Birth announcement likes.

[Kelly4871]

My friend just announced the birth of her son and got over 300 comments and likes. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter 8 weeks ago now and we only got about 20 likes and comments kind of makes me think people weren't happy for nobody ever likes anything I post photos of me and our kids upsets me why my friend's get some much love and nice comments but we get nothing

It's a shame this gets you down as the amount of likes / comments doesn't translate to much in 'real life' imo. But to make you feel better some reasons can be:

• Just stats based eg she has 1000 friends on social media and you have less eg 200 so she may get more than you, but in terms of the amount of friends you respectively have, it's proportionate. More friends / followers = more likes / comments

• she posts more than you and likes and comments more on others peoples posts more too. People tend to reciprocate - so if she's more 'active' than you, she'll show up on more feeds and also get more back and forth with others

• her friends are heavily into social media and your are less so. Eg your friends may reach out through different and more private ways such as a private message.

Stop gauging the value of your existence through social media ffs.

It seems very sad that you're comparing social media engagement on your posts vs a friends. It isn't important.

It is worth considering that she may have tagged her partner and/or family in the post too - which FB loves as it obviously increases the potential audience significantly.

You won't be thinking about how many likes you got on your death bed. Try not to give these insecurities too much of your energy.

Congratulations on your baby

you do sound a little bit lonely and I think SM only emphasizes this sadly,

I do understand I have some posts that get under 10 likes 🙈

but I think you just have to accept some people are more successful’visible’ on social media,

definitely try and connect and plan more with close friends

No disrespect, but try and enjoy the real world more instead of the social media fake world. Who cares about Facebook likes and shit like that. Just enjoy your real life and stop comparing yourself to others.

Yes, I'm so glad it wasn't a thing when I had my dc. I know I would've felt upset too especially remembering some of the erm, 'competitive' people from my antenatal group.
When Facebook etc took off I made it a rule that if I wouldn't happily have a coffee with you then we weren't going to be 'friends' on Facebook.
Comparison is the theft of joy.
Enjoy your little one & try to focus on those people who really care.
You could also mute your friend for a bit, she won't know.

"Measuring your self worth in how many likes you get is toxic and causes lots of damage. It could be an algorithm, it could be that she has more “friends”, at the end of the day it is not something to focus on

Best thing I have ever done was delete Facebook and Instagram. The real world is passing you by while you are checking for likes."

@Womencanlift so true!

Op I'm not on social media at all and there is zero trace of my children on there. There never has been as I deleted it before they were born. It's great, I'd recommend it. Just get rid and be happy. I never worry about 'likes'.

They don't engrave likes on your gravestone, op. Life is too short to care about this shit.

Has she got a criminology based job with that degree? Most people who study that just have an interest in it and doesn't actually lead to a career in 'criminology' Sounds to me she's just very attention seeking, you sound like a much lovelier person. My mum has to like all of my sisters posts as she kicked off when she didn't one time 🙄

Honestly, not being unkind, but if this sort of thing really gets to you or makes you feel insecure I would just come off Facebook.

This underlines everything which is wrong with placing importance on social media. It’s of no importance in reality how many ‘likes’ you get. Enjoy your baby.

Genuinely curious as to what part of ops post moaning about her friend getting more likes on facebook make her sound like a 'much lovelier person'?

It’s a two-way thing. How much effort does she put into engaging with other people on SM, ‘Liking’ their posts and leaving positive comments? I’d wager that it’s more than you do. Try it!

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm being twattish, I'm just being honest here.
I get 100s of likes of stuff, but I'm someone who reaches out to people, I'm someone who tells people I'm proud of them or how much seeing their smile or cat pictures, kids achievements etc have cheered me up.
I cheer on everyone, not to buy likes back because I rarely post now because I have to respond for ages ironically, but I know people are just returning the effort I make.
I try really hard to make SM a positive and kind place, because the world can be fucking grim.

I've probably made myself sound like those cheerful American soccer mom type, which let me assure you, I'm not, but I'm also under no illusion being popular online is because I am nice to everyone.
(Almost everyone 🤣)

I have a few amazing close personal friends but online acquaintances, no family which is why I've created a little online world for myself, I suspect.

Anyway OP, many many congratulations on your beautiful baby and your wonderful achievements, you're fucking smashing life and as they say on here, comparison is the thief of joy. 💐💐💐

Things are going well for you, please enjoy that ♥️

But wasn’t putting an announcement in the paper just a primitive form of social media? Both are about sharing personal news, and both are an invitation to interact.

Agree with this

Exactly what I was going to say. This thread just highlights how damaging social media can be. It's very effective at inviting us to compare ourselves to others (usually unfavourably) and to seek validation purely based on how many other people have clicked a button to indicate approval at something we've posted (usually worded explicitly to invite others to validate us!) I work in mental health, there's good reasoning behind my decision to never put anything to do with my kids on social media and eventually deleting my Facebook account. So much happier since then!

I think you should come off social media if you are letting the number of likes you are getting vs a friend make you feel down and put a damper on the arrival of your baby. That's really quite sad and, in the kindest way, you really need to get some perspective on what is important.

I bless being to old for social media! We used the ripple effect, tell parents then let it go from there! I can't imagine a life where I tot up 'likes' etc in the ether, we only had real friends.
How many of the problems that find their way onto this site are founded in the obsession with social media?

This is why I ditched facebook! Comparing myself to others would get me down and make me feel inadequate. Much happier now!!

I think it's weird to count likes. I used to like everything, it was pointless and just took up my time. Now I really like and don't post much of anything anymore. It's very freeing.

It's like people who count birthday wishes 🙄 it's pointless.

Please - get off social media, it’s not doing you any good.
stop comparing yourself to others and linking likes to your own worth.

You got a baby. Hooray! Congratulations Now come off social media, it’s not good for you.

Is this another troll!!??? Listen to yourself, wanting attention via your child and likes on social media. So sad 😭