To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

The vast majority of us do not live in public in our underwear.

And an awful lot of teens now are totally anti SM. None of my teens or their friends have any public accounts, only very tight private networks. They don't post their dinner or their selfies anywhere, and they would rather die than post lingirie shots online.

they would rather die than post lingirie shots online.

When I was a teen I would rather die than do a lot of things that I don’t think twice about now.

@Maireas Why does it have to be sexualised images of yourself though?

And why not? Like cat pics, parties and your last achievement (whatever that might be) sexuality is part of our existence. Social media is like a big window shop were everyone shows off. "Look at my cat" "Look at my cute baby taking his first steps" "Look how hot I am" Me, me, me, look at me, 😂Some people will seek validation through their cat, others through their cute baby, other through their party pics and others through their hot bod. I really don't think it's that much of a big deal but then I'm quite open minded and carefree but realise not everybody is.

You're open minded and carefree?
What are you implying? That those who don't post such images are uptight - what's the phrase - "pearl clutchers"?
You know one of the worst things we're dealing with at work? Boys pressuring girls for semi naked images, and abusing them as frigid if they don't.

I think whoever described the views here as 'outdated' have hit the nail on the head.

Personally, I think anyone who posts any pics of themselves or even worse, their kids, are self absorbed and seeking validation. None of it is better or worse than lingerie pics.

@Maireas Boys pressuring girls for semi naked images, and abusing them as frigid if they don't.

im sorry to hear that, I‘be never had that problem (lucky me) but your boys at work sound like total jerks and they should be called out in their BS and matters taken to HR because that’s a form of sexual harassment.

I just don't think 'boudoir' shots ever look good. Ever. They're always done by second rate photographers and there is often an air of awkwardness in the subject.
Celebrities who post lingerie/swimsuit shots tend to be photoshopped within an inch of their lives by high quality professionals
Your average friend doing a burlesque shoot to pad out her portfolio just isn't going to create anything that great.
I'd just keep them for myself

Ok, @Sandra1984 - to clarify: I'm a teacher in a state secondary school. This is common. I only dealt with this because a yr10 girl in my class was weeping. Why? Not because she'd done it (she'd refused) but because the boy had threatened to harm himself if she didn't, and it was on her conscience.
This is not uncommon. Teen boys asking female peers for sexualised images.
Why do these teen boys think it's acceptable or even normal?

Never mind work. This happens in school. With girls being pestered for nudes and asked if they’re on OnlyFans.

’Progress’ is the shit isn’t it.

I’m open minded and carefree to an extent. Especially about what people get up to in private. However someone does actually need to ‘think of the children’ to use another oft-used dismissive term. It doesn’t bother me too much, tbh. It’s always been the way!

X post @Maireas forgot that you’re a teacher!

I don’t think many young ‘empowered’ women are aware of how truly bad it’s got to. And how much children and teenagers (of both sexes, but especially girls) are suffering and will continue to suffer. It’s very sad.

@Maireas Mary Whitehouse wasn’t entirely wrong, was she. Sobering. But that’s a discussion for another day!

Back to tiaras and Coronation prep, methinks!

You're right, @HaroldsHoodie
Teenage girls being pressured to send these images is too common. We've found that the boys use language like "it's only your underwear" or "I'd see more on the beach" etc.
They are always told that they're uptight if they refuse.

@Maireas This is not uncommon. Teen boys asking female peers for sexualised images.
Why do these teen boys think it's acceptable or even normal?

That’s pretty shocking thing to hear. I have no kids myself nor I work with them (I’m a photographer) so I have little clue what kids are up to. I hope the boy got kicked out from school, what a little psycho.

I really don't think it's that much of a big deal but then I'm quite open minded and carefree but realise not everybody is.

You don't sound it I'm afraid. You're not open minded enough to engage with with what other people are saying or consider other viewpoints.

I've done photo shoots and engaged in activities which I've found incredibly liberating and empowering but which would be considered very risqué by most people. I've never felt the need to post the details publicly as I'm self aware enough to understand the implications of doing that. That doesn't mean I'm not open minded or carefree.

Sadly it’s what happens when boys are pornsick from a very young age, and everyone everywhere is told that Sex work is work and OnlyFans is empowering. Etc etc. But it honestly makes me very sad and I can only talk about it for a little while before I need to get away and ground myself! So I’ll take myself off to S&B for a bit and detox!

And no, the boy won’t be kicked out (correct me if I’m wrong @Maireas!). It happens a lot, it’s not an isolated incident.

Nobody here gives a shit, you ASKED for opinions so you were given them.

Very out of order comparing people telling you they think it’s a bad idea to people saying girls are “asking for it” based on their outfits when sexually assaulted. It’s not a generational thing either, I’m the same age group as you and think you will be making yourself look a tit. I was raped on a night out, I’ve had the disgusting comments about how I chose to dress levelled at me and it is in no way anything comparable to your situation or what has been said to you here. I just thought you sounded a bit thick up until that comment then you became actively offensive.

Why are you even returning to list reasons why you are justified to post them? Crack on thinking you’re empowered, stick on a bit of Cardi B whilst you upload and twerk around your living room basking in the knowledge that you are a bastion of feminism and all the posters on here are stuffy pearly clutchers and oh so jealous of your bravery and freedom.

That's why it's so important for girls to develop robust self esteem, not to be duped into sending these images through a mistaken sense of validation and normality.

But before I go I just want to say @Junglejane8 i hope you see the comment I wrote about it being a very positive thing for you that the photos helped you!

I think whoever described the views here as 'outdated' have hit the nail on the head

Do you think employers who screen social media for behaviour they consider inappropriate or going against the organisation's core values are outdated?

They get suspended for "misuse of social media", but by then they'll have forwarded the images in

Forwarded the images on - sorry.

Oh well I’m glad it’s dealt with robustly at your school! However the damage to the young girls is already done.

Not much we can do, @HaroldsHoodie
However, I'll never forget the parents' reaction to their yr9 daughter posting such images unbeknownst to them. Shock doesn't describe it.