Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect something for Mothering Sunday?

157 replies

WindUpPenguin · 02/03/2023 13:37

Currently pregnant with my first child, due in August. DH's siblings have been texting planning gifts for his mum for Mothers' Day. I said, "Oooh, you'll have to get me some chocolates or something this year too!" He looked at me like I had three heads and I felt a bit silly and spoilt for suggesting it. Is it weird to expect a token gift/card on Mothering Sunday when you're a mum-to-be?

OP posts:
flowerexpress · 02/03/2023 14:30

I personally think it would be a really thoughtful gesture from your dh. Pregnancy can be a rough ride! x

VioletZe · 02/03/2023 14:42

My baby died before I got the chance to meet her. I still consider myself to be her mum.

From this thread, I guess I am wrong. :(

Anonymous48 · 02/03/2023 14:44

Hopefully you'll get something for Mother's Day when you're actually, you know, a mother. You aren't yet. YABU.

bloodyplanes · 02/03/2023 14:45

ShimmeringShirts · 02/03/2023 14:12

Mothering Sunday is for mothers, not mothers to be. You’ve not done any of the hard work of being a mum yet, why do you feel you should be acknowledged for that?

This

Hankunamatata · 02/03/2023 14:45

I'm with your dh. Wouldn't have occurred for me to get a mother days card while pregnant

kitsuneghost · 02/03/2023 14:47

I'm sure OPs husband can buy her a gift at any time he wishes, mothering Sunday or not.
OP if he doesn't and you want something, then tell him the next week is pregnant Sunday
(I am sure that is all gift companies do anyway - make up days to sell shit)

Pippa12 · 02/03/2023 14:47

Don’t dilute your first Mother’s Day experience by forcing your partner into buying you a box of chocolates she he has absolutely no idea why, enjoy it next year with your little one.

gooseduckchicken · 02/03/2023 14:48

Ignore the fun sponges. A gift would be a nice thing.

blueskies94 · 02/03/2023 14:50

I think this thread is awful, you parent throughout pregnancy by making choices in the best interest of your baby.

I feel awful for the women who have lost babies before they're born who are now being told they're not mothers.

AllWorkYoPlait · 02/03/2023 14:51

Kindly OP, you are being ridiculous.

Admittedly I place zero value on Mother's Day though. And Father's Day. And Valentine's day.

WhyCantYourPartnerDoIt · 02/03/2023 14:52

soleilblue · 02/03/2023 13:51

That first mothers day holding your child is magical. Just wait

This is a bit much ... Even if you felt that way you shouldn't assume everyone feels that a random Sunday in March will be magical.

SerafinasGoose · 02/03/2023 14:53

soleilblue · 02/03/2023 13:51

That first mothers day holding your child is magical. Just wait

My DC was born on Mothering Sunday. Best present I could possibly have imagined!

QuackMooBaaOink · 02/03/2023 14:54

I love mother's day but YABU. Baby isn't born yet.
Enjoy your pregnancy.
Next year, when baby is here, enjoy your first mother's day with your child and by all means then he should be doing something lovely for you! Honestly it's a really special occasion and one worth waiting for.
I do think it's weird to expect even a token gift before the baby has even been born.
I find the whole concept of "from the bump" a bit cringy tbh.

inky1991 · 02/03/2023 14:55

I'm due in April, so to be honest this has crossed my mind about whether my husband would think about something like this for me or not.

It would be extremely thoughtful and sweet if he got me a "mum to be" card or something, but men generally don't think about stuff like this. I won't be disappointed if I get nothing as I'm technically not a mum yet 🤷‍♀️

I'll be a hell of a lot more upset if he doesnt think to get me a card and flowers next year though.

BunnyPlate · 02/03/2023 14:56

blueskies94 · 02/03/2023 14:50

I think this thread is awful, you parent throughout pregnancy by making choices in the best interest of your baby.

I feel awful for the women who have lost babies before they're born who are now being told they're not mothers.

I agree with this. Some of you should think before you comment.

SerafinasGoose · 02/03/2023 14:57

WhyCantYourPartnerDoIt · 02/03/2023 14:52

This is a bit much ... Even if you felt that way you shouldn't assume everyone feels that a random Sunday in March will be magical.

Show quote history

I understand this. DH and I don't bother with Valentine's Day anymore (the point used to be that you didn't know who the card was from)! We don't need one day earmarked for special attention: we know what we mean to each other.

Likewise if DC didn't trouble about Mothering Sunday or Father's Day, I wouldn't be remotely bothered. It's rampant commercialism.

I'd be hurt if they forgot my birthday, though.

DappledThings · 02/03/2023 14:59

I would have looked at you like you had two heads too. Same as I would have looked at DH if he'd suggested getting something for me while I was pregnant.

I don't get any of this pre-birth stuff. MIL and SIL got me a present from the then unborn DC1 at Christmas one year. I was very nice about it but I did find it pretty odd.

WilsonMilson · 02/03/2023 14:59

Get a grip, you’re being ridiculous.

LookItsMeAgain · 02/03/2023 15:00

DorotheaHomeAlone · 02/03/2023 13:47

Next year yes. This year no.

100% this.

Nothing this year.

Next year paint the town red!

Poor bloke.

QuackMooBaaOink · 02/03/2023 15:00

Just to add, I lost 3 children, 2 second trimester and a stillborn. It has nothing to do with "being a mother" or not. But mother's day is a way to show appreciation to your mum for all the bloody hard work (and often lack of appreciation 🤣) that goes into it the other 364 days of the year! Also, it should be appreciation from the child, not from your dh. Whilst I accept that when they are small, that needs to be facilitated by DH, to do it before they are even born defeats the point. But you're pregnant, which can be rough in its own way - so as a PP said, he should be buying you copious amoujts of chocolate regardless of what day it is 🤣

strawberry2017 · 02/03/2023 15:06

Next year is your first Mother's Day. Not this year.

CharlotteRose90 · 02/03/2023 15:07

It depends if you’ve got A decent partner I guess. But will you do the same for Father’s Day this year and get him something . It would be nice to get flowers but I wouldn’t expect it until after the baby is born.

TheOrigRights · 02/03/2023 15:07

I think it would be reasonable to recognise the day when you are pregnant, after all your mind set will very much be looking at Motherhood at the moment, but I wouldn't consider celebrating the day with cards/gifts.

My first Mother's Day as a mother was obviously a lovely day for me, but I also made extra effort with the wording in my card to my own mother for it was only when I became a Mum than I truly understood so much more about her and appreciated her. It was very special.

Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBaby · 02/03/2023 15:11

@VioletZe same here. I still consider my a Mum

Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBaby · 02/03/2023 15:14

ShimmeringShirts · 02/03/2023 14:12

Mothering Sunday is for mothers, not mothers to be. You’ve not done any of the hard work of being a mum yet, why do you feel you should be acknowledged for that?

So for those of us who have lost our Baby's. Do we not deserve to be recognised on Mother's Day just because we 'haven't done any of the hard work!!'

Swipe left for the next trending thread