Upset a staff member in tesco.. feel bad now but was I wrong?

[SpringIsSpringing23]

Last night I popped into tesco. At the checkout, the young lad (can't have been more than 18) was looking at his phone, didn't speak to me, kept chewing his nails and sticking his fingers in his mouth.

When it came to pay he didn't tell me how much. I was getting irritated at this point and just stood there until he looked up and I said you've not told me how much (obviously I could see on the screen). I said "you're too busy playing on your phone, and it's not hygienic to be chewing your nails when you're going to be handling food". I didn't have a go but said it in a firm manner.

He went bright red, muttered sorry and didn't give any eye contact the rest of the transaction. I then realised he had tears running down his face. I said I'm sorry, is everything OK? He ignored me so as I left I explained to the security guard (nobody else around) what happened and he said he'd go talk to him.

I feel absolutely awful that I've upset somebody... but was I wrong to have said something to him?

Ynbu

You knew how much it was.you just wanted to bully him

I wonder whether OP would have dared talk like this to an employee who was older than her? Or whether she enjoys the feeling of power over a younger person.

You behaved badly

Nope, if you told Tesco management they don't give their staff a 'set of professional standards to adhere to' they'd laugh at you, and rightly so.

Do you appreciate the irony of what you've said here? This young man was totally unprofessional and 90% of the posters here are on his side and being rude to the OP. They are saying that this young man's slack and frankly disgusting behaviour (no, I really don't want his saliva all over my packages because he can't stop chewing his fingers) is perfectly acceptable. Tesco's 'professional' staff standards were being ignored and none of his colleagues or managers thought it was appropriate to point out to him how poorly he was performing.

@frazzledbutcalm I’m so sorry your DD experienced that.

The lack of empathy and the unending entitlement of some people is what’s actually the ‘bad manners’ being harped on about here.

I work in retail and I don't think you were in the wrong, this was bad customer service. If there was a supervisor around I probably would have mentioned it to them instead but as you say, there wasn't. Hopefully he'll get the message that regardless of what's going on in your life you do need to put a 'work front' on.

We can’t tiptoe around everyone all the time can we? Are you never annoyed or irritated at people, probably but I’m guessing you never voice it. Fair enough. To be honest I’m not sure I’d have said anything but I still stand by the fact that robustness and resilience are important skills to have. You are allowed to disagree of course.

Just some thoughts on what has been posted here. If this young man was having a bad day, was stressed etc, it’s not as simple as “he shouldn’t be in work that day”. He may not be able to afford losing a day’s pay (not every gets paid sick leave).

I have encountered customers licking their fingers before counting cash, blowing on notes to separate them, one guy even had a rolled up tenner in his mouth which was handed to me. I said nothing, I certainly didn’t chastise them for their standards of hygiene. If you could see the back of most shops and their stockrooms you wouldn’t be bothered about someone sucking their fingers at a till.

Don’t go back with chocolates, he won’t want to speak to you or see you ever again. Just remember how you feel right now next time you feel your indignation rising at someone who is clearly stressed.

Oh and don’t keep bothering the security guard either. He will be employed by an outside agency not Tesco and probably thinks you’re just another rude customer.

You weren't wrong to say something but the fact you used the term spoke firmly to suggests you saw him as a child and therefore felt you had the right to correct him which makes you unreasonable.

Oh, come on! Half the people here sticking up for his bad service are arguing that at 18 he's a child and shouldn't be expected to have adult skills! You can't have it both ways. I've spoken firmly to people of all ages in my capacity as a client, a manager, a colleague and these days an employer when they fell short of basic job expectations. Speaking firmly to someone means that: no age implications.

So even though it's a work phone and they're work calls, you have to prioritise them over a face-to-face customer?

I work on a checkout. Staff are expected to have the stock app on their phones, so it's perfectly normal for them to have a phone when they're on a till.
I've had to go to work with some horrendous personal stuff going on. I worked on shift knowing l'd had a pet put to sleep a few hours before, and another one would be when l finished work.
My friend has just worked after her mother in law dropped down dead unexpectedly the day before. She said felt she'd be better keeping busy.

