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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tell me your problem, I'll tell you how to fix it or whether or not you're BU

117 replies

solutioner · 26/02/2023 23:06

Try me

OP posts:
whatchaos · 27/02/2023 22:26

I haven't really spoken to my sister properly other than pleasantries in front of other people for 2-3 years. She bullied me terribly when I was younger and has always been deeply overbearing and controlling. The final straw was when she was berating me over something tiny and for the first time ever I asked her (politely) via text to please stop undermining me or we couldn't have a proper adult relationship. She just said 'whatever'.
I know my mum would love us to get along again but I've no idea how to tackle it with the sister. Do I just accept we'll never have a relationship? Can't say I miss the controlling and corrective behaviour but I now have v little contact w my nephew and niece who I was once close to and my dcs miss them.

indieray · 27/02/2023 22:29

@whatchaos how strange we are talking about our strained relationships with our sisters! 🤣

DancingDonkeys · 27/02/2023 22:36

Thank you so much OP!

whatchaos · 27/02/2023 22:40

indieray · 27/02/2023 22:29

@whatchaos how strange we are talking about our strained relationships with our sisters! 🤣

Oh I've just seen yours! Good luck - hope you get a helpful answer!

indieray · 27/02/2023 23:30

I know I first saw it like ummmm 🤨 did I just write this 🤪hope you get a good answer too ! The OP has had lots of questions so I hope we can get to ours too ! Op seems very good and level headed! @solutioner

Mybumlooksbig · 28/02/2023 00:21

I've got £2 in my bank and don't get paid for 2 weeks. Feel like the worst parent ever that things have got so bad.

solutioner · 28/02/2023 00:24

Mybumlooksbig · 28/02/2023 00:21

I've got £2 in my bank and don't get paid for 2 weeks. Feel like the worst parent ever that things have got so bad.

Could you apply for a budgeting advance from UC?

OP posts:
VonHorne · 28/02/2023 00:32

Love this thread!

I’ve had a horrible couple of years, bereavement, illness has taken its toll. I was getting back on track, but have struggled since Xmas. What can I do to motivate myself? Overcome anxiety? Also panicking about a new job that I start next week and also feeling rubbish for having gained weight and not being my usual bright energetic motivated self - feel like life is for other people atm.

cassiatwenty · 28/02/2023 00:33

Can I ask a question too @solutioner or are you burnt out? I don't have one clearly formulated right now but I think something might come up in a few days xx

solutioner · 28/02/2023 00:37

cassiatwenty · 28/02/2023 00:33

Can I ask a question too @solutioner or are you burnt out? I don't have one clearly formulated right now but I think something might come up in a few days xx

Yes ofcourse, ask away!

Just putting my son to sleep (terrible sleepless nights because of teething pain) so I'm not ignoring the messages, will reply as possible x

OP posts:
stressedoutstudent · 28/02/2023 00:42

After a 5.5 year wait, ive been offered a council house. Ive been privately renting since the break down of my marriage, and me and my children have lived in 3 houses in that time, this will be our 4th. Im still single in all that time, dad not involved (his choice), im a full time student nurse, with a part time job, and solely financially responsible for 3 expensive, growing, teenage children.

I need a cooker, a washing machine, the place needs flooring as its crap atm, all 3 need beds, i also need a new bed, min is currently held up by plastic tubs, we will need curtains and the likes, a sofa too. Plus actual moving costs as i dont drive to even move some of it. All of this currently feels impossible as i just dont have the money for it.

Now, the AIBU. My 14 year olds school shoes split before the half term break, lord knows what she does to shoes, these were adidas leather trainer style ones, not cheapy ones, but beside the point. I sent her today in trainers, with a note explaining i have the above happening and whilst i understand shoes are important, they are less important right now than moving and getting essentials. School proceeded to phone me to ask when i could get shoes. Now forgive me if IABU, but, dont schools have an social care-esque obligation to ensure their students are looked after in a warm, suitable home? Wouldnt offering maybe some support, or even just some bloody empathy, be the priority, over a kid wearing black trainers for a while?

whatchaos · 28/02/2023 01:01

indieray · 27/02/2023 23:30

I know I first saw it like ummmm 🤨 did I just write this 🤪hope you get a good answer too ! The OP has had lots of questions so I hope we can get to ours too ! Op seems very good and level headed! @solutioner

I didn't even see yours first! Sisters eh?!

Whydoievenbother · 28/02/2023 01:13

Husband became useless after DC was born and I have huge resentment. I have talked to him and he's stepped up, but I'm struggling to get over him basically abandoning me when I needed it most. It has seriously affected how I think about him and I'm not sure how to get past it (sorry, was this meant to be light-hearted).

berrycakeandcustard · 28/02/2023 08:58

This is such a lovely thread and you're a lovely person @solutioner to start this and give such kind and thoughtful advice to others💐

JustForThisOneTime · 28/02/2023 09:53

Both my kids need someone to stay with them till they fall asleep. Dd6 is scared to even be on her own anywhere so I can't ask her to wait anywhere else in the house till I've put the toddler (20months) to bed. Also both kids wake up a lot in the night and then need someone to stay with them till they are asleep again. How do I get them to fall asleep on their own without making them cry. Dh is going away for work for a week and I don't know how I'll put them to bed. My only solution is for all of us to sleep in the same room on mattresses. Is there a better solution?

JustForThisOneTime · 28/02/2023 10:03

solutioner · 27/02/2023 21:35

This forum has helped me a lot through many of my hardships, so thought I would try to pay it forward!

Op, I doubt you'll be able to answer my question seeing you've got so many others to answer first and also it's an age old problem that no one in the world has really found a good answer to but I want to say that I feel a little bit happier today after having read what you said above. It's always nice knowing you live in a world where there are good people trying to do good things.

aluvss · 28/02/2023 13:22

These answers sound like they came from ChatGPT

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