Birth announcement likes.

[Kelly4871]

My friend just announced the birth of her son and got over 300 comments and likes. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter 8 weeks ago now and we only got about 20 likes and comments kind of makes me think people weren't happy for nobody ever likes anything I post photos of me and our kids upsets me why my friend's get some much love and nice comments but we get nothing

Honestly, I won't pretend this wouldn't bother me too.

But the reality is that Facebook algorithms mean that many, many more people will have been shown her post.

The real life love is so much more important. Congratulations on your lovely baby.

That's what human beings do. I bet you could go to societies all over the world, uncontacted groups of people, colonies on Mars originated by orphaned infants raised by robots and completely unaffected by any historic contact with another human culture, and there would be some common way of introducing the society to this new person, either immediately or once it was known the child would survive.

With a new baby surely you’ve got more pressing issues than social media likes.
It’s all a bit immature really.

I got married over 10 years ago and there is a picture of me in my wedding dress ready to go to the church. Its such a lovely picture (if I say so myself!) on one of the most important days of my life and it got fewer likes than my friends' photos of them in a taxi going to a nightclub around the same time 😀 I came off social media when I realised how weird the whole thing was. Don't take it personally.

why not just come off SM for a limited period - say a month, and see if it improves your mood?
If it does, either stay off, or re-evaluate how you use it.

Hello, I think you need to take a break from SM. You were worried about your boyfriend's videos and now insecurity here. Pleaae focus on your baby and yourself x

You would be happier to remember that life is not a competition for who is more popular.
Try not to focus on her but thank your own lovely friends who liked your announcement.
You could send them all a private message to meet in a park for a play and a meet the baby afternoon. A couple might be free and really love to spend time with your new one and you.
The park will be a pleasant afternoon if no one shows too.

What’s your persona like on social media, OP?

The person on my FB who gets masses of likes and comments is very, very prolific (several times a day), and is very upbeat, and living her best life.

I happen to know things are somewhat different behind closed doors, but that’s not the point. She posts happy, upbeat, joie de vivre type posts, which is presumably why lots of people engage.

Her sister is my best friend, and she doesn’t get anywhere near the likes and comments that her sister gets. But you can see why. My BF’s posts are a few words, often not massively exciting, and just don’t get people going, clearly! Luckily it doesn’t bother my BF at all - she’s not in it for the likes.

This is just a long-winded way of saying that posting style definitely engages (or not) people.

I think you should come off social media. Best thing I ever did!

user1492757084 · Today 03:25
You would be happier to remember that life is not a competition for who is more popular.
Try not to focus on her but thank your own lovely friends who liked your announcement.
You could send them all a private message to meet in a park for a play and a meet the baby afternoon. A couple might be free and really love to spend time with your new one and you.
The park will be a pleasant afternoon if no one shows too.

Great idea from poster above
even if the weather’s not great, you could always try a catch up indoors for coffee. When we show appreciation for the people we have in our lives who care, it makes us feel good too. Hormones are changing after birth and no doubt you are sleep deprived, which can sometimes lead to focusing more on the negative and feeling sad. Do something nice for yourself each day and grab as many naps with baby as you can.

I'm going through a terrible time with nobody else to rant to

You sound like a daft teenager.

Obsessing about how many likes you get on social media is not going to make you feel better

Best to step away and delete your account and focus on your baby

Virtuality is not reality.

You're going to live a very unhappy and unfulfilled life is you’re basing your happiness on how many likes and comments you get on social media.

Stop comparing yourself. There are hundreds of reasons why you got less- and it’s not because you’re any less liked than they are. It’s down to firstly, the type of people - I’m not a ‘liker’ of posts - I appreciate a post when I see it, and I live on social media - but I don’t physically ‘like’ much at all. I just read, appreciate and move on. it’s also down to number of friends, algorithm, timing.

If you’ve just had a new baby and social media rules you like this - I would step away for a short term. It will do nothing but negative for your mental health.

People don’t need to ‘like’ you, to like you.

My sister felt like this a year or so ago. She posted a holiday photo that got very few likes while her friend posted a photo in a coffee shop and got lots. She decided to start being more present on sm - she liked everything her friends ever posted, commented on everything. She now gets lots of likes too and is happier. What I have learnt is that you get out what you put in. Your popular friend will be everyone's guaranteed 'liker and commenter'. People react to her stuff so that she continues reacting to theirs. To me, it sounds exhausting. I don't care what other people are doing and don't expect them to care what I'm doing either. In your shoes, I'd come off sm and send photos to family and close friends only.

Is it her first baby?
It's your third, isn't it?

I hope you are okay. It's a difficult time for women because your hormones are all over the place and your body feels battered, throw in lack of sleep.
Please try not to worry about the post, just remember your little baby loves you more than you anyone else in the world

oh my love don't worry about it.

I just checked for accuracy and my acquaintance on fb gets 50-100 likes every post, and I do sometimes think it must be nice to have lots of friends and family who are interested in your life... she has over 1000 and I have just over 50.
she posts every day at least and I last posted 2 years ago, and that was a memory of 3 more years ago.

also, I went to sign up to an online dating for mums and scrolled back to the start of my phone memory (3 years!) and had 0 photos of myself. if I went missing tomorrow they wouldn't have a photo of what I look like now.They would have one of her from yesterday.

I should probably take a selfie just in case 😅

Congratulations on having a beautiful daughter!

It rather sounds as if your feelings on sm are a symptom of deeper distress rather than a cause.

Do you want to rant to us? What's making this a tough time?

Just enjoy your baby and put down Facebook and the like.

Yes it is so hard.

Are you able to get up and about OP? Would finding a baby group help?

I'd consider talking to your HV they might be able to help with finding a local baby group.

Also have a look at the pandas foundation website - see if theres anything useful for you there. pandasfoundation.org.uk/

Take care OP x

It does sting OP.

PP said it’s your third? Don’t know if they’re guessing but if so, yes, people DGAF about the third. My own sister took 6 weeks to send a little gift when my third was born (by which time the gift didn’t fit). We had about 5 cards. With my eldest we were inundated with flowers etc!

HIGHLY recommend reducing your social media and living in the real world. Is it sooooo much richer.

Social media seems to have a lot of influence on your life. You talk about using it because you want the occasional boost. Your self worth is much more than SM! You are worth more.
FWIW I got no “likes” when DS was born because we didn’t announce that way all the people close to us found out the conventional way (from us!). I understand it’s normal for some people but not in our circles. DH doesn’t have SM at all. And of close family and friends it’s probably about 50% who share on SM.

Is this right? Well ... social media is dumb, you shouldn't care so much, and you should know better. But also less people probably care about a third. Sorry!

Don't rely on other people for a boost