Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report online harassment to this woman's employer

132 replies

Feelingharassed · 02/03/2023 20:49

I am being harassed online by a woman I do not know. She sends me vile messages because she thinks I am in a relationship with her ex husband. I am not. I've blocked her but she is very sneaky & still messages me. She works in a school & im thinking of reporting this harassment to her employer? I think I would want to know if an employee in my child's school was involved in something like this. Or AIBU?

OP posts:
MySugarBabyLove · 03/03/2023 07:33

What is your relationship to this woman’s husband?

The harassment sounds nasty, and not justified at the level the OP says it’s happening, but I do wonder what the other side of this story is.

DedicatedFollowerOfFashion84 · 03/03/2023 07:35

Of the police are involved then they’ll deal with it and inform any relevant persons. Contacting her employer wouldn’t look good for you, it could also be seen as harassment.

user1492757084 · 03/03/2023 08:06

Go to Police. You needn't behave anything like the unlikeable woman to get a result.

trams · 03/03/2023 08:13

I would avoid reporting it to the school as it might escalate things further. Do you have any connection at all to her or her ex husband? Is there a possibility she knows where you live? I think it's best for the police to handle it.

Daffodilsandbeer · 03/03/2023 08:20

I’d urge you not to escalate it op. She’s clearly got issues and if his escalate to her employer there is no end to what she could do next. Leave it with the police.

LemonTT · 03/03/2023 08:24

trams · 03/03/2023 08:13

I would avoid reporting it to the school as it might escalate things further. Do you have any connection at all to her or her ex husband? Is there a possibility she knows where you live? I think it's best for the police to handle it.

This Do you want an unemployed^ unstable person harassing you?

All this will achieve is that she becomes more bitter and has more time. If she is sacked.

Never interact with these people. It’s what they want.

NewCarOldCar · 03/03/2023 08:25

Feelingharassed · 03/03/2023 02:34

What do you mean?

Show quote history

An MN thing when everyone is saying the same thing and you have already done it.

In your case it is because so many are saying "contact the police" which you have stated you have already done

ItsShiela · 03/03/2023 08:31

YANBU she is breaching the school's online communications/social media policy. I would absolutely contact the school. After all she is the one doing this while broadcasting her employer. She brought this on herself.

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 03/03/2023 08:42

Next time she contacts you tell her if she does it again you will be contacting her employer. It might be enough to make her stop

drpet49 · 03/03/2023 08:43

lauraloulou1 · 02/03/2023 22:53

I would go for it. She shouldn't be harassing you and like others have said if a male school employee was doing it was doing it consequences would have occurred by now. Sounds like a mental health crisis - but that's not your responsibility. Flagging it to her work will force her to get some proper support. She may be doing this to multiple people / trolling others online. As a victim of trolling myself I would say do it. Do as much as you can to protect yourself. And get her to back the funk off. Good luck.

This

SoupDragon · 03/03/2023 08:47

Leave it to the police.

contacting her school isn't going to stop her harassing you, as others have said it will just antagonise her further.

MoroccanRoseHChurch · 03/03/2023 08:49

Is she doing it during working hours?

Poscapen · 03/03/2023 08:58

As you've already got the police involved I would say just keep the emails etc and send them on to them every few days.
She will be in breach of the school internet use policy and would be disciplined I'm sure, but I'd leave it with the police to deal with. You need to keep in touch with them so encourage them to get on with this.

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 03/03/2023 09:01

Save everything. I would have said if she is using her employer's email system then you should tell her employer (telling her employer if not would be wrong), however because the police are involved I wouldn't as it might muddy the waters.

Untitledsquatboulder · 03/03/2023 09:03

DedicatedFollowerOfFashion84 · 03/03/2023 07:35

Of the police are involved then they’ll deal with it and inform any relevant persons. Contacting her employer wouldn’t look good for you, it could also be seen as harassment.

Bullshit it could. If she's using a work account to harass the OP then informing her employer is a totally legitimate next step.

You could leave it to the police OP but how quickly they may act is another matter. I'd think that, unless she moves from virtual harassment to in person harassment it will be a low priority case.

RainbowBrightside · 03/03/2023 09:10

YABU. The school will just think it’s a petty squabble. This is massive in your world but of absolutely no interest to them.

LemonTT · 03/03/2023 09:11

Untitledsquatboulder · 03/03/2023 09:03

Bullshit it could. If she's using a work account to harass the OP then informing her employer is a totally legitimate next step.

You could leave it to the police OP but how quickly they may act is another matter. I'd think that, unless she moves from virtual harassment to in person harassment it will be a low priority case.

Show quote history

She isn’t using work accounts. The OP has said she mentions her place of employment on her Facebook page.

The OP should not interact in any way with this person. Let the police warn her off.

Princetongirl · 03/03/2023 09:15

What are the police doing?

Toffeeappler · 03/03/2023 09:15

Do you know her ex husband or is it a case of completely mistaken identity?

I think I would just reply again to say that she has the wrong idea/wrong person, that you are keeping screenshots of all her messages and will use them to pursue criminal charges /legal action to stop her harassment of you unless she stops immediately.

Emotionalsupportviper · 03/03/2023 09:19

Feelingharassed · 03/03/2023 02:34

What do you mean?

Show quote history

Take no notice.

It's just an MN trope, like "LTB" and "cutted up pear" etc Means nothing.

Sugargliderwombat · 03/03/2023 09:26

I would notify them. New rules have been introduced about social media use.

Ceryneianhind · 03/03/2023 09:28

rwalker · 02/03/2023 20:52

Reporting her to her employer make you as bad as her
You need to report it to the police

How do you work that one out???

lazycats · 03/03/2023 09:29

Sure, why not. If she's that bad and stupid enough to make those details public then go for it.

Emotionalsupportviper · 03/03/2023 09:38

I wouldn't contact the employer - leave it to the police.

As others have said, her behaviour may escalate if you do, and particularly if sh ends up being formally reprimanded/dismissed.

It must be horrendous for you - are you able to change your phone number/ e-mail etc, or get another (cheap) phone to contact friends and transfer your present number onto it? That way you could leave that for her batsh*ttery and only access it when you needed to check if she was still trying to harass you, and give any details to the police.

I know you shouldn't have to do anything like this, but people like her become obsessed and they have a damn sight more energy than their victims do.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 03/03/2023 09:39

Lostinalibrary · 02/03/2023 20:52

You could be in as much trouble as her if you do that. Nothing has been proven, this would be treated as harassment.

Absolute nonsense. The messages are the proof! The idea that this would constitute “harassment” is ridiculous.

Swipe left for the next trending thread