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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hospital ride going out on my due date

117 replies

IslandGirl5 · 27/02/2023 21:36

I need opinions here please! I’m due DD number 2 on Saturday so very hormonal and uncomfortable and need people to tell me if I’m right to be annoyed or not!

My DH doesn’t drive and the closest person to me is my best friend from childhood (lives 20 minutes away) who from day 1 has agreed to be my lift to the hospital when the time comes. I’m literally due in 5 days and she’s told me she’s going out Saturday night from 6/7ish in the evening but should be fine to drive in the morning. Saturday is literally my due date. Now I don’t expect her to do nothing. She had a weekend away planned last weekend which obviously I never expected her to do anything about but this is just a night out and I feel like I just don’t know what to say. All my family are an hours drive away and my mum is on call to come look after DD number 1. I don’t have many other options here as we only moved here a year ago and I don’t have that many close friends yet. So it’s kind of just her. AIBU to be annoyed? How would you guys feel?? TIA

OP posts:
Undermyumberellaellaella · 27/02/2023 22:01

Sorry for the 3rd post, seems I have to keep saying something!

If your mum is an hour way but will be the one looking after your daughter too, can she take you to the hospital when she gets there? I'm guessing you'll have to wait for her anyway.

Coffeellama · 27/02/2023 22:02

YABU a tiny tiny amount of babies are born on their due date for one thing. But also she’s not your partner, so she owes you nothing. It’s not relevant that you don’t have other family and friends nearby, when you chose to have a baby you and your partner took responsibility for getting yourself to hospital. Get a taxi and don’t be so ungrateful that she’s willing to do it any other time.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 27/02/2023 22:03

YABVU.

Get a taxi. You can't expect your friend to sit around waiting for you to go into labour for weeks on end!

Ponderingwindow · 27/02/2023 22:04

How on call is she? Was she planning to leave work if you called in the middle of the day? Is she staying within a certain radius of you at all times? If she isn’t doing those things, she can’t really be your only transportation option.

CatsGinAndTwiglets · 27/02/2023 22:06

Term is 37-42 weeks, you can expect a friend to sit waiting for five weeks without going out.

CatsGinAndTwiglets · 27/02/2023 22:06

CatsGinAndTwiglets · 27/02/2023 22:06

Term is 37-42 weeks, you can expect a friend to sit waiting for five weeks without going out.

CAN’T! Bloody phone

Snugglemonkey · 27/02/2023 22:07

I appreciate that you are heavily pg and this is a big stress to you. Plus, if you are anything like me then you will be stressing like mad anyway,but I dislike the vulnerability bit of pregnancy.

However, yabu. You cannot expect people to totally put their lives on hold. You do not live in an episode of friends, or some such where every friendship is perfect. Actually, lots of people suck.

This friend is being supportive. Hold supportive people close! Ring a taxi. Chill,it will all work out.

Why does dp not drive? If you are somewhere like London,where you really do not need to, you have plenty of time for a taxi.

If you are rural, I get that it makes things more difficult. I just had DC2 and logistics were a nightmare! If you live rurally, your dp needs to drive asap. That would not help for your delivery obvs, but will make life easier! Your mum could drop you off and take your DD home?

TinyCactusInAPot · 27/02/2023 22:10

Your poor friend

she’s not allowed out for weeks?

pub? Work? Shop? Dentist? No? She just needs to be on stand-by?!

make a new plan now, eg get your mum to stay or a taxi

good luck, it will be fine. I got a taxi and it was fine

margegunderson · 27/02/2023 22:13

What everyone else said except all of mine arrived on their due dates. Didn't realise that was odd.

RampantIvy · 27/02/2023 22:14

For future - Is your husband able to learn to drive?

timeforachang3 · 27/02/2023 22:17

Yeah sorry what’s your plan if you go into labour when she’s at work etc? Realistically you can go into labour anytime so you can’t expect her to put her life on hold, the offer of if she’s around to give you a lift she will, is nice enough. Especially giving you the heads up too about Saturday night. Gives you time to arrange an alternative!

