Upset a staff member in tesco.. feel bad now but was I wrong?

[SpringIsSpringing23]

Last night I popped into tesco. At the checkout, the young lad (can't have been more than 18) was looking at his phone, didn't speak to me, kept chewing his nails and sticking his fingers in his mouth.

When it came to pay he didn't tell me how much. I was getting irritated at this point and just stood there until he looked up and I said you've not told me how much (obviously I could see on the screen). I said "you're too busy playing on your phone, and it's not hygienic to be chewing your nails when you're going to be handling food". I didn't have a go but said it in a firm manner.

He went bright red, muttered sorry and didn't give any eye contact the rest of the transaction. I then realised he had tears running down his face. I said I'm sorry, is everything OK? He ignored me so as I left I explained to the security guard (nobody else around) what happened and he said he'd go talk to him.

I feel absolutely awful that I've upset somebody... but was I wrong to have said something to him?

If you hadn't ended your post with him crying no one here would be telling you that you're a bully

What if it was the other way round? A man in his mid 30s and a teenage girl behind the counter?

DFOD

Well she was horrible to him and it was unnecessary. And crying is not a negative thing, he may have had a very good reason for being upset, which is why we shouldn't treat people like dirt. It's always people who can't answer back who get spoken to like this.

I mean it's over £11 an hour- more than a HCA or a carer get. If you recieved shit care from them I'm sure you wouldn't say ah it's fine they're on a crap wage?

I try not to give too much of a shit if the cashier serving me isn't particularly friendly or polite. I figure that they're emotionally knackered from being nit picked by a manager, or being sworn at for IDing someone, or having a customer summon them by whistling as though they're a dog. Nail biting isn't great, but unlikely to be the grossest thing happening in the shop tbh.

No difference.
The op didn't unfairly pick on someone, she called out unprofessional behaviour.

I assume he had something else going on that made him especially fragile that day, you weren't to know. You apologized so you're clearly not a bully. No customer ever apologized to me after getting cross with me.

His behaviour was wildly unprofessional and unhygienic! I understand why you feel bad but even if you had ignored his behaviour and reported it to the manager then he probably would have still ended up crying.

He shouldn’t have been doing that and hopefully his supervisor has a word. I don’t think you were wrong to say something. Sadly he was possibly having a bad day.

Is it not basic manners to look at the person you are serving and speak to them courteously?

These things work both ways.

What do you expect from Tesco?

I don't know, you tell us? It's very odd people don't see anything odd about someone scanning your food whilst ignoring you and scrolling through their phone, and then when they've stopped scanning they don't even say how much it is, I'd find this rude too. If the young man finds interactions with the public hard then perhaps there are other duties within the store he's more suited to? What if a customer is blind or has other issues, should they have to prompt the person (which they might find hard) to give basic service ie that'll be x amount please?

Really pissed off how people keep saying he's an adult and he should KNOW things. I'm old, I left school at 15 and wasn't considered an adult for 6 years during which time I learned the ways of the world. Now, 18 year olds are still in full-time education so not worldly wise at all. A bit of common sense is needed I think when dealing with young people.

Op, if you would have told off a GP, bank manager, receptionist, nurse, chef, taxi driver etc in the same way you have done nothing wrong (for you), if you reserve that tone for youngsters in low-paid jobs maybe think twice in future? You are obviously having doubts about whether you were out of order or not.

He might be working evenings to help his mum financially to make ends meet, he might have been waiting on some personal information about health problem within the family, he may have been chucked out of home & trying to make a go of it on his own…

Of course none of this may apply - he might be a bit rude & just couldn’t be bothered…but I tend to give people the benefit you the doubt in life.

Yes a certain level of service should be provided but this might have been an exception and not his normal service.

If I were in your shoes I’d return to the shop & offer the lad an apology.

I mean if any of those listed did the same im sure most people would complain. Imagine going to see the GP and the whole appointment they're on their phone, they then won't tell you any information they just carry on ignoring you- you'd hope people would say something! Same applies to the others.

Oh that's gold. I can't afford Waitrose though, so will just have to expect to be kowtowed (to who the actual fuck says that anyway?!) by the supermarket staff who have no customer service because they are paid less.

ANY shop should have good customer service. It's really simple to do.
Hi there. Eye contact. Please. Thank you. You're welcome.

The employee might be unable to do one or ore of these because of a learning disability, or may be slower to say them. Or may have a disability. Or be 60 or 18. They wouldn't be be picking their fingers, on their phone and saying absolutely nothing at all though. Anyone who thinks otherwise, can shove that up their Waitrose toilet-paper-wiped bum!!

Oh poor lad, and poor you. I'd feel terrible about that. It's unfortunate, but he shouldn't have been ok his phone while working so I don't blame you for being annoyed and I'd actually say good on you for calling him out on it as terrible as that is

I think from his reaction and body language he may have had additional needs or maybe he was going through something, or he’s had to deal with rude customers most of the day and that was the last straw. The majority of the local co-op staff rarely say hello, they give you a bag to pop your own shopping too. I personally haven’t experience good customer service for a long time.

It’s… literally the definition.

Two of the staff in my local Lidl are rude like that. Both relatively young - teens or 20s.

I never say anything, but it's weird that they serve you without speaking.

I never complain about anything usually but DID put in a complaint about a Home Bargains cashier once (new staff, middle aged) when she was incredibly rude. Kept aggressively gesturing to me to get back after calling me forward, and chatted to the people she knew in the queue behind me the whole time she was serving me.

No idea if anything came of the complaint though sent the email and stopped going to the shop for months.

Waitrose pay less per hour than tesco!

People are also a lot more fragile post-covid and you need to cut them some slack. I called out a young waitress last week because she sat us at the bar and forgot about us and started seating new arrivals without reservations. She seemed on the verge of tears as she felt I had colluded with my regular waiter who happened to see me when fetching drinks .

Perhaps I should not have vented to him and he definitely rubbed salt into her wound by calling us "his favourite customers". However, I waited a full fifteen minutes before saying anything to her, I would not have complained immediately.

Nice
Who knows what he's dealing with. I've cried at work before. He could have had a really abusive customer previously and that's tipped him over the edge

I've had customers say I don't sound cheery enough - it's been my 200th call of the day, a customer might have called me useless previously, I've been working 3 days after my mum died, had bad news health wise... there's loads of reasons

I can't see an 18yo guy crying just because of you speaking to him, I would think something else has gone on and it's just been the sort of last straw

Bloody hell, he's 18, not 8. I can't believe the amount of people who are treating him as if he is a young child. Nobody should be on a phone during work time, and no the OP didn't bully him!

Oh don't be ridiculous.

Asking a CUSTOMER SERVICE rep to speak to you, make eye contact, put their phone away & take their food-handling fingers out of their mouth is NOT bullying.

If OP hadn't told him, another customer would, or maybe his supervisor, with a worse reprimand or even dismissal. The fingers thing is disgusting, & the phone/lack of any communication thing was downright rudeness.

Are you seriously suggesting that nobody should ever have facts pointed out to them or be asked to behave properly, in case it upsets them?