Birth announcement likes.

[Kelly4871]

My friend just announced the birth of her son and got over 300 comments and likes. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter 8 weeks ago now and we only got about 20 likes and comments kind of makes me think people weren't happy for nobody ever likes anything I post photos of me and our kids upsets me why my friend's get some much love and nice comments but we get nothing

Is your friend hugely on social media and have everyone they have ever met as a friend? Some people just have a more active social media presence. It’s not that no one cares, I’m sure you have a lot of love from your real life friends and family. Congratulations on the baby 😘

I would much rather have 20 close friends than 300 acquaintances (surely she can’t be close to that many people). Is she all about the ‘likes’?

I think so yes I'm happy for her she and her partner are good friends to me and my partner. Just stung a little I was thinking why wasn't birth announcement worthy of loads reactions and comments.
Few family did like it but not many and not many friends either I had a clear out for that reason think I'm due another lol.

No she isnt one of them types just seems very popular everything she posts get loafs of likes.

why did you announce the birth?

Its like when i got a Job offer that I accepted i was given a few likes but because she got a criminology degree she got hundreds i was like so me getting a job that earns me money to support my family isnt enough then?? I constantly feel like im thought less of than others never feel enough.

This really gets me down as well. I could post a nice photo of myself and get no Likes for hours. Other people do the same and get over 10 Likes within 5 minutes.

I think it definitely depends on the number of friends you've got. I've got under 100 because I don't add each and every person I meet.

It still stings though. You're not alone. Congratulations!

I thought it was normal to do a birth announcement when my baby's arrived into the world we've always done it.

I'm not sure why this would effect you so much. 20 likes from people who care is fine.
Clearly she has lots of 'followers' who are likely just hitting like out of courteousy or habit. Her followers are likely to be more engaged with their phones than her personally.

I'd be more interested who would respond with a call or a visit when I need support or company.
Comparison is the theif of joy

I really think you need to just not post on social media, how would you feel about an achievement just being for yourself and no one knowing about it? Why is it do you think that you need validation from others?

I don't get either nobody messages or comes to visit to see how I'm feeling or how my family are It's always been that way.

It might be the algorithm. I have some posts appear over and over but other posts from friends, I don’t see at all. If you’re not so active on social media, then your posts tend not to appear so much.

Well, firstly you need to get off social media because if isn’t good for you.

But this?

“because she got a criminology degree she got hundreds i was like so me getting a job that earns me money to support my family isnt enough then”

Degree = usually once in a lifetime, 3 years of personal effort

New job = nice, but happens all the time

The most obvious thing here is maths. How many “friends” (and those inverted commas are important) do each of you have?

You sound churlish though.

Just a boost with some nice words would be nice now and again but I don't get anything.

I think you should turn off the like count on your social media - I did and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health. It stops me comparing myself to others because I can’t see how many likes their posts have, and no one can see how many I have. It’s so hard not to compare yourself to others nowadays with everything online but don’t beat yourself up about it. A lot of this stuff is about peak times of engagement, and the more people who like posts, the more likely others are to see them so it becomes cyclical. Congratulations on your baby! Focus on your baby bubble and ignore how many people are liking your posts, it means nothing.

Unplug from the matrix and engage with reality.

On our deathbeds I doubt we'll be wishing we had more likes on social media.

I’m gonna admit something here, my whole world, universe and more is me, my baby and my husband. I have no one else. No family that I’m close to (I do have family just not near me) and no friends that I see (just a few I speak to via messenger every now and again)… and you know what… I have everything I need. It’s hard to get to this point, but please try to see what you have. Congrats on your new baby, enjoy them, soak it up.

Can I just say it isn't always a personal thing, the algorithms are quite random. Success breeds success, if she gets loads of interactions on her other posts, then the birth announcement will end up on everyone's feed, which of course gets lots of likes and comments, which means her next post gets put out more widely etc. And if she has more friends that can be a factor too (and if those friends are v active on social media, their likes/comments make the post spread wider).

If you've not had much on social media, or what you have posted has only a limited reach, then many of your FB won't have even seen your birth announcement, FB won't know the difference between something big like this and something like "missed my bus today".

I have a lovely friend who rarely posts, but when she does I always like/comment. Then she put up something significant and when no-one liked/commented she got upset, but I hadn't seen it on my feed! I don't understand why it does that, if I friend someone I want to see their posts...

Don’t worry it’s only social media and not relevant.

Welcome to the world to your little girl. Enjoy your beautiful baby girl and congratulations!

Hide the likes so you can't see how many people get and they can't see yours. It's horrible and toxic. But remember, it's not real life!! I don't post anything on SM anymore and it's life changing

This. Also maybe her friends are on fb more. You do realise fb has algorithms right? So it promotes certain people etc in feeds. It's all manipulated so don't get sucked into it.

Measuring your self worth in how many likes you get is toxic and causes lots of damage. It could be an algorithm, it could be that she has more “friends”, at the end of the day it is not something to focus on

Best thing I have ever done was delete Facebook and Instagram. The real world is passing you by while you are checking for likes.

Social media is purely a game of numbers and algorithms and not a reflection on you.

For example, if your friend had more connections on fb then she's going to get more likes and comments than you, if you only have 100 or less.
Likes and comments also "snowball" due to the algorithm showing the post in more feeds which leads to more likes and comments which leads to it showing in more feeds etc etc. Things like time of day and also which day of the week also has an impact on "popularity" of a post.

Do not give it another moment's thought. Congratulations on the birth of your baby x

If you parent or 'life' social media you will be constantly disappointed, life with kids or not is not a competition

I can't beleive this is still needing to be said to anyone over the age of about 16

Don’t people normally announce it when they have a child? I know lots of people with children and almost none of them have kept said children a secret.