To say something to my sister about the baby

[Zcity]

She's gorgeous, 14 months old. She will shuffle on her bum to get around a little. She cannot crawl at all, or stand by herself, she has no inclination to move really, she's very happy just sat on a mat.

I do not have children and Google tells me very different things but I'm worried (as is our mum) as she said to me that baby should be crawling at least.

DM bought the subject up with her but she said she had been to the GP and GP said it's fine as she can stand unsupported- but thing is, she can't. She cannot stand by herself, if you gently pull her up so she's standing she will need to lean against something (sofa) and she only stays upright for seconds until her legs buckle.

Would you be concerned or am I overstepping as loving auntie and wind my neck in? All babies are different, which I understand! Maybe just a late walker? Hoping for reassurance!

Totally normal. All children are different. My daughter was walking confidently at 10 months (nightmare!) My youngest sister did not walk whatsoever until she was 26 months!

I’m going to go slightly against the grain here.

Not being able to fully weight bear at 14 months can indicate a variety of things. It can be normal. But it can also not. Which you know. As does your mum. Hence it’s come up.

So don’t push her. But be aware. Acting like it’s definitely nothing is no worse than acting like it’s definitely something.

Also, there is an unhelpful year between now and the earliest time she is due any kind of developmental check and if she’s not in nursery there will be no one professional monitoring.

Nailed it. Well said.

no. Not all do it in their own time.

My DW tells me she was the same. She’s perfectly mobile now!

I’ve worked with babies and toddlers for twenty years and this is totally within the normal range. They all develop at their own pace and most children have one area of development that they are slower at to start with, but catch up when they are ready. I had a baby who didn’t crawl or shuffle at all, then at 19 months just got up and started walking one day. I’ve had toddlers who barely said a word until they were two/three but then suddenly didn’t stop talking once they were ready.
It’s natural to worry when it’s a child that you love, but please let her Mum get on with it herself. She’s already seen GP and HV who I’m sure won’t be concerned until at least 18+ months. I think you would upset and concern her unnecessarily if you raise the subject. If she comes to you with concerns please reassure her that it is totally within the normal range at 14m.

can she weight bear ok? My DD didn’t walk till 16 months, didn’t bum shuffle, didn’t crawl. When she was 10 months health visitor said she should be able to weight bear & I was told to keep trying her & bring her to the clinic every 2 weeks. Once she was weight bearing, health visitor wasn’t concerned

Both mine were late developers.

my dd didn’t walk until nearly 2, she couldn’t stand until 21 months and I kept taking her to the HV who said they don’t refer for late walking until 2. You would hardly know now she’s 7. She does have hypermobility.

anyway, I’m sure your sister is aware herself and she doesn’t need everyone else telling her - honestly other people commenting on your children’s milestones is the worst feeling.

there is a huge range of normal at this age.

my youngest sister never crawled, she bum shuffled instead. I think she was just lazy at times.

I’m going to hide this thread now. I can’t bear seeing post after post pop up on my ‘threads I’m on’ confidently declaring that this child is definitely absolutely fine. If I had listened to those people when my son was 14 months he wouldn’t be able to walk now at the age of four. I’m not suggesting that this applies to OP’s niece but neither can anyone else say the opposite in all certainty.

As @DuchessOfPaddington has observed, the poor advice on this thread has already caused OP to shut down and dismiss her sister’s concerns when she tried to raise them. I hope she is still reading and will re-evaluate in future.

The question is what dioes she do that is ahead of her peers, there will be something. Talk more, draw more, eat better? They all do this in their own good time. Mine didn't say anything u til nearly 3 years old, then slept for a week and started talking like me. Bt she cd run like me at 10 months. So nothing to worry about!

YABU but I can see your heart is in the right place 😊

Really grateful for your post and advice, will absolutely note this, thank you.

Again, thank you for the replies and reassurance that's it's likely normal - will take my sister's lead and mum has agreed to do the same :)

Loving the sweet stories about those that were 'late' walkers, very cute to think of so many little ones suddenly finding their feet!

Mind your own business 😅
6 kids and all moved and walked at v different times and 2 super late (2/2.5) who are now running for their county 😅

I wouldn't worry, according to my mother who loves to bring this up every opportunity. I didn't start walking or talking till I was nearly 3. Then she hasn't been able to shut me up since!
I was a second child, who had a sister 18 months older, who would fetch and carry for me.
If the doctor says she OK, I am sure they will keep an eye on her progress.

I really hope you're okay! I absolutely will take my sister's lead, I've just updated that I'll not outwardly dismiss anything, it's obviously on her radar too -- but I won't bring it up either, I don't need to poke my beak in!

I can see it's a fine line and actually if I take this stance with most baby related things then I'll stay being wholly supportive and not risk upsetting a fab mum.

😂

Wind your neck in.

My DD bum shuffled until 16 months then walked. She never learned to crawl. She’s now 9 and We’ve just got back from her spending 90 minutes running like a loon around a footie pitch so it seriously doesn’t matter a jot and the chances of it being a mobility issue or too slim to worry about at her age.

None of your business really. The child is being cared for so that’s all that should matter to you. Even if the baby is a late developer, there’s nothing really to be done. Your sister could very rightly lose her shit with you for overstepping the mark.

Haven’t RTFT but did read the first 100 replies, and am fascinated by the difference between bum-shuffling and crawling, how some babies do one and some do both, and the apparent correlation between bum-shuffling and later walking. I wonder what drives babies to do one and not the other?

@ kindercup Why are people being so rude? It’s her niece of course she can wonder. You are commenting on her niece and her situation too and you are a stranger on the internet. This entire website is dedicated to commenting opinions on others situations.. what a bizarre comment.

My sis is footie mad so she'd love nothing more than watching little one run around a pitch when she's older, this made me really smile!

One of mine sat on their bum until 17 months. My mil repeatedly made remarks about how it wasn’t right and my child wasn’t reaching their milestones and used to crawl up and down their hall and talk loudly at my child to get them to copy her. Speaking as a mum of a similar baby I would politely suggest that you say nothing.

Not fully weight bearing at that age can be a cause for concern so I would keep a watchful eye. It doesn't matter if a child doesn't walk until later but weight bearing is expected at 12 months.

Neither did mine! He bum shuffled but didn’t cruise nor stand independently. Just stood up one day two weeks before his second birthday and started walking.

My eldest never did the traditional all four/ on knees crawling she bum shuffled. So not ‘crawling’ is nothing to worry about.

My youngest had problems standing/waking as she was tiny. She wasn’t tall enough to pull herself up to standing using the furniture. We had to kneel on the floor to hold her hands to encourage the standing.
Took her until 18mths to walk. Then she ran everywhere.

Your sister would be perhaps better asking the HV rather than the GP for advice on things to help encourage standing and moving.
Does she get lifted alot or travel in car/buggy frequently. ?
She might just be used to that and that’s why things are a bit delayed. Or it could be something more.