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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed at this?

40 replies

Silvannah · 10/02/2008 19:23

DD is doing a kind of family tree thing at School & she has to take phots of Mummy, Daddy, Granny etc to School.

She has asked me for a photo of me and DH when we were babies. DH asked his mum for a photo & she (his mum) digs out one photo album after another. so far so good.

I ask my parents for a baby photo of me and they do not have ONE photo. They have loads of my sister. Their excuse is, because I was child number 3, they were too busy to take photos , and then had the nerve to say that "they kinda lost interest" by the time I came along. I am fuming. My father then says "Oh, there maybe one or two pics of you on slide" WTF, what good is that? DD is upset she only has pics of her daddy as a baby and not mummy .

Am I overeacting? I feel so angry?

OP posts:
McDreamy · 10/02/2008 19:24

Aww I would feel pretty upset too!

jasper · 10/02/2008 19:25

I would be pissed off at the school for asking for photos ( too much hassle!) but not at your parents !

quint · 10/02/2008 19:26

I would be upset too, but you do tend to less with subsequent children and I'm sure that it isn't a refection on how much they love you - then as a baby and now

Original poster
Silvannah · 10/02/2008 19:27

jasper - Why not at my parents? Wouldn't you be a tad upset if your parents didn't have ONE baby photo of you?

OP posts:
ScruffyTeddy · 10/02/2008 19:27

Not unreasonable. But neither of my parents have any pictures of me. Not on display, no baby photos, nothing.

Dad has plenty of his other two kids though.

Onlyaphase · 10/02/2008 19:28

Er, my family is exactly the same, not one photo of me as a baby or toddler. And I am third child too.

I'm not saying that you are overreacting as you are obviously upset by this, but IMO not worth getting angry about.

BroccoliSpears · 10/02/2008 19:28

I think it's quite usual. There are hundreds of pics of me (first born) and about 3 of my brother (second born). It's not because they didn't love him every bit as much.

Original poster
Silvannah · 10/02/2008 19:29

Does that upset you a bit ScruffyTeddy? I would be but I am a sensitive soul .

OP posts:
Weegle · 10/02/2008 19:29

I understand how you feel - I'm number 2 and there isn't a single photo of me until I was a few months old and then it's me and my sister. Irks me too but not worth losing sleep over, I just vow not to be the same with my number 2. I know people say that but I seriously intend to have the same photographic and video record of any subsequent children as my first, baby book records etc - my parent's didn't keep a single thing from my childhood.

pukkapatch · 10/02/2008 19:30

yabu
as child no 3, that is what happens.
child no 5 or 6 is actually better off, as they have child no 1 to baby them. child no3 has teh worst of all possibles. particularly if they are the same sex as theolder two.

ruddynorah · 10/02/2008 19:30

same here. my baby book is full of snaps, details, anecdotes, lists of who attended every birthday party up to age 5, every illness ache and pain. my little sister's book has the first page filled in and that's it. no snaps, no gift lists, not even a lock of hair.

Original poster
Silvannah · 10/02/2008 19:32

Its sad though isn't it? I mean, we should treat our kids the same whether they were firstborn or child number 5.

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 10/02/2008 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jellies · 10/02/2008 19:33

Having just had baby no 3 I find I really have to make an effort to remember to take pics of him.. I know for my parent they didn't have the money for film and developing so there are very few pics of the middle children!

CoteDAzur · 10/02/2008 19:35

YANBU. I am surprised you realized this just now, though. You never asked before to see your photos from when you were a baby?

Original poster
Silvannah · 10/02/2008 19:36

TMMJ its not a case of "just get over it" i personally feel no matter how busy we are as parents, how rich or poor we are, there is no excuses to take a quick photo of ALL our kids. There were cameras around 30 years ago and my parents werent poor.

OP posts:
pukkapatch · 10/02/2008 19:36

in theory, yes we should. in practice it isnt possible

ScruffyTeddy · 10/02/2008 19:37

It does silvannah. But then dad's behaviour since then has mainly contributed to it. I dont think the photos are really the issue!

I am a sentimental soul though and I know know many people arent....heck...I still have my pg test from ds (eww).

Original poster
Silvannah · 10/02/2008 19:38

CoteDAzure - yes i did ask several times to see photos of me as a baby and I always got the same reply "they are on slide somewhere, we will dig them out one day" - that never happened.

OP posts:
jellies · 10/02/2008 19:40

I totally agree with you while there are few there are pics of all six of us at different developmental stages, and its nice to be able to compair how we looked as babies to our children, YANBU.
I would be totally upset and pissed off

OverMyDeadBody · 10/02/2008 19:40

Photos aren't that important though in the grand scheme of life are they?

ScruffyTeddy · 10/02/2008 19:42

not really omdb, but I love taking photos of my kids.

SugarSkyHigh · 10/02/2008 19:53

a shame, Silvannah!
did you know that you can take a slide into Boots and get a prints from it? I did that for some baby pics of myself (however this was a while back now...... but surely they still do it)!
why not ask your father for the slide and organise a print or two for your DD.

Original poster
Silvannah · 10/02/2008 19:56

Thanks SugarSkyHigh - no I didn't realise I could take the slides to boots. I am not feeling too hopeful they have many baby photos of me on slide though.

Thanks.

OP posts:
Sycamoretree · 10/02/2008 20:00

It's horrible, but in some ways understandable. I panic every day that I haven't taken enough or as many pics/vid clips of DC 2 as DC1 - cos I'm just so busy running around after them both that getting through the day is all that's on my mind. With 3, it's probably even harder. But yes, I would be upset and I don't think YABU, but it doesn't mean they don't love you just as much as your siblings.