AIBU not going to my nephew's christening?

[headlessduck]

Hey, my sister has just had her first baby and they have decided to christen him. None of our family is religious, but my BIL's parents are quite religious. I think they are mostly christening him because of them. I think that raising your child to be religious is deeply unethical. I think it is wrong to teach kids their ludicrous beliefs which there is almost no evidence for as if they are facts. It actively discourages critical thinking. You are facilitating a religion that is deeply misogynistic and homophobic, even if you conveniently ignore these parts of the Bible. Christenings are promising to do just that. At best it is a hypocritical promise. In this case, I think this is all it is. I feel uncomfortable supporting this, and I find religious ceremonies infuriating and boring. I told her I would not be going for these reasons. It is their choice. I am not trying to stop them from doing this, I just don't want to go myself. However, she told me this was "ridiculous" and "pathetic" and that it was "mostly just an excuse for a party." What does everyone think of this? AIBU not going to my nephew's christening?

Go on @gemloving I'll bite. Christmas Eve/Day used to be a time when people in the UK who were mostly Christians celebrated the birth of 'Christ'. It was an abitory day picked by the church years ago and essentially hi-jacked other celebrations whether thst be solstice, yuletide etc.
Xmas to me is a good week. If I was asked if I was doing anything for Xmas I'd include my plans for NYE. The whole holiday period is simply referred to as Xmas.

Well, the only difference is whether you agree or not. Can't see that OP has expressed anything particularly terrible personally.

ODFOD

I think it very much depends on exactly what she said to her sister

I had to make the same decision about being a ‘godparent’

I said yes because to me it’s all about being an honorary aunty. But then when the vicar was asking me ‘do you turn to christ’ I felt deeply uncomfortable and kinda annoyed with my friend for putting me in that situation when neither she nor I believe in the religion.

Weird world innit

Which we don't know so what exactly has OP said to warrant being called an 'arsehole?'

Maybe if your BIL's family are religious then he is the one wanting the christening and your sister is happy to go along with him.

By all means don't go if you don't believe in it. You are entitled to your views just as much as he is. Did you tell your BIL how you feel?

@JudgeRudy and that's fine, you enjoy yourself but to deny it's a religious holiday I find strange even after your explanation. The reason you celebrated is because Christians started it.

I admire your principled stand and have voted YANBU. You have considered the situation and made your decision. What I can't stand is the hypocrisy of making promises that, even at the time, you have no intention of keeping.
I suspect you could attend the Christening and keep your mouth closed when asked to make commitments as the congregation will be asked to do, but why should you if you feel uncomfortable at the service.
Speaking as a Christian I would prefer you not to be put in this position.

If you do Christmas/ Easter in anyway then you should be going.

I would go simply because it’s a special day for your sister and nephew, not about you. Your views seem very extreme and most Christian’s aren’t raised to be homophobic or with misogynistic views anymore. My dad is christian, I was christened but actively encouraged to question and ask questions about my beliefs and would not longer class myself as a practising christian. This is pretty much normal now.

You don’t seem very tolerant or open minded about others faiths. However your nephews christening is not about you, it’s about supporting your family.

I told her I would not be going for these reasons.

Well done on permanently sabotaging your relationship with your sister.

Easter eggs are not religious.

Hmm, no. It was celebrated long before the supposed birth of Jesus. That got tacked on to pre-existing festivities.

I agree with everything you say and christenings are as utterly pointless as engagement parties and baby showers but it’s an excuse for a get together so just embrace it!

and that's fine, you enjoy yourself but to deny it's a religious holiday I find strange even after your explanation. The reason you celebrated is because Christians started it.

Nope. It was a Norse / 'pagan' festival way before it was hijacked by Christians - Yule. Trees were decorated with offerings, there was feasting, celebrations etc.

Easter is also hijacked. A celebration of the goddess of fertility & spring - Eostre.

Your stance lacks compassion, understanding and is ridiculous. It's not your child, it's your sister's choice. Don't go and ruin this very special day for them

Easter was not originally a Christian celebration though so even the most vehement anti Christians would have no reason to avoid it

This site exists to express strong opinions. What women dont have to be is preachy and opinionated when their opinion hasn't been asked for.

Having opinions isn't a reason to aggressively piss on the chips of someone you care about.

So by your rationale, my Muslim friends shouldn’t come to my children’s baptisms? And I shouldn’t go to a naming celebration which isn’t in accordance with my spiritual beliefs?

I think this is a fake post !

Yabu and sound really unsupportive and intolerant.

Actually, the egg symbolises resurrection

Actually, the egg symbolises resurrection

It represents fertility.

Your sister thinks it is "mostly just an excuse for a party" and she's telling you that you are being ridiculous and pathetic for standing by your principles?

I can't help thinking that she's being a bit hypocritical herself.

Whilst a baptism isn't exactly going to be indoctrinating the baby (who is far too young to understand a thing anyway), it clearly means a lot to your BIL's side of the family. Whether or not you agree with that religion, or indeed any religion, you still need to be tolerant of other people's beliefs. But that doesn't mean you have to go if you don't want to, because they should be equally tolerant of yours.

I'd only go to a christening if the parents actually believed in god. The people that do it for the sake of it waste everyone's time. It's selfish.