Tell me your problem, I'll tell you how to fix it or whether or not you're BU

[solutioner]

Try me

I'm so sorry to hear that - it can be really heartbreaking to see a friend going through serious health problems.

What kind of support have you been providing your friend so far?

ChatGPT? 🤔

Thanks @solutioner I think I know what's important in life but fear of change is holding me back. I'll make that list & figure out the figures & if we can make it comfortably work.

I don't think ChatGPT is programmed to answer personal concerns. If you want a poem written or a research paper written by it, sure. But it lacks a bit in empathy lol
I use it a lot in programming

Good luck!!

Why do men on MN thinking they are here to be allies?

Think that they are protecting us from sex pests? Because not all men right? But who are men protecting us from really?

Think that they can and do emphasises and sympathise with us?

Think that they can solve our problems?

Please tell me what to do with my life.

I'm fed up of being a SAHM. I feel like I have no purpose now that all my children are at secondary school and 6th form college.

I feel like I need a career (not a job) to focus on, but I don't know what.

I have no qualifications other than decent GCSEs obtained 25 years ago and shitty A Level grades, earned 23 years ago.

If it helps... I don't want to be a social worker, a teacher, a nurse or a doctor.

I would like to earn a decent amount of money because I'm worried if my husband dies, I won't be able to keep up with the standard of living my children are used to. And yes, we have insurance policies for both of us, but, they pay off the mortgage, they don't pay for things to be fixed or pay for our house to be heated.

Thank you @solutioner x

Not sure if your answer would be different but it wouldnt be a new new car - it would be a 2nd hand one. New to me! But good advice, thanks 😊

That's a very good question.

I think that a lot of men who claim to be allies on forums like this one end up being very ineffective. They say whatever seems like it's the right thing to say without actually putting in the effort to understand and help out. I also think that a lot of men use the phrase "not all men" as a way to avoid doing the difficult work it takes to actually become an ally - that's much easier than actually holding other men accountable for their behaviour.

My granddaughter is morbidly obese, few friends, low self esteem and working a dead end job. Becoming depressed. Her mother is also obese and enables her daughter’s self destructive behaviour. She won’t let anyone discuss it. We desperately want to help them both but don’t know how. Is there anything we can do other than just be there, love them and support them?

Sorry, I meant "new" car as car that is not your current one. Even the used car market is really overpriced right now sadly

No worries x hope I helped a bit

Have you ever looked into becoming a therapist?

It would fit both your need to do something which is more involved than a job, but also allows you to still be flexible about working hours and your time spent working.

It might also align well with your personal circumstances in terms of experience and in terms of your current level of education.

If that's not something you'd be keen on, do you feel that you'd prefer to work in an office or a workshop environment? Or would you prefer something which offers a mix of both?

Do you have any particular opinions about working outdoors at all?

What was the most important aspect of your A levels - was it the content or the social aspects of being around your peers? If you were to go back to university to get some additional credentials, would you choose to do an online program or an in-class program?

I work as a freelance software developer, and none of my clients have ever asked to look at my credentials or my diplomas. They want to see my portfolio and what I can do for them, how I can solve their problems. There are many resources online, you can train for many jobs without having traditional qualifications, especially in the tech field!

Alternatively, I would look into the open university, they offer online and fully flexible degrees and they don't have any entry requirements for their bachelor programs for instance

My five year old hates sleep. She hates her bed and sleeps on the floor. Simply refuses to go near the bed.

i move her on to her mattress when she’s asleep. she shouts at me for doing it every morning. But the thought of her sleeping on the cold hard floor makes me so sad.

do I leave her to it? Or do I keep moving her?

I have had a few eating disorders in the past and have met and spoken to many people on both ends of the spectrum (dangerously low weight and morbid obesity). It's quite tricky, but in my experience, the hardest part is helping people to find motivation - in particular, helping them to see that there are ways to change their current situation without feeling like they're failing at life.

A good step would be to find ways to get them involved in activities which help them to feel accomplished and motivated. Helping your granddaughter to find a community which she can be a part of - and not just a community based around food - would be an excellent step toward helping her to see an alternative to the situation she's in currently.

I can really sympathise with you. The number of sleepless nights I had with my son!

I would say that it depends on a couple of different factors.

On one hand, there can sometimes be a safety issue involved when children refuse to sleep in their own bed. So leaving your daughter alone on the floor may end up causing more harm than good, if that makes sense.

On the other, you definitely want to avoid developing a pattern of reinforcing her preferences by constantly giving in to them. She's very young, which means that this is a habit that you definitely want to avoid the development of - both because it's not healthy for her and because it may cause problems in the future.

A good option, I think, would be to try and come up with a special incentive or prize for when your daughter sleeps in her own bed. She's too young to understand the concept of a long-term goal, but she might be able to understand the idea of receiving a special prize or treat for a specific behaviour.

If you can find some way to reinforce this behaviour, and if you can then get her to consistently sleep on her own bed for a decent length of time, you may be able to gradually ease off the incentives until she starts to do it on her own.

I'm waiting for morning - waiting for the hospital to phone to cancel my planned hysterectomy due to cancer. Planed for the 13th - coinciding with the doctors strike.
I'm a self employed carer. I have arranged care for my clients for whilst I'm away. So I can't just go back to work as others will be expecting that money.
I can't afford more than 4 weeks off.
Support is in place for me and my household whilst I'm in hospital and post op. It's been exhausting to arrange and for various reasons can't just be rearranged.
My symptoms are getting worse by the day. I was holding on for the fact that in two weeks the end would be in sight.
I support the strikes in principle. But life is fucking me over

I really am very sorry to hear that. Do you have friends or family around you that you could reach out to in the moment? They might be able to give you some support and be able to come and sit with you while you wait. A lot of hospitals also have patient support groups or networks - it might be worth checking to see if that's something that you could reach out to.

I wish I could be there to give you a big hug and a cup of tea. It's completely understandable that you've been feeling this way at this time, and completely okay to feel alone and sad and overwhelmed right now. You're an incredibly strong person, and the way you're feeling is justified.

I'm also free to talk whenever if you need someone to talk to. my dms are open

How do I stop worrying about minor, insignificant issues that I know will get sorted eventually? I can deal with major stress logically and carefully but small hiccups in life become monsters with different scenarios that go round and round in my head.

It can sometimes help to take the "what if?" out of the equation.

I would assume these smaller issues are not life-threatening, so a better way to approach it might be to ask yourself what you'll do when things go wrong, rather than what will happen if things go wrong.

Have you found yourself getting caught up in these worries before? If so, what helped you get out of the cycle?

Still here if needs be!

I'm in love with someone whom I'm not married to. We both have kids, and we are not going to leave our families and split them up. He is divorced from his wife, but an extremely devoted father, looking after his kids all the time. It's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't want anything to change but I am finding it hard to live at this emotional temperature. I'm in my 40s. Is there anything you can suggest?

This kind of situation is always going to involve a lot of emotionality and a lot of ambiguity, but it can be worth reflecting from time to time on the practical things that you do have control over.

What are the benefits that you gain from being in this relationship? What are your worries, concerns and doubts? What are the boundaries and expectations in your current relationship, and what would your ideal state of things look like?

I have extreme anxiety and IBS. The two combined make me terrified of going anywhere in case I shit myself. I'm becoming borderline acrophobic and can't break the cycle of fear.

That sounds like an incredibly debilitating experience - to have to live with those fears and the IBS on top of them, I can only imagine how hard that must be. Do you have any idea where those specific fears might have come from? Do they relate to any bad experiences that you've had in the past? Or anything else which you think might have started you on this spiral?