Thoughtful2355 · 27/02/2023 22:18

Both of mine were 2 weeks overdue. You'll be fine but either way,you need to have a plan b which to me would be a taxi

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 27/02/2023 22:19

YABU. Just get a taxi.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 27/02/2023 22:19

For what it's worth, I know several women who have driven themselves to hospital while in labour. Didn't Jacinda Ardern ride her bike?

You will be fine.

SBHon · 27/02/2023 22:22

my mum is on call to come look after DD number 1
Is your mum driving down? She could take you to hospital first and then look after your DD?

VerityUnreasonble · 27/02/2023 22:24

When I was in (earlyish) labour with my first I got a tram then walked 15 minutes to the hospital. I'm not recommending that as a course of action but I'm sure there are alternatives if you happen to go into to labour and get to the point of needing to go in during the short time your friend has made other plans.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 27/02/2023 22:24

I think its shit! It's a late organised night out, not a milestone birthday party or a wedding shed be missing. If she didnt want to stay in, or be readily available (eg go out but locally and not drink) she shouldn't have agreed. If I agreed to something like this, I'd take it seriously and agree up front what was expected (like no plans or not going more than 20 min away for a week either side of the due date). If that wasnt possible due to other commitments then I'd say 'sorry you'll need to get a taxi' up front. If OPs due date is saturday night though taxis aren't exactly easy to come by, and in any case sometimes dont service certain areas unless pre-cooked

Crostimosti · 27/02/2023 22:25

I'd feel like I shouldn't impose on a friend and expect them to stop having a life around my due date in case I need a lift at any given moment.

I'd also feel like I should be researching taxis.

MajorCarolDanvers · 27/02/2023 22:27

Only 4% of women give birth on their due dates. Therefore there is a 96% chance you will not give birth on Saturday.

You cannot expect your friend to stay home for weeks.

But if you are one of the 4% get a taxi

Dammitthisisshit · 27/02/2023 22:30

I think some of these responses are pretty harsh. OP hasn’t said that she expects her friend to sit at home and twiddle her thumbs for a month, just not get so drunk that she may not even be safe to drive the next day. If her friend offered to be her lift then surely she knew that means a limited time of staying sober!

Taxis aren’t reliable everywhere - we don’t know if they are where OP lives. It’s almost impossible to get a taxi where I live. You can book them a couple of weeks in advance but you’ve got no chance last minute.

That said OP I don’t think you have a choice, you can’t stop your friend going out, time to arrange backup.

LivingOnAPrayerYes · 27/02/2023 22:31

Doesn't your friend work, or have any other commitments at all in her life that mean she's made herself available for at least 5 weeks around your due date?

Foundryside · 27/02/2023 22:31

Emotionally speaking, I’d not be thrilled about this.

But, with my rational head on, you were at full term at 37 weeks. You could go into labour any time in the next couple of weeks

Surely you’ve had a plan B for if you went into labour while she was unavailable (work, this weekend away you mention, etc) during the 4-5 weeks after you’ve reached full term? Can’t you fall back on that if you go into labour while your friend’s on her night out?

Iwantmyoldnameback · 27/02/2023 22:33

Are you staying in all day everyday in case you go into labour op?

BruceAndNosh · 27/02/2023 22:35

According to the mother another thread starter, your friend should pay for your taxi!

IneedcoffeeinanIV · 27/02/2023 22:35

I get why you're worrying about it but you can't really expect her just to be on call from your due date onwards. Plus, it's not likely you're going to go into labour on your due date (I know it can happen). You can get a taxi as a back up option and you'll have your DH with you so it'll be fine. I had to get a taxi when I was in labour with my first and it was fine. I would be slightly annoyed about it but not enough to kick up a fuss, just have a rant to us and your Partner. Good luck!