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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Birth announcement likes.

108 replies

Kelly4871 · 06/03/2023 00:43

My friend just announced the birth of her son and got over 300 comments and likes. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter 8 weeks ago now and we only got about 20 likes and comments kind of makes me think people weren't happy for nobody ever likes anything I post photos of me and our kids upsets me why my friend's get some much love and nice comments but we get nothing

OP posts:
whatadayforadaydream · 06/03/2023 13:15

OP, social media is not where you get support. Stop focusing on that. If you are going through a tough time reach out to the people who genuinely care about you and your family.

SnackSizeRaisin · 06/03/2023 13:17

Kelly4871 · 06/03/2023 00:59

I thought it was normal to do a birth announcement when my baby's arrived into the world we've always done it.

Is it her first but your second or more? There's usually more interest in a first baby.

Do you usually visit friends and ask how they are and respond to their posts with positive comments? People usually respond in kind. You do sound a bit negative and jealous, maybe people pick up on that vibe and are put off.

But really I would just get off social media and start putting the effort in with real people - much more rewarding

steff13 · 06/03/2023 13:23

SnackSizeRaisin · 06/03/2023 13:17

Is it her first but your second or more? There's usually more interest in a first baby.

Do you usually visit friends and ask how they are and respond to their posts with positive comments? People usually respond in kind. You do sound a bit negative and jealous, maybe people pick up on that vibe and are put off.

But really I would just get off social media and start putting the effort in with real people - much more rewarding

On her other thread she said it was her third.

BubziOwl · 06/03/2023 13:48

Do you post a lot, OP? I find that the algorithm favours people who don't post often. This is usually because if you see someone come up on your feed who rarely posts, you might think "ooh what's this?" and have a look. Given said person posts I frequently, it's likely what they do post is quite newsworthy and more likely to get interactions. Then when they next post again, the algorithm pushed their post because of the interaction it got last time.

On the other hand, if someone posts stuff all the time it can make the algorithm work against you. If you regularly post day-to-day mundane stuff, most people are probably likely to scroll past without interacting. Then the algorithm stops pushing your posts because it thinks they are not engaging to users. Then when you actually post something interesting, no one sees it because the algorithm has assumed it will not engage users.

The fact that you're posting about a new job makes me think maybe you post quite a lot? I don't think most people would post about something like that, the bar of "newsworthy" is usually a fair bit higher (of course it's great you got a new job, well done you!).

The answer is to stop caring about likes. It's honestly so irrelevant and meaningless. I don't ever post life events or news online because I just view that stuff as private and share the news individually with people I care about. I only ever post nice photos from walks etc, and despite having quite a few friends on fb (all people I genuinely know, in fairness), I only get a handful of people who interact. But that's okay, because I'm just posting photos because I think they're nice and I like sharing them with the small amount of people who care about them Smile it's not a reflection on how much people like or care about me, it's just a reflection of what they use social media for.

QueefQueen80s · 06/03/2023 16:24

The only people I know who get those amount of likes, are people who have added 1000s of randomers.
My friends list is all people I know and I prefer the genuine likes from people who care about me.

JimHensonWasAGenius · 06/03/2023 16:33

How utterly sad that you measure your self worth in this way OP😢

KarmaStar · 06/03/2023 16:38

It's all fake!most of those people posting don't give a flying fcuk about the baby.
Don't be taken in it will just make you insecure and knock your self esteem.
Stick to your genuine family and friends who genuinely care about you.the rest don't matter.
Enjoy your beautiful baby daughter💐

Wtf2023 · 06/03/2023 16:45

you could do worse than cutting the toxic crap out of your life. It’s very freeing having no social media presence. Focus on yourself and your lovely family x

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