To have an abortion and not say a word

[Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy]

Just found out I'm pregnant, unplanned not sure exactly how far along. I have 2 children already don't want anymore. Aibu to just get an abortion without saying anything to anyone

Does anyone include the father?

Yeah not telling anyone including the father

No, I don't think YABU. You might want to tell someone for practical support though, if you can.

Depends on the relationship

your husband? A fling?

Do it OP, you sound very sure and anyone else’s involvement might make you wobble

That's absolutely fine.

If he will make it harder for you to do what you need to do, then don't tell him.

Make sure you have a back up plan for support, in case it's not straightforward.

It's your body and it's a completely private medical procedure that's between you and the medical staff. You don't need to tell anyone.

Are you in a solid realationship with partner?
Do you think he should know?

You possibly might be distressed enough to need understanding and support what ever you decide.

I would do the same.

This is my concern I don't want anyone trying to change my mind

I would, if I was 100% sure it was what I wanted.
The father wouldn't need to know in my opinion especially if he would try and sway the decision.

If you're sure then it's your body and your choice.

Of course you are not BU if that's what you feel would be best. It's your body.

Do you think you would might some support afterwards though?

Is it boyfriend or FWB?

Of course. It's your body & if you don't feel the need for other people's involvement/opinion go right ahead.

Either way - your decisions

but if someone you want in your life long term, then I’d tell them. Will be a good litmus test as to their character and how much support they give you

Do you live with the father?

This is really tough. I can totally get why you would just want to sort it quietly - it's your body and your choice but If it was me I feel like I
Would have it hanging over me forever more and if I did ever mention it in the future I would hate for my husband to resent me or see me any differently.
Good luck with whatever you decide

I think I'd have to tell my DP, but the difference is I know he'd feel the same way as me so there would be no swaying iyswim.

If you think you can do it alone and you are 100% sure the go for it op.

Of course you're not unreasonable. How will anything the guy has to say make any difference?

I'm not in a relationship with the father

You don't have to tell a soul. If anyone spots you at the clinic, you're another woman with 'trouble with her periods'. Your body, your choice. Always.

Let's say you are married to the father, live with him and tell him. Years later he might come back at you with 'You aborted my child!' Don't risk it.

Then I would do it. He doesn't need to know.

Do you have support for afterwards if you need it? Not saying you will.

YANBU. It's nobody's business, especially if the father isn't even a boyfriend.

Cross post there.
It's entirely your choice.