To say something to my sister about the baby

[Zcity]

She's gorgeous, 14 months old. She will shuffle on her bum to get around a little. She cannot crawl at all, or stand by herself, she has no inclination to move really, she's very happy just sat on a mat.

I do not have children and Google tells me very different things but I'm worried (as is our mum) as she said to me that baby should be crawling at least.

DM bought the subject up with her but she said she had been to the GP and GP said it's fine as she can stand unsupported- but thing is, she can't. She cannot stand by herself, if you gently pull her up so she's standing she will need to lean against something (sofa) and she only stays upright for seconds until her legs buckle.

Would you be concerned or am I overstepping as loving auntie and wind my neck in? All babies are different, which I understand! Maybe just a late walker? Hoping for reassurance!

my dd2 didn't crawl, didn't bum shuffle and didn't cruise, showed no inclination of doing these things at 14/15 or really 16 months. At 17 months she walked, it hasn't affected her in any way. Her older sister walked at 12 months

tbh it wasn't a worry as she seemed fine, they don't all read the manual

If they bum shuffle, there is no need to crawl because it’s actually more effective as they can carry something in one hand. DD2 was a bum shuffler from 11 months, walked holding my hand at 14 maths and independently at 16 months. Now a healthy and sporty 19 year old .

My first born never bothered with crawling. Just started walking at about 19 months. He now has a PhD and teaches in university

I’m fascinated that you are downsizing your own job to provide three days of childcare a week and your mum two days so your sister whose baby it is can continue to work full time.

18 months is the cut off to at least start thinking about onward referral for late walking, crawling is not a developmental milestone and can be absent without causing concern.

I think the key is supporting your sister with her worries without amplifying them. So not dismissing them with the usual ‘it will all be fine’ and perhaps just reassure her she was completely right to raise it with the professionals and maybe she could ask them for a set time frame to arrange review of things haven’t progressed. Sounds like her mum radar is fully loaded and she knows that it’s useful to keep an eye on progress without thinking every child meets set rigid timeframes.

she'll be fine, bum shufflers do tend to walk later no idea why but they do. both my children and me were all bum shufflers and later walkers. we all get there in the end.

My DD was late walking as she had some hyper mobility in her ankles. Luckily MIL was a child physio and said try to get boots for her and that her swimming and ballet lessons would all help towards her mobility.

one of my nieces never crawled at all. She bounced everywhere on her bottom. It was quite funny actually, the more happy/excited she was the higher she would bounce! She walked fine, and there were no concerns. She 12 now, it’s not held her back in anyway.

I think your post comes from a place of love, so to speak , which is lovely - but don’t say anything. Your sister is aware that there might be an issue, so saying anything is not going to expedite the issue, but just make her feel rubbish.

My 3 are 19, 17 and 10. First 2 crawled at 8 months, walked around 12 months. Last one bum shuffled, didn’t walk until 16 months, and walks/ runs fine. Think I would
have worried about her if dc1, but by dc3 I’d read that GP not bothered until 18 months, so just parked it.

Don't say anything. My baby bum shuffled and somebody said to me ''you know that is a sign of autism right''. I was so taken aback, I didn't think she was right, but I was shocked and annoyed and on the inside I was feeling very defensive. It turned out she was right, but I guess it is 'mild'. he's not delayed but he doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do.

Not read the full thread.
Does she have a particularly long back? I have short legs and a long back and didn’t sit up until 13 months old. By 15 months I was walking steadily on my own.

I’m sure she’ll be keeping an eye on her development. They do just go at their own pace

Bum shuffling is actually considered a method of crawling, so she's moving around which is good.

My DD is 15 and a half months and isn't walking yet. She's only just started standing unsupported but she's seen a physiotherapist and she's fine, she's still within the normal range. It's not really flagged up until a baby is 18 months and isn't walking and even then it can be normal so just enjoy your niece, she'll catch up eventually.

I'm glad I'm not the only person fascinated by the Op dropping a day a week to childmind for her DS.

I really think that is above and beyond what most siblings would do.

I just hope Op doesn't expect the same level of help when or if she has a child herself.

