To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

Think about what you are saying.

You suffer with body confidence issues and you want to post half naked photos of you on the internet so the entire world can see?

Go and read some comments on the Kardashian’s photos or any woman’s photos online and you will see vile comments which leaves even the most secure person feeling like shit.

Once they are out there you will never get them back.

Trying to find confidence in the approval of random people off the internet is not a good idea.

You say yourself that you think that they look good - why is that not enough?

I have no Idea who you are so only say this generally, would you be OK if you received negative comments?

Would it be worth it posting then?

I get the female empowerment aspect, because for me it has been life-changing to see women pose confidently with normal, very saggy bodies. I think it helped me shake off the lingering aspects of an eating disorder that took over my teens and 20s. Females especially are expected to have picture perfect bodies.

At the same time, I also get the male gaze aspect. Is one posing for oneself (which is perfectly possible), or still to look sexy for men (which is an equal likelihood)?

Anyway on the whole, my advice as repeated above is privacy settings – a very very limited circle of a few best friends whom you know you can trust, and who will be happy for you.

No, just no. I'm glad you enjoyed the shoot and are happy with the pictures. Maybe you could get them printed in a photo book. Why on earth do you equate publicly publishing pics of you in your undies with empowerment. There are 3 options here. Ask yourself, could you cope with each of them?

1. People will look and think wow they are amazing. I think it is fair to say this is the least likely option.
2. People will cringe/feel confused/make negative judgements.
3. People will perv over them.

None of these means empowerment. Some questions i am thinking. How old are you? How would you feel if you post them and someone wrote something negative? Kindly, i think you have more work to do in your self esteem to have come up with this plan. Enjoy your pictures, but don't seem them as having a place in developing your self esteem. Best wishes op.

Why don’t you choose the one that is more tasteful, like perhaps showing less the underwear and more your face and set it as your profile for a week or so and give credit to your friend, if then friend/family ask you about it you can say it has been a goal of mine for sometime to take these shots and see what happens from there

One of my colleagues posted pictures of herself in a bra and pants set on facebook. With the caption of 'treating my new man' or something like that.

Honestly not a good look for a 30 something professional. She also has everyone as fb friends - some clients, colleagues, line manager, people in rival firms, etc. That in itself had made me question her judgement- the photos cemented my view that her boundaries were skewed.

@Junglejane8

I think it's wonderful thing it's given you a much needed welcome cofindence boost,
But beware of who might see these kinds of images,
A potential future employer, ect
It might give unfortunately the wrong impression

Is it possible to ensure that you have privacy facility , so have a bit more autonomy control over 🤔 of possibly allowing limiting only certain people, being able to view these kinds of images

I used to attend life drawing classes even did it once ,
Wish I had done this when I was younger in much better health than now,

Would you Consirder being a Artistic life drawing model for either a group of artists who are learning as formal/informal students,
Or
to a be a life drawing model for one to one genuine Artist who you obviously can trust/feel comfortable with,?

Such as for e.g a well established female proffessional Artist 🎨 who i know who runs a small Art gallery,
she also creative Art workshops of most /all kinds , but also has done a raising awareness of issues for environmental, etc and for female body empowerment of natural body sizes of women,
Who would be viewed in the very narrow Western society eyes as being perfect size body shape,
Several of these women have been life models for Artistically sensual paintings,
that celebrates their curves,
Not in a male gaze, type of way, of sexualises their bodies,

I don't think these women were paid for this kind of thing,
they just did it, Cause they just liked it.

You could even request if you wanted to do be a once only life model drawing for a professional Artist,
If you could just do a one off ,
🎨 🖌, painting,
And just pay for a painting,
You put in your house,
For your eyes only basis too

You usaully get paid a minimum payment including travel expenses ,

I know a couple of people who did this recently. One went on a diet, worked out, had a makeover, and then had some saucy pictures taken in exciting positions, not wearing much. She did look stunning. The second had lots of clothes on but again had hair and makeup done and had a sort of photoshoot that would accompany a "Take a Break" article". Both splashed all over SM.

