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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hospital ride going out on my due date

117 replies

IslandGirl5 · 27/02/2023 21:36

I need opinions here please! I’m due DD number 2 on Saturday so very hormonal and uncomfortable and need people to tell me if I’m right to be annoyed or not!

My DH doesn’t drive and the closest person to me is my best friend from childhood (lives 20 minutes away) who from day 1 has agreed to be my lift to the hospital when the time comes. I’m literally due in 5 days and she’s told me she’s going out Saturday night from 6/7ish in the evening but should be fine to drive in the morning. Saturday is literally my due date. Now I don’t expect her to do nothing. She had a weekend away planned last weekend which obviously I never expected her to do anything about but this is just a night out and I feel like I just don’t know what to say. All my family are an hours drive away and my mum is on call to come look after DD number 1. I don’t have many other options here as we only moved here a year ago and I don’t have that many close friends yet. So it’s kind of just her. AIBU to be annoyed? How would you guys feel?? TIA

OP posts:
Mumoftwoinprimary · 27/02/2023 23:29

As others have said - somewhere between 4% and 5% of babies are born on their due dates. And she is effectively only going to be out of action for about 12 hours of it.

So the chances of her not being able to take you is about 2% or 1 in 50.

Really not worth stressing about.

Fatty91 · 27/02/2023 23:43

Get a taxi if needs be i've had to get a taxi when iv gone in labour before now.

whynotwhatknot · 27/02/2023 23:45

cant your mum take you when she comes over to babysit

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/02/2023 23:51

She is allowed a life

But I get that she may be drunk so can't take you

Unless she puts her life on hood and no work or no going out ever for 4w , then she may not be to as you go into labour

A taxi or 999

JudgeRudy · 28/02/2023 00:02

I think it's a unanimous response.....get a taxi
Whilst you're at it, you might want to start thinking about how OH is going to get to and from the hospital (assuming you stay in) and how you're both going to get home......then off vourse there's the next 18 years to consider. Hopefully you have a plan.

Skyrimisveryrelaxing · 28/02/2023 00:10

Taxis will not just come whenever you want. Im in a city center and its an hr or two wait at rush hour if at all.

NewNovember · 28/02/2023 00:11

again Confused as to why no taxi?

StoppinBy · 28/02/2023 00:11

Holey Moley, there's some nasties out today. If I told my bestie that I would drive her to hospital I wouldn't be going out and drinking, going out, sure, but I would stay sober and contactable.

There's a difference between being at work and unable to leave and committing to helping out and then getting passed right on the due date.

OP I wouldn't worry too much, very few babies are born on their due date but I don't think YABU to feel like your friend is letting you down. She's not a random neighbour that you asked a favour of, she's a best friend.

Anywherebuthere · 28/02/2023 00:13

The baby could arrive anytime before or up to two weeks after her due date.

Are you seriously expecting her to put everything on hold until then?

If your friend is unavailable when your babys on the way just call a taxi.

StoppinBy · 28/02/2023 00:13

StoppinBy · 28/02/2023 00:11

Holey Moley, there's some nasties out today. If I told my bestie that I would drive her to hospital I wouldn't be going out and drinking, going out, sure, but I would stay sober and contactable.

There's a difference between being at work and unable to leave and committing to helping out and then getting passed right on the due date.

OP I wouldn't worry too much, very few babies are born on their due date but I don't think YABU to feel like your friend is letting you down. She's not a random neighbour that you asked a favour of, she's a best friend.

Pissed on the DD. Not passed.

SleepingStandingUp · 28/02/2023 00:13

The chances of baby coming in those hours vs when she's at work, middle of sex with DH, stuck in traffic coming from town etc.,i think you're being a bit reasonably unreasonable. Cos I get why in your shoes (ugh, velcro sandals by then as shoes didn't fit) it's annoying but also, it shouldn't be.

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 28/02/2023 00:13

The world sadly does not revolve around you, YABU and you know it.

StClare101 · 28/02/2023 00:16

This has to be a wind up.

Strawberrydelight78 · 28/02/2023 00:20

Why can't you get a taxi? How do you get to hospital for your appointments? I used to go on the bus.

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/02/2023 00:49

Realistically.....you are considered "term" from 37 weeks so assuming you would agree to a 42 week induction, you have a 5 week window. The chances of you going into labour on your due date is really small....cant remember but I think its something like 5%. Most babies are born after their due date.

Worst case scenario is you have to get a taxi.

Mammyloveswine · 28/02/2023 01:02

My mam and dad were due to look after my eldest when I had number 2... they then informed me they were off to a funeral 2 hours away on my due date and "it'll be fine as babies never arrive on their due date".

Famous last words...ds2 was born bang on his due date and I rang my mam to tell her he had arrived-they hadn't even arrived at the funeral destination! (Tbf I did have a lovely quick calm labour and water birth!).

Anyway roped in my sister as a back up plan to have 1 year old DS and all was fine! My parents picked him up on their way home and kept him overnight then came round the next morning to all meet new baby!

Mammyloveswine · 28/02/2023 01:04

Just get a taxi op! Many people do!

Morestrangethings · 28/02/2023 01:04

PuttingDownRoots · 27/02/2023 21:40

Your baby could literally come at anytime in the next three weeks. She could be at work, at the supermarket, at the dentist, having a quiet drink ..

You need a plan B.

Yes, I agree.

Spongeboob · 28/02/2023 01:44

I think you'd better make further plans that that. You have to account for the obvious anomalies likely to happen.

Spongeboob · 28/02/2023 01:44

*than

WandaWonder · 28/02/2023 01:49

MustDust · 27/02/2023 22:42

Think people are being a little harsh, I'm not saying you're right but it would have caused me stress to know I had a plan and there was a potential spanner in the works, despite realistically knowing the chances of baby arriving super quickly at that very point is slim (I say slim since my children did appear on their due dates), hormones can make you a tad irrational. It sounds like she's a great friend and you just need to get a plan b, gather taxi numbers or ask your mum over that evening anyway for tea maybe. Hope all goes well.

For love of all things normal can people please stop using stress, hormones, anxiety (sure when it is genuinely meant no issues), irrational so they can label someone as unreasonable.

People need to sort their own lives out sometimes

Get a taxi as a million other people have said

StarsSand · 28/02/2023 01:54

Good lord. With compassion, YABVU.

Your friend can't be expected to put her life on hold for weeks in case you need a lift.

She's been more than generous agreeing to this plan and letting you know about the window of time in which you will need to make other arrangements.

Get an Uber or a taxi.

Don't say a thing to your friend except - 'thank you!'

Vegansausagevole · 28/02/2023 02:08

I have 2 children one came 17 days before DD the other came 13 days after DD both were classed as normal full time deliveries, unless you are having a planned CS it’s not an exact science. How are you planning to get home from the hospital, get around with the baby once it’s here. There is more than the journey to the hospital that you need to start thinking about.
Did your friend feel pressured to offer as you said you had no other option? It’s a big deal to offer your services 24/7 for maybe 5 weeks, they must be a very good friend don’t fall out over this. You need to work on a Plan B what would you do if your friend wasn’t available, that’s your Plan B.

Ladyofthesea · 28/02/2023 02:25

I find it very unfair to ask a friend to be on call for you for day and night for weeks because you won't pay for a taxi like the rest of us.

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/02/2023 02:28

Although yabu I can understand why you would be annoyed about this