Upset a staff member in tesco.. feel bad now but was I wrong?

[SpringIsSpringing23]

Last night I popped into tesco. At the checkout, the young lad (can't have been more than 18) was looking at his phone, didn't speak to me, kept chewing his nails and sticking his fingers in his mouth.

When it came to pay he didn't tell me how much. I was getting irritated at this point and just stood there until he looked up and I said you've not told me how much (obviously I could see on the screen). I said "you're too busy playing on your phone, and it's not hygienic to be chewing your nails when you're going to be handling food". I didn't have a go but said it in a firm manner.

He went bright red, muttered sorry and didn't give any eye contact the rest of the transaction. I then realised he had tears running down his face. I said I'm sorry, is everything OK? He ignored me so as I left I explained to the security guard (nobody else around) what happened and he said he'd go talk to him.

I feel absolutely awful that I've upset somebody... but was I wrong to have said something to him?

Well I doubt humiliation is going to change that, people are decrying customer service and complaining about how shit it is, and how people like the lad in this thread deserve a good 'tongue lashing' as one pp puts it - but it doesn't appear to be changing the situation does it? As people keep complaining it's getting worse not better, despite the increase in customer abuse towards service staff of all descriptions - just about everywhere now has signs up reminding people that abusing someone else is not acceptable - how on earth have we got to a situation where people need reminding not to abuse another person?

You were not being unreasonable at all OP!

don’t know how anyone could think you were tbh!

well done on mentioning to him about having his fingers in his mouth before touching food. It’s gross. I always go to self scan machines in supermarkets now cos I got sick of the cashiers chewing their fingers or picking their ears or blowing their nose or whatever just before touching my stuff - no thanks! Yeah the food is wrapped but I don’t care - it’s still minging! And don’t get me started on when they lick their fingers to open carrier bags, vom

It sounds like you were taking out your bad mood on someone you perceived to be an easy target, I highly doubt you would have spoken this way to a middle aged woman or man, so for that you were unreasonable tbh. Yes it doesn’t sound like great customer service, but he’s a cashier at Tesco, it’s not a Michelin star restaurant, you went too far imo.

Such low standards some people have!

18 is an adult

if he cannot provide a certain level of customer service he shouldn’t be doing the job

end of

You don’t need to do that op! All you did was point out his behaviour to him so that he can correct it.

I think your comment conflates my post and those of others. Your first para, fair enough. I didn't word my comment that well by using the word 'interaction', but I will double down and say that I am offended when someone fails to say hi and acknowledge my presence. It's rude. In the grand scheme of things I do find it greatly upsetting when I am ignored by someone with whom I'm involved in an interaction. Whether I should be or not, I've no idea, but I find it immensely stressful (perhaps because I'm autistic and it goes against the 'rules' I've been taught? I don't know). I'm not 'chatty' and I couldn't care less if the sales assistant comments on the weather or compliments my blouse. Being completely ignored leaves me feeling stressed and anxious.

As for the rest, it's nothing to do with me. I've not called anyone a wet lettuce or a dirty beast.

He is a very young adult though. Just starting out. I wouldn't have said what OP said to him.

Honestly, he sounds like a complete wet wipe. Tears running down his face? What an absolute melt.

What a horrible thing to say.

The thing is as well when we recall such events we want to paint ourselves in a good light. So really, we can’t know the attitude, the tone, the facial expression the OP had on her at the time. You can’t say she didn’t shout or be all guns blazing, you weren’t there so how can you know that for sure?

When I worked for a clothing store I was tiding a clothes table and for the bottom shelf we could sit down to do it as it was easier and quicker than constantly going up and down - a woman slammed her pram as hard as she could into my back instead of just saying excuse me.

I’m sure if she recalled the event, she’d done nothing wrong.

Why would a cashier have to read aloud to someone something they can see for themselves? It's not the 1960s, they're not ringing up the amount on a till that faces only the cashier, then counting out the change in shillings and pence. I don't think I can remember the last time a cashier said the amount aloud to me.

