Upset a staff member in tesco.. feel bad now but was I wrong?

[SpringIsSpringing23]

Last night I popped into tesco. At the checkout, the young lad (can't have been more than 18) was looking at his phone, didn't speak to me, kept chewing his nails and sticking his fingers in his mouth.

When it came to pay he didn't tell me how much. I was getting irritated at this point and just stood there until he looked up and I said you've not told me how much (obviously I could see on the screen). I said "you're too busy playing on your phone, and it's not hygienic to be chewing your nails when you're going to be handling food". I didn't have a go but said it in a firm manner.

He went bright red, muttered sorry and didn't give any eye contact the rest of the transaction. I then realised he had tears running down his face. I said I'm sorry, is everything OK? He ignored me so as I left I explained to the security guard (nobody else around) what happened and he said he'd go talk to him.

I feel absolutely awful that I've upset somebody... but was I wrong to have said something to him?

@Arou
where should you put the washing up liquid then?! In its own separate bag or something?!

I’d much rather take it up directly than file a formal complaint that could see them disciplined

You’ve not done anything wrong. In many ways, the management are at fault for allowing teen to have his phone on when on the shop floor, and for not teaching him the ropes properly.

If he was looking at his phone due to a family emergency etc, he should have asked to leave the shop floor and not do it in public.

You are a bully. If you can see it on the screen, just pay it! leave people alone, you don't know what is going on in their lives.

Maybe it was your tone?

I had just driven 150 miles on 4 hours sleep with a horrendous cold

to me that’s worse than being a bit rude to someone. You endangered a lot of people’s lives. You drove a long distance when ill on little sleep. He bit his nails and looked at his phone whilst stationary

Is that your argument? 😳

They won't get disciplined. Someone will have a word with them. Disciplinary action will only be taken if there are persistent complaints and a failure to address them by the employee.

By "taking it up directly" you are not helping them improve. You are not their manager. You do not know them. You do not know the reasons why they behaved the way they did. You do not know what affect your confrontation had. Management will remain unaware of any issues and therefore can not offer solutions or strategies for improvement.

Working on a checkout is a form of torture at best without COL crisis. Staff on shop floor are not responsible for increased prices, or out of stock items yet literally every other customer feels the urge have to inflict their outrage on nearest member of staff.
We are very thankful at our store that manned checkouts will soon be a thing of the past, the sooner the better. Better still online shopping only, zero contact with unbearable customers.

I worked in retail for many years I can't imagine that what you said upset him as retail staff get much worse all the time if he was on his phone and biting his nails sound like he was preoccupied with some kind of drama and the tears was reacting to that
He'd probably just had enough not great customer service but we're all human, asking him if he was okay was nice don't worry OP

Interesting.

Don't make assumptions about the rude lad on the checkout but absolutely make as many assumptions as you like about the OP, even go to far as to tell her she's lying why don't you.

I refuse to believe you were "firm but polite". I highly doubt there was anything polite in the way you berated him like a child. I also don't believe for a second that if he was older than you that you'd have said something.
I worked in Asda when I was 19, customers like you also made me cry - mostly out of frustration rather than general upset but the fact still stands. I imagine he was new because you do get a thick skin quite quickly but you were probably shit customer number 100 of the day and tipped him over the edge.

I am also in my 30s and would never speak to a retail worker that way, especially under the guise of "he needs to learn".

You definitely have an air of "service workers are beneath me" about you.

Creepy?! Really? When creepy is used about men it usually means some weirdo ignoring all the empty bus seats to sit next to you and ask where you live and if you have a boyfriend, not someone bursting into tears at work! What a horrible way to describe someone crying!

I had a couple times when I was quite young in retail where I was silent or muttered at customers - because a customer or manager had just been so rude to me that I thought if I opened my mouth I would cry. I take it 17-19 year old women are also creepy when they cry at work?

You know one thing this thread highlights over a lot of things is that we're not really as inclusive as society as we like to think we are.

Posters have commented on how Tesco are well known for employing ND and disabled people - and there's always plenty of people who will say that there are jobs for ND and disabled people out there when the subject is raised especially around claiming benefits.

Yet there's an attitude that it should never affect customer service, that someone who may have MH issues, be ND or any of the other reasons that someone may respond like this in an interaction with a customer, is unacceptable and there's even comments that they shouldn't be on a till, they should be stacking shelves (not that that means customers won't approach you and tell you off if they decide you don't answer fast enough or are deferent enough).

That you can be disabled, or ND or have MH issues as long as you're tucked away from everyone else and no one else has to deal with you, lest it affect your experience buying milk from the supermarket.

At the end of the day OP got her stuff, she told him off because she didn't feel he was deferent enough and got an apology too, yet here people are behaving like he has sacrificed her first born or something.

Some of the attitudes on here are disgusting.

Yes and also as pointed out he is an ADULT. 18 is an adult. Tbf the OP should not be in that position because a Tesco’s supervisor should have been onto him first and saved her doing their job for them.

Yes, to sit saying nothing and just silently crying is creepy and totally inappropriate in a customer facing role. I absolutely hate peoples crying in front of me, I’d have felt deeply uncomfortable with this.

There is nothing creepy about someone crying.

You know fuck all about this male young adult.

I take it you don't have a job doing a caring role.

Yes that is very rude and I experienced it a few times when I worked in a shop. However a customer is allowed to use their phone in a shop whereas the shop staff absolutely should not be unless they are using it for their job.

A few posters have said they are allowed phones so they can check stock which I find very surprising. Surely there is another device they could be given to use? Even so they should not be using it ever on the shop floor for any other reason and, obviously, the cashier was not checking stock was he?

Yes, to sit saying nothing and just silently crying is creepy and totally inappropriate in a customer facing role. I absolutely hate peoples crying in front of me, I’d have felt deeply uncomfortable with this.

What a disgusting thing to say.

We all know conversations ebb and flow, and sometimes threads digress into tangent. But all these WWI references are one hell of a swerve into anachronism.

MN threads seem to make less sense by the day ...

I had a bit of WTF moment reading that comment you are referring to.

YANBU. From what you have said, that definitely would not be enough to make the vast majority of 18 year old men cry. There must have been something else going on for him.

I think it's ok to have an opinion and not voice it (in person!). You could have let it slide rather than embarrass him.

I remember when I was young and in retail, we chatted and had the time of our lives, I loved that job. I wasn't the best worker in terms of giving the best customer service experience (and remember being told off by a customer for talking to my colleague) but that's all part of growing up.

On balance YABU for being so confrontational to a young adult, you could have just grin and bared it. But you it wont be the end of the world for either of you.