'natural consequences'. Losing pocket money isn't a natural consequence of hoiking Weetabix down from a cupboard (or of not doing as you're told). I'd have just told her off and at some point reiterated why too much Weetabix isn't good for her.
I don't like your reference to "losing it", though. That suggests to me that you went ballistic for a pretty minor event. This is worse for a child than too much Weetabix.
I'd put the Weetabix well out of sight if I were you, and would then move on.

There are a lot of people on this thread who have never dealt with a child with chronic constipation, I suspect...

Try dealing with the howls of pain on the toilet, the soiled pants (half a dozen per day, every day, for months or years), the constant movicol and other medicines ... and then maybe you'll understand why someone might overreact to their DC eating too much of the wrong kind of fibre.

So do you just make exactly what everyone in your household wants for every meal? Must be exhausting.

Maybe I'm strict, but unless I say something is free for all (eg fruit is generally free-for all, milk/water/squash, stuff they've been given specifically eg. easter eggs, although ideally not right before dinner), the kids need to ask before they take things from the cupboards, and cereal is just for breakfast (or they would want to eat it all the time, when they should be eating something more nutritious), so I'm with you OP.

Mine didn't get pocket money at that age, but a punishment would more likely be no pudding or something related/appropriate, but they would be given a chance to gain it back with some other extra-good behaviour.

I wouldn't have let her have the fruit just before dinner either. Is she drinking enough water? The combination of constipation and always being hungry suggests she might actually be thirsty.

Such mixed responses 😬

I think I was right in what I did really, thinking about it, but I’m not great at the *Punishment/consequence afterwards, I admit not being sure with this.

With regards to the pocket money situation, I introduced this because she’d seen it on television and wanted to put some in her piggy bank and save up some weeks or spend it on other weeks. She likes having the coins and adding up how much something costs and giving it the shop keeper etc. It was also introduced due to the fact every time we went to the shop she’d ask for something or for chocolate etc and she now quite likes the idea of it being something to look forward to at the weekend.
I did think it was maybe a bit too young, I think I was 7/8 and would get a pound a week 😅but she understands it and enjoys it, not sure if this is wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh, I wouldn't 'go ballistic' though - I would tell them in a no-nonsense tone that this wasn't acceptable, let them know the consequences, and leave it at that. No yelling required. Well, maybe a loud 'NO' if they tried to argue their point for too long (a little negotiation back is to be expected, and who knows perhaps they would have had an argument I would accept. I doubt it, but I'd never say never)

@WonderingWanda She’s not always hungry, this was at a time she’d have a snack, she sometimes doesn’t eat much lunch though and gets hungry later.

Mine is 17, still as headstrong! 😂

I'm surprised by how many parents would give their 4 year old a Weetabix just before dinner AND after they had already eaten 3 for breakfast.

Children need boundaries. This is a great example of why we have so many children entering the education system with behavioural problems.

She tried to knock it out with the sweeping brush?? Brilliant 🤣🤣🤣

Sorry, but I'd just find this funny tbh. And I guess hide the weetabix?