Even if we agree that cashiers should assume all customers are visually impaired and need the amount read aloud to them, the OP isn't, and chose to communicate her unhappiness at this by remaining entirely silent - while simultaneously criticising him for not speaking!

I can't stand it when people glare ominously and expect the other party to guess what the problem is. Either say what the problem is with words so it can be fixed or fuck off and take your telepathy games with you.

@PuddlesPityParty

thats awful and also very different to OP’s scenario!

Fuck him. You were well in order.

Hopefully he's learned a valuable lesson.

Wouldn't resilience equally apply to being able to cope with a poorly paid member of staff not being uber polite to you? And to move on with your day in dignity, rather than stew on it or berate them.

I really, truly can't wrap my mind around people that bothered by not being fawned over by someone on minimum wage. Yes, it would be better for both me and them if they loved their job and thought I was a delight to serve. No, that's not the reality, but I can't bring myself to care that much either way.

"Being told we should put up with" just screams victim mentality, as if you genuinely are being hard done by in some way. It's a whole new level of pettiness and entitlement lol. Psychologically, the only explanation I can think of is that these people are hungry for some – any – form of affirmation and respect in their daily lives, and the only way to get it is from... Minimum wage supermarket staff?!

Do staff in Tesco actually call out the amount you have to pay ? Thinking about it, they usually gesture to the card reader/register device thing and ask at some stage if you’ve a club card. But I don’t think they say, that’ll be xx amount, please.

Different yes, but the attitude towards retail is worker I would say is the same 🤷‍♀️

PortiasBiscuit · Today 07:43

edenhills · Today 07:40

I imagine something else was happening in his life and he wasn't having a good day. You made things worse.

Oh fuck off with this, it’s fine to expect decent customer service, you should not be made to feel guilty when you politely point out that you’re not getting it.
Absolutely this. I work in a supermarket and the number of staff, not just youngsters, who think it's ok to scroll through FB while on the till is appalling. I don't think most of them have a clue what customer service is, everything is an effort for them.
I've been there forever and do point out that phone's aren't allowed on the shop floor. To always offer a bag, open said bag and pack it not just wave it vaguely in their direction. Ii wish I was in a position of authority it pisses me off no end.

@PuddlesPityParty

no its not

op was flagging to him his poor customer service so he can correct. What she said was completely valid. There was good reason for it. Having fingers in his gob and being on his phone is crap customer service, regardless of whatever people on here might say.

that person that shoved their pushchair at your back frankly sounds deranged.

definitely not unreasonable. I’d have called him on it. The phone thing I understand but while your scanning people’s items you don’t chew your fingers and put them in your mouth. That’s absolutely disgusting and unhygienic. Who wants to see that. I’d have moved elsewhere.

@Allgreen

come off it

it’s crap customer service

he needs to do better

end of

Me too!
who wants some randoms spit fingers on your stuff

My niece had a p/t job in a beauty salon and the manager wasn't swearing undying fealty to my niece.

So she cried and phoned her mum. Who promptly came to the rescue and took her home and told the manager that her daughter wasn't coming back.

This kid had never even taken the bus to work. Her Nan and Grandad took her everyday.

I mean...🤦🏻‍♀️

Wow!

I don’t think they have been taught manners. The store they work at shouldn’t have to teach them the obvious and the basics of manners but it seems if they don’t do it, no one else will.

I can still remember my first shop job and the way a woman shouted at me for bagging her shopping wrong like I was thick (I put the washing up liquid in with the bread) - I was in the wrong but I felt so stupid, embarrassed and shit and it’s something I’ve never forgotten! I can also remember being told to smile more all the time by grim men and nasty old women and being called ‘darlin’ and have my name nicknamed without my consent. It’s a managers place to discipline their staff IMO. The way you are treated in retail does make people treat you like a serf attending a master! I feel for him because Tesco is a shit place to work.

I’m not saying you’re a monster but in those kinds of jobs people are just trying to survive - if it’s their first job they might feel hideously uncomfortable and you’re starting to grow up. I am likely too soft though considering the responses here !