To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

If being seen semi naked was really perceived as empowering and powerful we'd be really inundated with photos of Obama and Zelensky in thongs.

And who does show off half naked? Putin.

A man with such low self esteem he had to invade a country to feel like a big man.

Oh God, I have second hand embarrassment thinking about it, specially showing guesses the one wearing a thong and high boots, what did you dad think about it, you and your siblings must have been mortified 🫣

No you'd just be perpetuating the judgement of women's bodies.

Brilliant example for all young women. How far we've advanced.

It’s a terrible idea. Keep them private or show a few trusted friends.

For goodness sake don't post them on any social media. They will be online forever and snyone can access them. There may come a time when you don't want that kind of image of yourself online. Keep them for private enjoyment.

Precisely

I had the same thought.

No, photos of you in your undies is really not something you need to be sharing online. You say you're working on your self esteem so why are you seeking validation.

It is mumsnet to be fair. I predicted the answers before I'd finished reading your OP!

I wouldn't post them on my general social media but I would start a blog/ insta for body empowerment and post them on there. Then link it to regular social media and say what it is.

Just shields the parents from having to see it if they don't want to, and also means you can use a tag taht isn't searchable by employers etc.

Good luck and enjoy it!

Some random Internet creep complimenting a headless shot of a lass in her pants is not my idea of a compliment!!

@ StalkedbyaSpider
I totally agree 💯 per cent with your very insightful/intelligent comment,
Yeah finally I am coming across women who 🤔 think/see in a similar ways to myself,

Prwwfff what a relief

Following on from your comment, I also think Maddonna and Katie Price ect,who have obviously fallen hook line and sinker for this idea of allways being relevant to male gaze,
In that she allways has to constantly be sexualises herself,
How empowering really is that attitude to herself ?
let alone to any other women,
who she said to be a iconic figure of women empowerment?
I really I am seeing now and for a while,
For what it really is,
it's just a illusion, that is really what it is, !!!

Why is trapped and indenial like so many certain famous women are in endless cycle of feeling her primarily sense of worth is to be sexually relevant to menfolk,
even if it means, disfiguring yourself under cosmetic surgeons ,
Like a puppet, who I amagine are usaully male,
How empowering in reality,
Is body Dsymphoria syndrome ?

I used to believe in all that Guff that Maddonna was relevant in a sexual way,
When I was growing up as a teenager way back in 80s,
Whilst day dreaming on the train like that scene of the title film "woman on a train", film

I had a enlightening moment
When I thought like this

Seeing a soft-focus photo of a woman in lingerie on social media with a caption describing female empowerment just sounds all wrong. If I had my hiring manager hat on I would question her judgement. If you have nice photos of yourself, keep them for you and your partner (or future partner). Posting them on social media only serves to highlight your insecurities and comes across as attention-seeking. It's even possible that you may receive negative comments and it'll only undo all of the good work you've done on yourself. I just wouldn't.

Once something is on the Internet it stays on the Internet so personally I wouldn't. I would ask why you want to put them out there. Is it for the likes and would you constantly be checking to see who likes it? If so it isn't about empowerment but low self esteem in which case there are better ways to boost it then share intimate photos

I’ve never understood how flaunting your body to all and sundry is seen as empowering. I see it as the the very opposite and find it sad that women have been conditioned into thinking that the only way to feel good about themselves is to get their tits and arsed out.

I wouldn't unless you want a million men sliding into your dms and sending dick pics. The majority if not all who will be weirdos or married

@Paq
Exactly 💯 per cent 👍 agree 😆😆😆

No. You are not being self empowering or being brave, seeking validation online after any kind of ‘glow up’ is insecurity pure and simple.
posing in your underwear is ridiculous IMHO. No-one wants to see you in your pants and bra outside of the people you’re intimate with, none of your friends do.
I’d say the same if a man BTW, though there’s less pressure on men to be doing this kind of thing.

This OP. It’s really hard because even those full of confidence seek external validation. We’re human!! It’s why social media does so well, it focuses on people’s need for constant validation.

Once you start working on you (I definitely recommend therapy for getting to the core of your lack of self belief and acceptance) once you start untangling all that’s behind your perception of your self, honestly you’ll look back and think omg why did I do that shoot? Why did I even think about posting those photos?

Dig deep OP, forget posting the photos (lots of reasons as PPs have said) but for your own strength, well-being and self worth don’t post them on-line. It’ll have the opposite affect on your self worth and self esteeen. Go well OP, go strong be great!

I think it's very interesting what a pp said upthread about it being different if you, say, post a holiday photo in your swimwear. A casual holiday snap is a world away from this artificially created sexy boudoir scenario. Once you post something like this online, you're inviting people - everyone - to view you in a sexual way. Do you really want that? Do you really want everyone you know to make a decision about whether they think you're sexy?

I wouldn’t op

Don’t post them. If they made you feel great, then remember that feeling and embrace it.
Generally speaking it would make me feel a bit uncomfortable to see a former colleague/ friend/ relation in a boudoir shoot on social media.
Employers do look, once those photos are out there, there is not much to retrieve them. Would you like the pics saved for someone’s wank bank?
Worst of all when someone wants attention, what if you don’t get lots of ‘Sue, you look amazing’ and several 🔥 comments, what if you don’t get any reaction at all?
Working on self esteem doesn’t just mean taking your clothes off for likes I’m afraid.

Post what you like but I personally wouldn’t. But then I’m not a fan of posting on social media, it’s all attention seeking nonsense in my view.

Posting gorgeous photos of yourself and getting likes may make you feel great but I wonder if seeing you looking so great will make someone else feel rubbish. Its a vicious circle. What you’ve learnt from this experience is that you too can look like a magazine perfect model with the help of a skilled photographer, Photoshop, filters etc etc so you can confidently take perfect images of perfect looking people with a pinch of salt from now on.

Posting the photos on social media is about wanting and needing external validation. It's the exact opposite of having a strong inner sense of confidence and self-worth.

Think about what you hope to achieve.
Lots of positive feedback? Great - except you're now even more dependent on what other people think.
Lots of negative feedback? Is likely to feel very damaging for you, plus you're still hooked in to external opinions.
What is your strategy to cope with either outcome?

Plus all pp very valid points about who will be able to see these photos, forever, and what they might do with them.

Hang beautiful framed enlargements of the photos in your home and enjoy in private. Work with a therapist on your self esteem. Start there.