Of course, people are allowed to do whatever they like. I thought about both scenarios and I thought to myself that I would never do something like that because I don't need someone to externally tell me I am beautiful or I have a good figure. I only care what I and my immediate family think of me. I don't take myself that seriously. Some people made positive comments, but I just actually felt sorry for them and a bit embarrassed for them.

Oops I ment to say I was a life Drawing model just once,
I enjoyed it
But because of my health issues, you obviously had to stand around for a while each particular poses,
I found I was limited what I could in regard what particular pose I did,
Obviously some poses I found easier to do and stay in that position than others..

Just wondering what you think of this kind of thing?
Either being a life model or attending a life model Art classes and doing a drawing like that?

Reading your responses you’re looking for everyone to validate the decision you appear to have already made. I’m sure they’re great pictures and it’s lovely to hear how your self confidence has improved since the pictures were taken. I’d hold onto the feeling that you achieved and maybe test the water by showing some friends IRL.. I’m all for sharing what you want to share but I would wonder WTH were they thinking if one of my friends posted the type of pictures you had taken knowing family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues were going to see me in presumably lingerie. That said I’m coming from a place where I would rather cut my own arm off than pose for burlesque photos.

@Moser85
We're specifically talking about these kinds of photos being put up by random women on social media though. I expect loads have them taken for themselves and never share them. The ones that do are doing it for positive comments and to be found sexually attractive. That's the point.

Putting up photos of you in ‘burlesque’ isn’t what I’d describe as female empowerment. Why did we have burlesque in the first place?

No way! Keep them for yourself, you can display them in your home.
I do mot think that women's enpowerment has anything to do with burlesque photos, but quite the opposite. A picture of a woman in overalls fixing a jet engine covered in grease and loving it is more my kind of thing.
I do get your point about feeling great in those pictures, but for me, that is a personal private kind of thing and it has a huge value while it remains private.

My brother would completely kill me with a comment and we get on really well. I’m actually smiling at the thought of what he would come up with.

Why do you want people to see photos of you in your underwear?? Of course it’s a bad idea.

I wouldn’t. A friend posted boudoir shots on social media and it was cringeworthy, to be honest. It wasn’t how she looked that was memorable but the attention seeking purpose behind posting the pics. Her declarations of feeling “empowered” were also worthy of an eye roll.

Some people made positive comments, but I just actually felt sorry for them and a bit embarrassed for them.

This comment absolutely sums up the general feeling toward Sue from work suddenly banging up photos of herself in a thong and basque or aunt Mary posing against strong backlighting with her mouth half open twisting a Pearl necklace between her lace gloved fingers.

There will be people that post-
"wow!"
"Stunning!"
"🔥🔥🔥"
They might mean it or they might be trying to support their friend.

There will be way more people who look at it and wonder why the fuck you thought to put them up on social media.

If a colleague or acquaintance did this they’d go down in my estimation. Yes, I would think it was try hard desperate. And attention seeking.

No, just no!

Oops I ment the celebrating of all female body sizes empowerment life model artistically paintings ,
We're done as a way to celebrate and go against the all too prevailing very narrow minded and negative western societies attitudes that sexualises women in blatant /not blatant way, at any/,every opportunity
and also celebrate all women natural sizes in a way, that normally in the very minded prism of western societies of body perfection, that is extremely judgemental of women's bodies normally,

I hope that makes sense, sorry its long winded way of making a point

Wow, there are so many good comments here.
this post is great too, it’s incredibly annoying that so many female presenters have to show off their bodies but the male ones don’t. Beautifully put. Also agree re carol vorderman! Just stop it carol! No one wants to see apart from in a ‘how much has she had done’ kind of way, certainly not in a gosh, what an interesting strong woman kind of way. You reduce yourself to being an object to be judged.

Once you post on social media, you lose control and ownership of those photos. People can screenshot and share. I teach 11 year olds about this. Keep the photos for your own enjoyment and empowerment in private.

Oops omitted to say in blatantly/and covert blatantly way

Agree.

Those women on SM posting underwear pics for likes might be confident, but the far greater likelihood is that their self esteem rests entirely on the dopamine hit of the like button.

You don't understand feminism.