To consider driving kids 120 miles (3 hours) round trip mom-fri for a year?

[Helpmegetajob]

We are hopefully moving to a new place in the next couple of months but year 5 DS really wants to finish primary at his current school. This would mean doing this journey each week day for 9 months until July 24 …So …

yes you are being unreasonable to keep his current schools and commute

no you are not being unreasonable to keep his current school.

any ideas on if the school would object?

Yabu, he's gonna have to suck this one up.

Just to come at this from a different angle, where will his secondary school be? If he is not likely to go to secondary school with the people at his current primary he may benefit from meeting new kids before moving up.

That sounds insane.

an hour and a half each way? What will you do in between school runs, just hang around waiting? Will you do it on weekends for parties and play dates as well?

it would be better for him to switch to a new school nearer his new home so that he’ll make local friends and hopefully know some kids going to his secondary.

Agree with this.

Didn’t you post earlier today about homeschooling? It seems like a long time for a 120 mile journey - do you mean 120 miles each way, 60 miles each way or 30 miles each way (but including your own return)? Most journeys of 120 miles would include a considerable stretch of motorway or NSL so a 40mph average seems low. Why not just stay put?

Sounds ridiculous, he needs to move school or you avoid moving!

I can’t believe you’d even consider that. It’s bonkers. Three hours each day, or three hours twice daily? Just think of the fuel costs and wear and tear on your vehicle.

He’s what, 10? He doesn’t get to make that decision. Surely better to move in year 5, make new friends to transition up to senior school with.

The cost of the fuel would be a no for me!! How early would you need to leave, and would this affect employment/other dc?

Have you worked out what that's going to cost in fuel? Because it's A Lot.

Since when did a 9 year old get to dictate where he goes to school?

That’s insane.

Sometimes moving school is a part of life. He is young enough that he will be fine.

It sounds like madness to me. What's he going to do for the journey time? Think of petrol and car mileage. You are going to be pretty much living in your car. Think of the traffic.

DS is delaying the inevitable, would he rather not know anyone in a smaller primary or a big secondary.

School probably wouldn't object but if it were me, I'd move him.

So I work the same area as the school and have the option of using an office space when they’re at school. I do school hours so will finish same time. After school clubs play dates would be a no.

in terms of secondary we have agreed that will be at the new place and he’s fine with that. We didn’t anticipate the opportunity to move coming so quick but it seems that the right place has come up and the only barrier is DS as we promised a while back he could finish year 6 and then we’d move!

Oh and no I didn’t post earlier about homeschooling

I do 140 miles per day (two special schools in opposite directions) and it's pretty exhausting for everyone, tbh.

How old are the other DCs?
Seems a bit unfair on them not to be able to have playdates, clubs etc just because eldest doesn't want to change schools.
What if they don't want to change either?

Just being dense, I guess… but is he in Y5 or Y6? And it’s not 9 months until July 24??

I always thought this unwillingness to move kids schools in the UK was baffling. I live abroad in Canada and if you move even 20 minutes away the child will switch schools as it goes by catchment. Kids make new friends. It's not the end of days.

I presume OP has deducted the holidays.

I understand your yr5 doesn’t want to move schools as he likes his friends but imagine when he moves to secondary and knows noone at all, you’d be much better letting him finish year 5 then moving so he can make some friendships in the new place and travel back to see mates at weekends to keep in touch, I think you’f all he exhausted to be honest.

Another who agrees with this.

I moved in the October of year 7.

Everyone at my new secondary was lovely but most of them not only knew each other for 6 weeks before I joined but many for 6 years before that!

I fitted in fine and they were very welcoming but I could never join in conversations of primary and memories that had the whole time I was there.

So I'm sure he'll fit in fine if he moves just for secondary but I think it'll be easier to transfer with people he has some shared history with.

Yes I’ve deducted the holidays as we would be at home and not travelling.

my sense is that they won’t really know anyone at secondary hence my thoughts about starting fresh in year 7

other dc is 5 so reception and I’m less worried about them moving as they seem fine with it

And that timeframe for travel guesstimate is when there is no snarl ups traffic wise.
It doesn't sound realistic.

Check if your prospective secondaries have feeder primaries.
I have a son who started a new school in year 6 and it worked well as a decent percentage of his class went to yeh same secondary school.

My DM actually did this for my sis (14/15 yo) for an entire school year. And she worked full time - they would leave around 6AM to drive her there then she would get off work at 4/5PM to pick her up. They didn't get home til 7/8PM M-F. I don't know how she did it., but I know I wouldn't have done it. She also had mommy guilt for moving her from her friends but eventually she burnt out and told my sis she had to suck it up and make friends in their new city. My sis adjusted just fine eventually.

Again, I wouldn't do it. I think it's insane and I know I'd start getting anxious and resentful every morning I woke up and had to do that drive.