Page 2 | To have an abortion and not say a word

Echobelly · 01/03/2023 12:49

I think in your position I'd tell OH, and I mean tell. 'I've found out I'm pregnant, it's very early and I really don't want another, I am booking an abortion', although only if I was very sure he'd agree. I suppose if you have a strong feeling he'll try to convince you to keep it, then maybe not.

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 01/03/2023 12:49

Do it, OP. It is your body and no one's business but yours. No one is "owed" your private medical information, or to to be told in advance/at all, and I'm sure you have your reasons (which are also none of anyone's business).

This goes double if you feel that anyone might try to guilt trip/manipulate/punish you for it, or might "accidentally" let slip that you're pregnant to other people in order to make it harder for you to go through with.

Vegrocks · 01/03/2023 12:50

If no relationship, then nothing to be gained by telling other than possibly drama.

how did it happen? Did he insist on condom free or similar such nonsense?

CheersForThatEh · 01/03/2023 12:50

Yanbu. It's not a consultation and that's why your health record is private.

Echobelly · 01/03/2023 12:51

Oh, just seen you're not in a relationship, that's totally different, absolutely no need to tell him and far better not to.

cocksstrideintheevening · 01/03/2023 12:51

YANBU.

FourTeaFallOut · 01/03/2023 12:51

It's your right and perfectly reasonable choice to go ahead and terminate the pregnancy without mentioning it to one other person.

TessoftheDubonnet · 01/03/2023 12:51

It doesn't matter how it happened or who with.

It's absolutely your choice.

CoalCraft · 01/03/2023 12:52

Probably what I'd do if I was sure I wanted an abortion.

ReneBumsWombats · 01/03/2023 12:52

Echobelly · 01/03/2023 12:49

I think in your position I'd tell OH, and I mean tell. 'I've found out I'm pregnant, it's very early and I really don't want another, I am booking an abortion', although only if I was very sure he'd agree. I suppose if you have a strong feeling he'll try to convince you to keep it, then maybe not.

Not sure what the point of that would be. If you don't care what he thinks (and OP isn't obliged to care), why bother?

Coyoacan · 01/03/2023 12:52

My only concern is that you might need some emotional support.

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 01/03/2023 12:56

All the people saying "what is your relationship with the father?" and "how did you get pregnant?" are asking weirdly irrelevant questions.

Abortions are legal medical procedures. They aren't something you have to prove you "deserve" or justify yourself for wanting. And like all medical issues, you don't have to tell anyone about if you don't want to.

funinthesun19 · 01/03/2023 12:57

Yanbu. Because nobody else has an actual right to know.

soleilblue · 01/03/2023 12:58

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 01/03/2023 12:47

I'm not in a relationship with the father

Then all good. If you don't have to maintain a relationship with him then you don't have to worry about hiding it.

soleilblue · 01/03/2023 12:59

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 01/03/2023 12:56

All the people saying "what is your relationship with the father?" and "how did you get pregnant?" are asking weirdly irrelevant questions.

Abortions are legal medical procedures. They aren't something you have to prove you "deserve" or justify yourself for wanting. And like all medical issues, you don't have to tell anyone about if you don't want to.

I was just concerned about how OP would conceal it and if she'd said she lived with the father I would have said if she can keep it from him and never tell him then fine. Also she might want to "go away for work" or something.

greensbeans · 01/03/2023 13:01

ReneBumsWombats · 01/03/2023 12:52

Not sure what the point of that would be. If you don't care what he thinks (and OP isn't obliged to care), why bother?

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Agree with this completely. It’s 100% your choice OP, tell someone if you need support, but if you know this what you want to do, then I would do it.

skgnome · 01/03/2023 13:01

Just saw the update, you not being a relationship with the father, then go ahead it’s really your body your choice here

greensbeans · 01/03/2023 13:02

Sorry I was supposed to quote @FineWordsForAPorcupine

SpinningFloppa · 01/03/2023 13:02

If I was in a relationship with the father then yes I would tell him. But as you are not then no I wouldn’t and I wouldn’t feel guilty either; the chances of a man wanting an unplanned baby with someone he is not in a relationship are extremely low so I think he would be relieved you don’t want to keep it.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 01/03/2023 13:03

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 01/03/2023 12:37

Just found out I'm pregnant, unplanned not sure exactly how far along. I have 2 children already don't want anymore. Aibu to just get an abortion without saying anything to anyone

I did, 30 years ago. Zero regrets. No need to tell anyone.

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 01/03/2023 13:04

If no relationship with the father than I think that’s fine, it’s your body. If father is long term partner/husband/someone you love I’d tell them because it’s a big secret to have between you and could effect you mentally going forward having the pressure of keeping it to yourself.

EyesOnThePies · 01/03/2023 13:04

Your body, your life, your decision.

No one else’s business.

Take care of yourself OP.

WeeOrcadian · 01/03/2023 13:04

I'd be tempted to tell someone close to you, in case you need a shoulder or even practical help, other than that - you shouldn't feel you need to tell anyone if you don't want to

Lkydfju · 01/03/2023 13:04

Totally your choice

Shmithecat2 · 01/03/2023 13:04

YANBU. Even if you were happily married, YANBU.