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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hospital ride going out on my due date

117 replies

IslandGirl5 · 27/02/2023 21:36

I need opinions here please! I’m due DD number 2 on Saturday so very hormonal and uncomfortable and need people to tell me if I’m right to be annoyed or not!

My DH doesn’t drive and the closest person to me is my best friend from childhood (lives 20 minutes away) who from day 1 has agreed to be my lift to the hospital when the time comes. I’m literally due in 5 days and she’s told me she’s going out Saturday night from 6/7ish in the evening but should be fine to drive in the morning. Saturday is literally my due date. Now I don’t expect her to do nothing. She had a weekend away planned last weekend which obviously I never expected her to do anything about but this is just a night out and I feel like I just don’t know what to say. All my family are an hours drive away and my mum is on call to come look after DD number 1. I don’t have many other options here as we only moved here a year ago and I don’t have that many close friends yet. So it’s kind of just her. AIBU to be annoyed? How would you guys feel?? TIA

OP posts:
Nsky62 · 27/02/2023 21:37

You get a taxi if you need to

Brown888 · 27/02/2023 21:38

YABU. Why would you want to intrude on a friend's life when you can just get a taxi?

Slinkyminky22 · 27/02/2023 21:39

YANBU but can you call a taxi if you go into labour? Or an ambulance depending on the situation.

It's not great when you're relying on someone and they can't put nights out on hold for a bit, knowing how essential their help is.

CrotchetyCrocheting · 27/02/2023 21:39

You aren't any more likely to go into labour o your due date than you are the day before or the day after. You can't expect her not to go out for what could be 2 weeks.

PuttingDownRoots · 27/02/2023 21:40

Your baby could literally come at anytime in the next three weeks. She could be at work, at the supermarket, at the dentist, having a quiet drink ..

You need a plan B.

Wrongsideofpennines · 27/02/2023 21:40

I'd just get a taxi. If you're calling parents in from elsewhere then just call them early and they can take you to the hospital.

MyBloodyBrother · 27/02/2023 21:40

Get a taxi, ffs. You can’t expect your mate to be hanging around waiting for you to go into labour for weeks.

marmitegirl01 · 27/02/2023 21:40

Baby might not come for 10 days. Is your friend not allowed to do anything in that time?

MrSlant · 27/02/2023 21:41

Going by my three your due date is probably the safest date she could pick to go out, I don't know anyone who had their baby on the official due date! You've got 2 weeks plus or minus each side and it would still be a 'term' delivery so I think the stats are in her favour.

But I totally understand where you are coming from, this is NOT a good time to be changing plans with a 9 months pregnant woman, I don't think I knew if I was coming or going by that point and hormone soup doesn't even begin to cover it. Good luck OP. And make sure you have a taxi firm number to hand just in case.

ShirleyPhallus · 27/02/2023 21:41

“I don’t have any other options”

Thats a real shame, if only there was a service where you could call someone and they’d turn up and drive you wherever you wanted to go in exchange for money

soleilblue · 27/02/2023 21:42

Get an uber

Or the bus?

TheChosenTwo · 27/02/2023 21:43

Sorry but I don’t think you’re right to be annoyed. Call a taxi. Will you be on your own while having the baby? Or is your dh able to come and someone else looking after dc1?

aawap · 27/02/2023 21:43

Taxi

PuttingDownRoots · 27/02/2023 21:43

Its apparently a 5% chance of delivering spontaneously on your DD.

shopmyfeelings · 27/02/2023 21:46

Your friend can't be expected to be constantly available to you for the next 3 weeks.

You'll be fine. You can get a taxi if you happen to go into labour Saturday night.

QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat · 27/02/2023 21:47

OP I totally get the feeling hormonal but in the kindest possible way, YABU. Worst comes to the worst then there is a taxi/Uber.

iam45 · 27/02/2023 21:47

this must be a reverse, no one could be that self centred

maddy68 · 27/02/2023 21:49

Yabvu. If she can't do it you get a taxi

You could be weeks overdue. I don't know anyone that had a baby on their due date. You can't expect someone else to stay in until you have had a baby

ThinWomansBrain · 27/02/2023 21:51

you'd have a point if it was your partner who'd decided to have a night out - but not a friend.

FlamingoSocks · 27/02/2023 21:52

Was it a “I will absolutely do my best to help you out if I’m free” or was it a “I will put my entire life on hold for five weeks, not have a drink, not stray far from home and will drop anything at any time to give you a lift” type of deal? I think most people would sign up with the understanding they are agreeing to scenario 1 rather than scenario 2?
She will do it if she can and if she can’t you get a taxi.

Viviennemary · 27/02/2023 21:53

I don't think you can expect somebody to be on call for a week or so and stay in.

Undermyumberellaellaella · 27/02/2023 21:56

If she's able to take you to the hospital then that's good of her and is handy. But if she can't, taxi it is.

Me and my partner didn't drive when I was pregnant and had to make do, just like plenty of others.

Undermyumberellaellaella · 27/02/2023 21:58

Also, what happens when you don't go into labour in Saturday? Has she got to wait in every day and sit twiddling her thumbs until she gets a call from you?

LoveBluey · 27/02/2023 21:59

I agree with the others. I get that for you this is the biggest thing in your life and it's easy to forget that it's not the same for your friend. She still has her own life happening and it's not fair to expect her to cancel all plans for what could easily be a 3-4 week window.
I understand why you're disappointed but you can't make her feel bad for this.
A taxi will be your back up plan.

I have offered help to many friends who are expecting (mainly in the form of childcare for the older ones - but I'd also offer a lift if need see) however I have not ever put everything on hold and have just said I will do my best to help if I can. Typically they've had 3 or 4 people on standby to cover these eventualities which I realise isn't possibly for you but that's where you'd need a taxi.

shakeitoffsis · 27/02/2023 22:00

Find your own transport ffs

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