Upset a staff member in tesco.. feel bad now but was I wrong?

[SpringIsSpringing23]

Last night I popped into tesco. At the checkout, the young lad (can't have been more than 18) was looking at his phone, didn't speak to me, kept chewing his nails and sticking his fingers in his mouth.

When it came to pay he didn't tell me how much. I was getting irritated at this point and just stood there until he looked up and I said you've not told me how much (obviously I could see on the screen). I said "you're too busy playing on your phone, and it's not hygienic to be chewing your nails when you're going to be handling food". I didn't have a go but said it in a firm manner.

He went bright red, muttered sorry and didn't give any eye contact the rest of the transaction. I then realised he had tears running down his face. I said I'm sorry, is everything OK? He ignored me so as I left I explained to the security guard (nobody else around) what happened and he said he'd go talk to him.

I feel absolutely awful that I've upset somebody... but was I wrong to have said something to him?

What bad behaviour?

The op did nothing wrong. No need for the guilt trip.

Yes, he could be stressed & going through a really bad time -family member in hospital, dog at vets, possibly pregnant girlfriend, waiting to see if he'd been accepted for accommodation, who knows.

I doubly a lad of that age would cry if he was just being a dick chatting to mates on line.

Calling him out may just have tipped him over the edge. It may be a turning point in his life, that doesn't mean it's a good one.

@SpringIsSpringing23

I think you spoke to him in a condescending way, in a way you wouldn't have if he'd been 40. You did it because he was young & you felt entitled to.

so YABU. Think about what you'd have done if he was 40 and next time, do that.

then YWU speaking to the security guard about him, again you wouldn't have done so if he was older.

you should have asked the security guard to call a senior member of staff and spoken to them.

If I had an issue with would report it to the supervisor/manager not had a,go at the staff member

I get the phone comment, but the rest I think was rude and necessary

Perhaps but equally, perhaps not. It wouldn't have hurt you to give him the benefit of the doubt but you hurt him and clearly feel you were justified to do so. You just wanted a thread where everyone agreed with you and told you how right you were for making the young lad cry.

YANBU I worked in retail at that age and yes, it was hard. Customers were often rude and entitled. Some days I had other stuff going on which made dealing with customers more difficult. I still was expected to be polite to customers - it was my job. He is 18, not a child and he needs to learn to behave in a professional manner.

When I worked in retail we were very clearly told to focus on the customer and not to talk amongst ourselves in front of customers. All too often staff in shops say nothing to you. They're far more likely to carry on their conversation with their colleague while completely ignoring you. It's bloody rude.

Imagine someone sticking hands in their mouth and then handling YOUR food.
I think sometimes askign people is not bullying, he should have known better.

I doubt you’d have done it if it were a grown man or woman. You infantilised him, treated him like a child. Your behaviour was disproportionate and you made him cry. You know you were nasty or you wouldn’t have posted here.

Ah and there it is. "Kids these days," *badly brought up ".
You're a star and he's an ignorant slob OP, there you go - well done. Still don't understand the point of starting the thread, though, since you're so confident of your superiority.

I had just driven 150 miles on 4 hours sleep with a horrendous cold.

This.

Don't feel bad about it, he shouldn't have been on his phone when serving a customer. If he had stuff going on maybe he should have asked for a break to check his phone. Bad customer service really annoys me, some people just shouldn't be working with the public.

Maybe you're right.

But how you reacted in this situation left you feeling guilty, and it's played on your mind so much that you've come here to talk about it. Was that really a good outcome for either of you?

@Bekindbekind

whst she did wrong was treat him like a naughty school child, instead of an adult tesco staff member

I worked in retail from 16-21 when I was in school/college. This was years ago and customers could be very rude. But polite customer service was expected and exactly the same was expected of me at 16 as from any other employee doing the same job.

Well maybe if he acted like an adult tesco staff member and not a naughty child...

A bully 😂

He wasn't doing his job. She was right to call him out.

Upset or not, he will have learned a lesson and he won't do it again.

For those saying he might have other stuff going on, if he isn't able to perform his job properly because of 'something else going on' he shouldn't be at work.

@PortiasBiscuit

but she didnt politely point it out

We are told every time. I suppose it is part of relating to the customer.
BTW, not everyone can read the little writing on the screen ( my DH who does the paying for example).

Baffling responses that don't really mirror the poll results.
Had the lad not cried would OP still be called rude? It would have been a non-event.
Do not go back to store to apologise. If he his still working next time you shop in there, then self service might be a better bet.

Absolutely. You were probably the straw that broke the camel's back in a shit day. I'd feel awful if I made an employee cry. Shame on you.

Just let it go now, but honestly you could see the numbers on the screen , i can’t think what possessed you to have a right go at some lad.

Oh op don’t beat yourself up. He got a justifiable telling off and it upset him. Kids are so used to people wrapping them up in cotton wool and making everything ‘positive’ these days that they can’t handle the truth. Everything you said was right and it might make him buck his ideas up.

Handling people’s shopping after having fingers in your mouth is disgusting. Ignoring customers and being on his phone was wrong.

My dd21 gets shouted at by entitled thick men all the time in her hospitality job. She comes home traumatised and it’s heartbreaking to see. This is nowhere in that category. He’ll survive and you may have done him a favour as he may be more attentive and do better in his job in future.