to expect something for Mothering Sunday?

[WindUpPenguin]

Currently pregnant with my first child, due in August. DH's siblings have been texting planning gifts for his mum for Mothers' Day. I said, "Oooh, you'll have to get me some chocolates or something this year too!" He looked at me like I had three heads and I felt a bit silly and spoilt for suggesting it. Is it weird to expect a token gift/card on Mothering Sunday when you're a mum-to-be?

You DO know you can buy chocolates if you want them, right?

Well that's me told! Fair enough.

And to the poster who thought I said this to his whole family, of course I did not. The point about his siblings texting was just to set the context for the conversation between me and DH and nobody else.

YABU - maybe a token box of chocolates next year when you are actually a mother but i would never actually expect anything. My kids are 8 & 12 my husband takes them to the shops, my oldest now contributes herself & they chose me a small thing like bath bombs or my favourite chocolates & they make me cards & do breakfast in bed etc but as they get older i don’t think there will be as big a deal made and thats fair its a commercialised day. Also, i would never hint or ask for anything regardless of their age & i certainly wouldn’t have before they were even born!

YABU - maybe a token box of chocolates next year when you are actually a mother

Such a thoughtless dickish comment. She is a mother already. Yes it’s not time for Mother’s Day presents yet, but no matter what happens in this pregnancy you ARE a mum OP.

Have you actually read any of the comments from women saying they've lost their babies before they were born but still consider themselves to be their mum? What a horrible comment. You don't get to decide who is a mum and who isn't.

My mum got me a huge bunch of flowers for Mothers Day last year at 5 months pregnant. It made me so anxious, you don’t celebrate a baby until they are shrieking in your arms.

This was to celebrate YOU not the baby. You were a mother regardless.

You can ask for something, but you also shouldn't be surprised if others weren't prepared for that request.

there's a reason they call it 'mum TO BE'. Future mother. Better luck next year.

Exactly this!

There seems to be a couple of things going on in this thread. 1) Is Mother’s Day a ‘thing’ if you’re pregnant and 2) are you still a mother if your unborn child died. I would say yes of course if your child died, to say otherwise would be horrible and insensitive. But I don’t think being pregnant (without any traumas involved) means expecting (or wanting) a card etc.

I think I’m in the minority here but this is all coming across really harsh. OP is pregnant and I feel all this heat on a pregnant woman is awful.

I don’t think this is weird at all and I would have been really upset if my partner had looked at me like that. You are absolutely a mother and a token is a lovely idea. All these comments were an uncomfortable read for me personally so thought I would say.

I have a little one but I wasn’t pregnant on Mother’s Day but I’m sure my partner would have got me something to be honest and he certainly wouldn’t have looked at me like I was nuts if I had said what you said.

every woman who is pregnant or has been pregnant is a mum and deserves to be treated as such if that’s how they feel ❤️

This

I’ll be 9 months pregnant and won’t be expecting anything. It feels weird when she isn’t safely here yet.

I’ve got two toddlers and never got anything whilst pregnant. I wouldn’t have expected it tbh.

Not this year OP.

Oh don’t be ridiculous. Let’s abolish Christmas, because it’s an emotional time for a lot of people. Let’s abolish Easter, because diabetics can’t enjoy the chocolate. Why should other people miss out on the fun? I say this as someone whose mum left when I was a teen and I’ve seen her a handful of times since and not at all for 5 years 🤷🏼‍♀️

I totally disagree with those saying you are not a mother yet. You became a parent as soon as the conception happened
Eh? Of course not

I think that's a pretty reasonable position! I found it a bit odd when DH got me a card from baby DC before either of them were able to understand it or make any kind of mark themselves. I was nice about it but it did throw me a bit.

Good thing DC1 was born in February so Mother's Day came for us before Father's Day. Wouldn’t have crossed my mind to get DH a FD card from the baby if he hadn't got me a MD one

When do you become a mother then?

Oh no, here we go again. Upset mothers who experienced loss feel like others are telling them they shouldn't celebrate Mother's Day etc. It's only internet forum, some things shouldn't be taken too seriously.

I have to say it's when your kids can actually make you something themselves is when it actually counts. I mean if you want your husband to buy you some chocolates and pretend an unborn baby bought them, fine if you enjoy that sort of thing, personally I'd think my husband was bonkers if he wrote me a card from our unborn baby.

That's not what's happening. It's the fact that people are saying they aren't mothers which is upsetting.

No, that’s not happened at all. Mothers have been upset that others have told them they are not mothers because their baby didn’t make it.

Awww, OP, you’re getting a hard time here.

If course you feel emotional and sentimental about being a Mum when pg with your first.

Possibly a bit much to be telling your DP to be getting you anything. A moment of ‘next year we’ll have a little one to celebrate Mother’s Day with’ is more like it.