To buy a house with my boyfriend of one year?

[Cicchetti]

That's it, really.

We are both in our 40s. He's super kind and stable, no red flags. This is the best relationship I have ever had.

We are worried about being priced out of our area if we don't buy soon, as prices for family homes continue inexorably to rise, regardless of inflation or interest rate hikes.

We would go in totally 50/50 and I would make legal arrangements so my daughter would inherit my share if the worst were to happen.

Is it too soon? Is there something I am missing?

I think you would be out of your mind to buy a house with someone you've never lived with before.

Rent somewhere together and rent out your own properties.

Don’t buy somewhere together unless you know he won’t piss you off

No-one is going to sell 2 properties and rent another. When you meet someone later in life and both own there’s not much you can do but give it a go together. Unless one is prepared to sell their house and move into one. The worse that could happen is it could cost you financially if goes wrong, and a lot of hassle.

I don't think it's that crazy an idea. It wasn't all that long ago that people wouldn't move in together until they were married, and they'd have bought a house to move in to.

I would make sure you have lengthy discussions about what would happen in the event of a breakup. You should both take independent legal advice and make sure you both have an exit plan. For example, say you buy a house and move in, but then it isn't working for him and he leaves. Do you sell the house? How does he extract his equity? Can you afford to buy him out? Will you be putting in equal equity and meeting the mortgage equally? Could you service the mortgage on one wage?

If you can cover all bases should the relationship end and you know what you will do then you'll have set yourself up pretty well.

There’s no need to sell them, they can be rented out.

Most people aren't so rich that they can afford to buy another property without first selling their current one.

I bought a house with my DP of 7 months, having never lived together. We married soon after and are still together over 20 years later.
All these posters saying you have to live together first - there's more than one way of doing things. Just because it wasn't your way doesn't mean it's wrong.

As long as you are prepared to move out and are legally covered then yes go for it.

Rent out the two houses to other people and rent another one together.

No one is on the other’s turf and if things go tits up it’s less hard to resolve.

Wouldn't be me.

A friend bought a house last year with a woman he has only been in a relationship with since 2021. It's not even been a year and he's as miserable as sin. Much easier to dispense with a property in a split that figuring out what to do with children, but still, it's a huge commitment and IMO you'd be daft to do it with someone you barely know.

How much time have you actually spent with him over a year if you have a six year old? I’d say you barely know him, especially as you’ve never lived together.

@Hintofreality We are able to see a lot of each other due to where we live and our schedules. He spends the night at least 4/7 days of the week. We also have gone on several trips together, including flying a very long distance with my child to see my family for 2 weeks over Christmas.

If the house prices are still rising, then your house price will be rising too. Get him to rent his house out for a year and move in with you for that year first. Then sell up and buy together.

No. Even based on you asking. Legally binding yourself to a romantic partner is often disastrous.

You aren't sure. You need to be sure.

You need to live with someone to truly know them.

Don't buy tie yourself legally to someone you don't truly know.

Why do you think you’ll be priced out when all the experts say house prices will go down? It doesn’t make sense.

The safety security and happiness of your child should be the first priority not house prices. Will a change in house mean a change in school, ability to see her dad?

I think it’s too soon and the reason is not sound. I wouldn’t do it

Nonsense. I got legally married before starting to live together.

I had my own flat but it was a bit small, we decided to rent somewhere together, I had a very small mortgage left on the flat so it was ok to have two properties for a short period of time. I wouldn’t be buying a house of otherwise tying myself financially to anyone unless marriage was on the cards. In your case OP, it seems far too soon.

@OriGanOver that entails a lot of risk. He also refuses to rent his house for various reasons (doesn't want it to be trashed by tenants, doesn't want to end up with a delinquent tenant whom he can't evict, etc). I don't blame him.

@Rainbowqueeen our area is seemingly insulated from these market forces. The point of the house move is to stay here, but in a better house, to avoid disruption.

We also would be closer to her school if we can buy where I have in mind (same area, pricier roads)

Did you also start a thread asking if it was too soon? She’s asked the question, I answered. Your circumstances may have been different to the OPs.

Why does it involve a lot of risk compared to buying a house together?

I think the latter is far riskier

I think he's having you over OP. Why is he happy for you to risk your childs stability rather than take a small risk of renting it out for a year with insurance to cover any damages. Lot's of people rent houses out. Lot's of people Don't buy a house with someone they have only known for a year especially when they have a child to consider.

It's not the fact that he's been your boyfriend for a year that's the issue really. It's the fact that you've never lived together before, and that you have a child who you need to consider too.

Absolute madness!! You are not thinking of your child, only yourself. You hardly know him and if it was just you it would be different, but you have a small child. Put her first and think about how awful it would be if you don't work as well in a living situation, the impact on her will be massive.

@LittleBearPad we know what is within reach now (and most local houses are already out of reach). We would have to assume that our houses would increase in value at a similar or greater rate than the pricier ones. His property is also lower in value than mine and he has fewer assets. We are going 50/50, so this could mean that nice local properties become sincerely unaffordable.