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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hospital ride going out on my due date

117 replies

IslandGirl5 · 27/02/2023 21:36

I need opinions here please! I’m due DD number 2 on Saturday so very hormonal and uncomfortable and need people to tell me if I’m right to be annoyed or not!

My DH doesn’t drive and the closest person to me is my best friend from childhood (lives 20 minutes away) who from day 1 has agreed to be my lift to the hospital when the time comes. I’m literally due in 5 days and she’s told me she’s going out Saturday night from 6/7ish in the evening but should be fine to drive in the morning. Saturday is literally my due date. Now I don’t expect her to do nothing. She had a weekend away planned last weekend which obviously I never expected her to do anything about but this is just a night out and I feel like I just don’t know what to say. All my family are an hours drive away and my mum is on call to come look after DD number 1. I don’t have many other options here as we only moved here a year ago and I don’t have that many close friends yet. So it’s kind of just her. AIBU to be annoyed? How would you guys feel?? TIA

OP posts:
Plaidparty · 28/02/2023 02:41

YABU. She can’t put her life on hold for weeks to wait there phone when there are things like taxis and Ubers available.

I never understand these threads from people, surely if you chose to move rurally without a driving husband then you would come up against issues like this? You cannot expect your friend to be on call for weeks.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 28/02/2023 02:48

PuttingDownRoots · 27/02/2023 21:43

Its apparently a 5% chance of delivering spontaneously on your DD.

This.

I was going to say that it is your due date so it’s pretty much guaranteed that the baby won’t be born that day. But this. It’s saying the same thing without my added hyperbole.

mybunniesandme · 28/02/2023 05:57

YABVU get a taxi - your partner had 9 months x 2 (since this is a second child) to learn to drive and start adulting

Bloopsie · 28/02/2023 06:36

Just get a taxi or ambulance if needed, you cant expect your friend to be on standby 24/7.

Bloopsie · 28/02/2023 06:37

And as above one of you between your partner and you needs a driving licence, asap, with kids you are likely to have appointments in many places,night time hospital visit perhaps etc

LogonMounstuart · 28/02/2023 06:39

OP as everyone else has said, get a taxi number, they can be available when you need them. It will be fine.

@mybunniesandme there are lots of reasons why people don't drive. Some can't for reasons of illness or disability. Others don't- they choose to share out parenting differently or are taking active steps to contribute a more environmentally conscious way of living. I am sure you didn't mean it but suggesting they were not 'adulting' could be read as at best a bit ignorant and at worst offensive and ableist.

Againstmachine · 28/02/2023 06:51

Plaidparty · 28/02/2023 02:41

YABU. She can’t put her life on hold for weeks to wait there phone when there are things like taxis and Ubers available.

I never understand these threads from people, surely if you chose to move rurally without a driving husband then you would come up against issues like this? You cannot expect your friend to be on call for weeks.

Exactly the OP chose to move away from family and friends then. Have another baby with no thought how to get to hospital apart from a kind friend offering, what would she have done if this person has not offered.

KimberleyClark · 28/02/2023 06:53

You really do need a plan B. Your friend could have an emergency of her own which means she is unable to drive you.

MoreSleepPleasee · 28/02/2023 06:57

If your mum is on call to drive to you to have your daughter why can't she drop you at the hospital? Or you taxi? You are being unfair on your friend.

Griefgood · 28/02/2023 06:58

MoreSleepPleasee · 28/02/2023 06:57

If your mum is on call to drive to you to have your daughter why can't she drop you at the hospital? Or you taxi? You are being unfair on your friend.

Just about to say this!

BusyMum47 · 28/02/2023 07:03

PuttingDownRoots · 27/02/2023 21:40

Your baby could literally come at anytime in the next three weeks. She could be at work, at the supermarket, at the dentist, having a quiet drink ..

You need a plan B.

⬆️ This! The woman is doing you a favour!

closetparty · 28/02/2023 07:57

LogonMounstuart · 28/02/2023 06:39

OP as everyone else has said, get a taxi number, they can be available when you need them. It will be fine.

@mybunniesandme there are lots of reasons why people don't drive. Some can't for reasons of illness or disability. Others don't- they choose to share out parenting differently or are taking active steps to contribute a more environmentally conscious way of living. I am sure you didn't mean it but suggesting they were not 'adulting' could be read as at best a bit ignorant and at worst offensive and ableist.

I don't drive by choice but I also don't chose to live rurally.

If I did want to live rurally with a child, I would learn to drive so I am surprised that people don't think of these types of things when making a choice to move away from family. If I couldn't drive due to illness etc then I wouldn't live rurally for that very reason.

The fact people don't think ahead any more than 5 minutes is crazy to me - it's like the whole 'how can I work with 2 children, childcare is so expensive'. It is but surely you think of what you are going to do before having another child?

Fail to plan, plan to fail etc.

SummerBaby23 · 28/02/2023 08:01

Can’t you just put DD in your mums car and she give you a lift when she arrives if she’s coming over anyway?

The baby could have been born 3-4 weeks ago or might not come for another 2 weeks so you’re being unreasonable on your friend really. If she’s free great, but as others have said, have a plan B!

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/02/2023 08:02

SleepingStandingUp · 28/02/2023 00:13

The chances of baby coming in those hours vs when she's at work, middle of sex with DH, stuck in traffic coming from town etc.,i think you're being a bit reasonably unreasonable. Cos I get why in your shoes (ugh, velcro sandals by then as shoes didn't fit) it's annoying but also, it shouldn't be.

Crocs then slippers a size up as suffered Odema and body was so swollen of water

Singularity82 · 28/02/2023 09:44

YABU, entitled and cheeky. Get a cab!

RampantIvy · 28/02/2023 12:35

I'm not surprised the OP hasn't come back to this thread. Some of the replies haven't been very supportive.

KarmaStar · 28/02/2023 12:53

Think it's the hormones,no sleep that's making this seem worse than it is op.
your baby is unlikely to come on Saturday evening but if she does,can your mum take you and dd to hospital then return home to be with dd whilst you have baby?
Or could you afford a taxi?
make a plan B just to put your mind at rest for saturday.
hopefully once this weekend is out of the way your friend will be available.maybe baby will arrive next tuesday/wednesday.🌈

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