Hey @Zcity you just described now 5 year old daughter.....she was a bum shuffler and never crawled! We became concerned at 15 months that she wasn't standing unaided and was making absolutely no attempt to cruise etc. I spoke to HV who told me that NHS don't consider it a problem until a bit later so no help available (in my area).

My DD is double jointed. The reason she wouldn't stand etc is because of this is transpired! When she was 18 months old I took her to our local independent shoe shop (having researched lots on how we could help her) to have a pair of kickers style ankle boots fitted properly to see if this would help.

I brought her (and her new boots haha) home and she went walking down my hallway with her walker. Within 30 mins she'd worked out that this was great fun and was running round with it. I was absolutely gobsmacked!!!!! A week later she was walking on her own (so long as her boots were on lol)

As I said she's now 5, still hypermobile but completely fine!

My first never crawled. Just bum-shuffled. I was very aware it was different, not as useful for getting around as crawling (you can't easily bum-shuffle up a step), I saw all her friends first steps videos, getting first shoes and enjoying soft-play. She just stood up and walked steadily 18 months.

Our son hardly crawled and went straight to walking at 17 mos. I’d leave it.

My kids are nearly 15 and 17. Neither could ever crawl. The one who's nearly 15 didn't walk until she was about 19 months old. the other walked at 13/14 months.

I would just be really careful what you say. There could be a problem, there might not be.

Not all babies crawl. Many go from bum shuffling straight to walking well within the 12-18 month time frame most babies start walking in.

Bum shufflers tame to walk later. Mine didn't walk till 22 months and another a week before turning 2.

Tend not tame

At this stage totally normal! My daughter didn’t crawl or bum shuffle and didn’t walk without holding a hand until she was 17 months then one day she went off on her own and didn’t wobble or fall only a few days later was running (well toddling fast as they do). She just didn’t want to let go until she was fully ready. She’s not at all behind in anything and never was (she’s 7 now). She was just a late walker as was cautious. The health visitor was never concerned.

The bouncing sounds so cute! And fab to have such an experienced MIL :)

In general I'd say that of course and aunt shouldn't poke her nose in. But...

I think that as the OP looks after her niece for three days a week, she can actually (though very carefully) mention her observations. After all, a decent childminder or nursery would.

My dd never crawled and didn't "turn over" and didn't walk until 19 months. She did however speak in full sentences at 12 months. She just sat there, fattest baby ever, and ordered everyone around..."put my milk here now!"
At 19 months she just stood up and walked perfectly (skipped the toddling part). At 20 years old she continues to order everyone around...boyfriends are judged on their ability to bring her coffee in bed. She also is slim and has a job where she is on her feet walking for 16 hour shifts.

Having said that, I agree with the others that it's probably more useful to your sister to review what she is specifically worried about and help her research that, rather than dismissing her concerns. There is nothing like a mother's instinct, even a first time parent. In my case, my ds (my first) has mitochondrial disease which wasn't diagnosed until he was almost 11. I had been pointing out symptoms from when he was a few months old that were constantly dismissed by medical professionals (with an implication of Munchausen by Proxy) and other parents were forever telling me that his symptoms were "normal" which they weren't. Ds might not be struggling so much now as a young adult, if he had received treatment earlier for his disease.

This was true for several babies in our family. My son was a mover, but was also able to communicate well with baby signing. He babbled as a baby but seemed to get stuck at about 10 words. It was worrying as he could sign 100 words and simple sentences and his dad started saying I should stop signing as I had taught him there was no need to speak.

Then one day the boy who said mumum, dada, hi, bye, no, up, yum and v little else said "I have sannich too" one lunch time, then told me just ham, no cheese, asked for more bubbries and thanked me after his lunch. I was so shocked!

Well hopefully by the time your niece is 9 women’s football will be even bigger than it’s become lately, and girls take up rates will be the same as boys! DD absolutely loves it it’s really improved her fitness and love for sport

IME you get walkers and talkers, is she ahead with her talking and/or fine motor skills/social skills?

This is so true.

My DD never crawled and didn’t walk until 16mo. But she said her first word (not just a sound like ‘mama’) at 10m and was saying sentences at about 14/15 months.

Then DS came along, crawled at 9mo, walked at 11mo IIRC and then just said ‘ugh’ til he was 2 🤣🤣