To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

I believe the big elephant in the room issue that is being discussed on this thread is : "Is taking your clothes off and flaunting your sexuality something empowering?". Depends on the context, if you're sexuality has been hidden and repressed for a very long time it can definitely be empowering, unfortunately this has been the case for women and gay people for centuries, so a simple answer could be: yes. On the contrary modern society has commodified women's sexuality and sent us to the opposite extreme under the false narrative that women sexuality is our main value/asset and meant to please the male glaze hence so flaunting ourselves in a skimpy outfit and getting plenty of male gaze is "power". This is very delusional, unless of course you're a porn star, Kim kardashian or run an only fans channel in which case the male gaze is turning your bank account into a ten figure which lets face it... is always empowering.

"I feel so empowered being on the internet wearing my briefs only and displaying my sexuality" said no man ever.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I believe the big elephant in the room issue that is being discussed on this thread is : "Is taking your clothes off and flaunting your sexuality something empowering?". Depends on the context, if you're sexuality has been hidden and repressed for a very long time it can definitely be empowering, unfortunately this has been the case for women and gay people for centuries, so a simple answer could be: yes. On the contrary modern society has commodified women's sexuality and sent us to the opposite extreme under the false narrative that women sexuality is our main value/asset and meant to please the male glaze hence so flaunting ourselves in a skimpy outfit and getting plenty of male gaze is "power".

I think this is interesting because it touches on the reason why I think a lot of women do it.

A lot of women do hide their sexuality because, while we see a lot of female sexuality, it is still in a pretty narrow lens. It's changing somewhat now, but generally, we may see a lot of half clad women but they're almost always young and slim.

When you don't feel like you look close enough to the ideal to show yourself (whether or not you actually do), then you may well spend a lot of time hiding away and it could feel very liberating to break free, so to speak. If you don't conform to this narrow acceptable aesthetic then that can be seen as liberating too.

I do think that most women who do the boudoir/burlesque thing aren't actually doing it for men. The body positive culture that goes along with it isn't about pleasing men.

Bit reductive. Heterosexual men fetishise larger women too. It’s very naive to think men only like to w*nk over one kind of female body. Pregnant women, older women, any woman is fair game. Personally I don’t see how posing in your knickers does anything but say objectify me please regardless of your size or age. You don’t see fat men posting pics of themselves in their Ys to promote body positivity.

Well, Sam Smith...

Ha ha ha! How dare you, Sam isn’t actually a man don’t you know! Seriously though he is actually symptomatic of this whole issue - he thinks showing his ‘feminine side’ is rolling around in skin tight latex trying to gurn seductively, and has been hailed as soooo empowering!

Yes, I know that if it exists, there is porn of it. I was approached by porn scouts in my youth so believe me, I am aware that there's not much you won't find some man ready to wank over.

But I'm talking in the mainstream. If you don't see yourself represented as being pretty/sexual unless you go off into dark Internet corners, then I can absolutely see why you would find it liberating to get out there presenting yourself that way. It's about body positivity, not what you think men love.

And it's not for men. Straight men don't give a shit about feathers and fans. Shirley Bassey is a gay icon. I have friends who teach burlesque and they tell me it's all for women. I've seen some of their shows....it's women in the audience. Men don't go precisely because they know it's going to be all ages and sizes and nobody gives a shit if they're turned on or not.

Ha ha ha! How dare you, Sam isn’t actually a man don’t you know! Seriously though he is actually symptomatic of this whole issue - he thinks showing his ‘feminine side’ is rolling around in skin tight latex trying to gurn seductively, and has been hailed as soooo empowering!

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Its certainly keeping everyone entertained. More in a 'laugh at' than 'laugh with' way methinks

@Eyerollcentral You don’t see fat men posting pics of themselves in their Ys to promote body positivity.

Men haven't been subjected to a quarter of the sexual objectification/commodification women have nor to the oppressive beauty standards of eternally looking young and skinny. Because mens power and self esteem was not based on their looks they could get away with looking as they pleased and feeling good about it. We've been fed by skinny images of women in the media for far too long. Benny Hill was never criticized for being chubby not so much Dawn French, so there's really no need for fat men to promote body positivity, unlike women they never had that problem.

I'm sorry but yes it will look massively attention seeking. Enjoy the photos for yourself OP, you don't need validation from randoms on Facebook.

You don't tend to see men posing in tighty whities but you sure as fuck see them posing with Ferraris and Rolexes.

Fine but women pose with cars and handbags. Not sure what's that got to do with posing semi naked

Yes I agree that’s entirely my point. Women of any size won’t achieve real body positivity whatever their size by posting pics of themselves in their undercrackers though. Real body positivity is saying I love my body and dgaf what any of you think. Not do you like me bending over in my pants

Well from their perspective, the first message is what they're saying.

I'm countering the suggestion that presenting yourself in a supposedly desirable state isn't a female only phenomenon.

From whose perspective and what are they saying sorry?

No, what the men are doing is demonstrating wealth and power. Not sexual availability.

The women who share photos of themselves looking sexy would say that the message they're giving is "I love how I look, don't care if you don't, I'm not going to hide away".

Ha, my first thought too, although I responded as if it were a woman.

A woman is not sexually available just because she posts sexy photos.

And I don't see why flaunting wealth is so superior to flaunting sexuality.

They aren’t doing that for female approval though, overwhelmingly it’s to impress other men. If they impress women along the way great, but it’s not the prime aim and they aren’t generally stripped to the waist or slung across the bonnet in a pair of Speedo’s either. It’s a totally different thing. Your statement actually buys in to the idea that to be desirable women should be half naked and posing sexually.

They aren’t doing that for female approval though, overwhelmingly it’s to impress other men.

And yet burlesque photo women can't possibly be doing THAT for other women...

There is a difference though isn’t there between feeling like that and posing in your bra. Anyone who really feels like that absolutely wouldn’t feel the need to have any one confirm it for her.

I never said it was superior. Read my post.
I'm saying the men are flaunting their wealth, much as if women posted images of designer handbags and jewellery.
Not themselves in "boudoir" scenarios.