To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

@VioletaDelValle You don't sound it I'm afraid. You're not open minded enough to engage with with what other people are saying or consider other viewpoints.

Nice attempt at gaslighting, unlike you I’ve been following and posting in the thread since the beginning (I’m a photographer shooting models and this subject matter is of interest to me) engaging with people who share my view points and those who don’t. I believe it’s an interesting debate where the different opinions gets shared and discussed. We’re both entitled to expressing our different opinions.

‘Misuse of social media’. What a dismissive term, tbh. That’s not what their offence is/was!

Let’s engage respectfully. Honestly we women do ourselves no favours arguing and fighting instead of focusing on where the problem lies. This is what I mean, though - look for what actually happens, not the flowery words people use to describe what the world should be like and how it should work. It doesn’t work that way. It never will.

Wishing everyone well. @Maireas I’ll see you on the other side!

Yes everyone be a good girl now and listen to mummy, no fighting in the case the boys think it makes you look stupid.

What? Ok...

Thank you!
A sobering note: I've been teaching for 40 years. I've never known girls to be so sexualised.

Very patronising tone to your post.

Lingerie photos shoots should be left in 2013 where they reaches their peak.

Dont do it, you’ll regret it this time next year.

Nice attempt at gaslighting, unlike you I’ve been following and posting in the thread since the beginning (I’m a photographer shooting models and this subject matter is of interest to me) engaging with people who share my view points and those who don’t. I believe it’s an interesting debate where the different opinions gets shared and discussed. We’re both entitled to expressing our different opinions.

I've been following this thread from he beginning too. We are both entitled to our views but you do seem unwilling to acknowledge that others people might have valid viewpoints.

This is also a subject which is of great interest to me and I'm currently being paid to research this in order to be able to provide support, advice and resources to those professionals who support people (primarily young people) in gaining employment. This is a big deal and it is impacting the employability prospects of significant numbers of people ( mainly young women). It also impacts mental health.

I agree with you that views will change as Gen Z and Alpha grow up and progress through their careers. However, we're not there yet and there will be some sectors who are unlikely to ever embrace this. People need to understand this.

Not sure why an old user name is popping up.....might be cos i'm using an old laptop?

I'd say 2003!

You are likely to get judgement in both directions OP.
The nice comments will be great I'm sure but the not so nice ones might be upsetting.
Personally I don't think it's empowering to put sexualised photos of myself in the public domain so it wouldn't be for me.
I'd see this as courting objectification and would be somewhat concerned if my friends did this.

That's why it's so important for girls to develop robust self esteem, not to be duped into sending these images through a mistaken sense of validation and normality.
Agreed.
Who benefits from the endless messaging that sexual images of women and girls is a positive and empowering step? It's not women and girls.

Dressing up the same old sexist stuff as empowerment hasn't empowered women and girls. It's just set the bar that's what's expected and anyone who sees the crap for what it is is anti-empowernent/boring/pearl clutching.

When grown women think putting sexually suggestive photos online is empowering and boys have access to a huge range of pornography, is it any wonder we've got girls feeling crap about themselves?

@Eyerollcentral Ah entirely unintended I promise! It’s earnestness combined with my speaking/writing style that’s all and often comes across like lecturing but I don’t mean it that way! DH and DDs tease me about it constantly as I always sound like I think I’m talking to toddlers! I don’t think that at all. But it does reflect a background in early years/education/child development. I try to mitigate but when I’m discussing serious things it happens a lot.

I think your comment was unfair though given what I’ve actually said on this this thread - I certainly don’t advocate pandering to boys/men.

OP saying every in their midlife crisis for saying don’t do it 😳 I would have thought, being the same age as me (mid twenties) you’d have seen the ice amount of girls who posted these cringe photos on Facebook not so long after leaving school/college and how utterly awkward they look for everyone else.

why not have them framed and put up in your house instead for all your nearest and dearest to see? (Don’t do this either)

(And English also isn’t my first language so sometimes tone may be slightly different to what I intend)

Anyway i’ll leave you all to it now! Argue disrespectfully if you wish!

Pay attention to your husband and daughter.

Mid 20s is not even close to mid-life unless you only plan to live to 50.

Honestly, OP, you came on to ask if it was a good idea. The VAST majority of people told you it was a horrendous idea. So you've thrown a strop and flounced off saying you're going to post them anyway. Then WHY ASK?! What a waste of time.

also OP, for what it might be worth. I used to suffer terribly with anxiety and self confidence issues- around about the same time I was always being pestered for ‘nudes’ or a photo of my bra/pants and told I should be ‘flattered’ for them wanting to see and keep a picture.

I sent one picture to a fairly long term boyfriend, it ended up on Twitter when we ended our relationship, as a threat for not wanting to get back together.

the ONLY time I’ve felt empowered is now; knowing I have never again been pressured by anyone to do anything I don’t want to do just to feel loved, wanted or validated.

the only time I’ve felt empowered is knowing I have control of my body; and despite that one incident many years ago. My now partner suggested once that I send him a picture, and after telling him no, I don’t send photos of my body - he has never once asked again and that is validation for me and my feelings.

my point is; only you can give yourself the validation you need to feel empowered and confident - and it’s not by uploading saucy pictures and wondering how many people have scrolled past it and wondered what their thoughts are.

I don't think this is about men...but I do think you have your head in the sand if you don't think this is about validation - you are posting on a social media platform so people can SEE you. if you didn't care whether people see you or not than you would not post them.

I don't think this is about men either, leaving them aside, I don't want to scroll past my mate in her pants whilst I'm eating my cornflakes first thing. I've got one FB friend who took a picture of herself in bed which was bad enough, jeez. FB is about catching up with things that are actually happening in people's lives, not weirdly self centered pictures of them in soft focus draped on the bed or whatever.

Put them up on here with your face blurred out OP, after nearly 40 pages we're probably all mildly curious!

Very contradictory post. This is like saying “I don’t want to see a car crash but let me tweak the curtain a bit so I see what’s going on”.

Apparently you ‘re absolutely not interest in someone’s cheesy soft focus boudoir shot (because that’s not what you want to scroll through when you eat your corn flakes but you’re asking the OP to post hers?. Oh the double standards. Are you not eating your cornflakes now that’s why you’re asking?

They can do. I've done boudoir with a incredibly talented photographer, he's a master craftsman of the guild of photographers as well as multi award winning and a fellow for the society of wedding and portrait photographers
Got some absolutely beautiful photos

But you would think they are great. That's the whole point, people put them online because they think they look amazing.