I'm in my sixties. I've had abuse and threats while sitting on a checkout. Most people are fine, some are lovely, the odd one is horrendous.
During lockdown, one man actually batted the cardreader at my face for asking him to observe social distancing. Three times, l'd had to ask him.
I'm polite and friendly. It doesn't stop people being rude or abusive.

Chewing his nails is a stress thing. He may just have been messing about on his phone, but he may also have had some personal stuff going on, which l suspect is likely the case - I don't know any young lads of that age who would cry just because a customer was sharp with them.
My ex's daughter was told off for crying at work (retail) when her dad was in hospital, touch and go whether he would make it, after a stroke. She was seventeen and in the middle of her A levels.

Sometimes you want to say something. I have to bite my tongue, a lot, at work.
I tolerate the rudeness because l need my job.
It is all on CCTV, though. And there are supervisors who keep an eye on what's going on.
I appreciate you thought he was rude. But none of us know what people are dealing with while we're at work. Or being customers.

Sounds like he was stressed about something and perhaps shouldn't have been at work that day.

I remember working in a supermarket and crying at work when a customer had a go at me. I was never on my phone at work, but I might have made a mistake or something. Just a young person still figuring things out.

Any idea how you recognise supervisors (if there are any, any more?)

Years ago there were distinct uniforms so you knew. That doesn't seem to happen anymore.

I worked there for years.. he was being rude.

We're supposed to smile, greet the customer, ask if you need help with packing, tell you the price, ask for your clubcard, say goodbye.

Checkout assistants are considered to be the public face of the store image, and should be polite at all times.

Ignoring you, using his phone (Which he shouldn't even have on the shop floor) and biting his nails isn't ok.

Yes you were right to pick him up on his customer service issue, but maybe consider your tone when doing so, you don't need to be rude either.

@SpringIsSpringing23 it's an interesting read browsing only your responses. You've gone from feeling dreadful and wanting to take him chocolate to having a good old go at the kids of today and berating him for being rude and acting like a child. So do you feel dreadful or don't you?

he cold have least acknowledged op-if he was having a bad time he should ask to go on a break not ignore customers

Op, I think your main offence is, you made him cry. Everything was going well up until that point. You can repost this on a different forum and remove the part about him crying and you would get a completely different response.
No matter the situation, in this day and age, no one should be offended, no ones feelings should be hurt, no one should cry. Oh and somehow you should know about everyones mental health issues and state of mind before engaging with them. Peace, love and be kind.

This thread is illuminating both on why we have such terrible customer service in this country and how some people view 18 year olds as basically toddlers who need to be mummied even at work. With a side order of how any behaviour can be excused because you don't know what else is going on in their lives. Well, no, but society rather ceases to function if everyone just abandons any attempt to do their job properly because of their personal life.

This.

If he looked worried and anxious and was checking his phone it suggests to me a family member were likely ill and relieved some bad news. You sound pretty mean poor lad. He's still a human being.

People keep talking about "customer service in this country" – have you looked at customer service wages in this country? In countries famed for good customer service, the hospitality and service industry is treated as legitimate(!) rather than scorned as a working class profession, and is actually paid decently.

At the shit wages service staff are paid in this country, I really don't expect anything but the bare minimum of service (i.e. scan my groceries). You get what you pay for, it's not a charity and you're not owed anything. What a frankly entitled mindset. If you want to be coddled or fawned over, shop somewhere they pay service staff decently eg Waitrose.

Do posters really think the anxious and particularly neurodiverse teenagers would have fought in WWI?

Who on earth do you think formed the bulk of the numbers executed for cowardice?

They were killing young Autistic men.

And for those who weren't murdered by the State, they would have been amongst the vast numbers of shell shock casualties. If they didn't get killed by the other side, that is.

I suspect people who are outraged by ‘customer service in this country’ are the same ones who equate good customer service with deference. The poorly paid should smile and be grateful for the patronage of their superiors, who are perfectly within their rights to chide.

And?