To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

The difference is the sexualised apparel and poses.

I disagree with you, a media that only portrays skinny women is sending a strong message to girls :"there's something wrong with you if your a size 16". A media that embraces all sorts of body shapes (and races) is also sending a strong message to girls: "There's nothing wrong with you if you're a size 16 or you're black", as a woman growing up being groomed/brain washed with this message will absolutely affect the way you think about yourself and shape your self esteem. More than a decade ago it was very difficult to find nice clothes for oversized women, the High street fashion only made clothes for size 16 and under, the message was quite clear: fat women are not worthy of dressing well and sexy. It's a fairly recent phenomenon that fashion companies have included plus size models on their catalogues/websites. Body positivity is promoted by showing images of different body types in attractive ways and NOT by brain washing women with images of skinny girls.

@Eyerollcentral By the way your user name is the best 😂

I have seen photos of my friends in bikinis doing things like paddle boarding - I think they look amazing regardless of their body shape, as they're doing something active they love.

I would definitely judge if they put up a boudoir photo of themselves. To me it screams out low self esteem.

As others have said, if you need to do that to feel validated, your self esteem has not improved and it looks desperate.

I'd say don't do it, but if you really want to do it, do it. Just don't think that the people looking are thinking "good on her", they're probably not.

I think it’s more because she said it was female empowerment and some of us, justly in my opinion, think it isn’t what female empowerment should be, or indeed is, about. If she’d just said Hey I had some fab photos taken and I’m going to post them on SM because I just want to - then fair enough go for it.

The clothing manufacturers don’t think in terms of who is worthy of having clothes made for them. The ONLY reason larger women now have more choice with regard to clothes is that there are now more larger women to sell the clothes too. Don’t make the mistake of thinking body positivity has anything to do with it. The only motivation there is profit, body positivity is being used to market it to larger women, it’s incredibly cynical if you actually think about it.

Bad idea. You are basically inviting people to criticise your body. How will you feel if lots of randoms post 🤮 reactions? Or if your friends are simply not enthusiastic and keep quiet?

Or if someone downloads them and uses them for the wrong purpose? Do you really want to live forever in someone's wank folder?

This. Posing in lingerie is not female empowerment, it's the opposite.. just satisfying men yet again.

You're clearly torn here. I think it's great you feel good about yourself....as long as that's true. Or do you just think the pics are well posed, with good lighting and a few tricks? Would you feel the same after a few dates with a new boyfriend in your Primark leggings. That's real empowerment.
Also, if you feel really proud of your pics n think you look hot....own it. I find stealth boasting and fishing for complements so unattractive. Be prepared for some negative comments too from random strangers.

Can we see your pics? 👀

The difference between you and celebrities is that they are getting paid. Either to do it or because it boosts their earning power later down the line.

But by all means, give the milk away for free.

I feel more powerful knowing that no matter how hot a man finds me, he cant see me in bedroom photos for all the money in the world. He cant buy my time.

If a man having a free wank over you makes you feel good then go for it.

I cannot imagine doing anything like that and calling it empowering. You want to show off your body in revealing clothes so that people will take you more seriously?????

Google 'male gaze' and think again!

I'm afraid I would think you're attention seeking if you posted them. In the nicest possible way, you would be attention seeking wouldn't you? Otherwise why post them?

It also makes me feel uncomfortable when friends post things like this - I don't need to see you with your clothes off. Feel the same about really posed bikini shots.

If you'd be happy to stick the pics up outside your house then go ahead and put them on SM. If you wouldn't then don't.

@BellePeppa so if I apologized for saying that I, personally, find the thought empowering.. would that then make it ok to everyone?

The definition of empowerment is "the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights."
I think what is empowering to one woman could be completely different to what would empower another.
I am SO glad a few posters get it. There's so much hate on here, I've been totally shamed.
It's not gonna stop me posting them though.

Don't mistake "difference of opinion" for "hate". That's quite a common mistake nowadays, and it's to limit free speech.
If you have found remarks which indicate that - not just opinions - then you must report them.
Your opinion is very clear on this matter.
Other opinions are expressed.

Genuinely where is the hate? Do whatever you want, but don’t paint it as feminist, it’s not, it’s the very opposite of it and if your self esteem is ever to be rebuilt it won’t be by this means.

Hi OP, I’ve only just seen your post and I really think there needs to be a big fuck you to all the snidey, bitchy remarks that have come your way.

I bloody admire your confidence and I think a lot of the shit you’ve received comes from a place of jealousy from many women. Who CARES if your shots aren’t their type of thing? All any poster had to say was “no, not my thing, but you go ahead if it makes you feel good”. It’s not tarty, it’s not attention seeking, it’s not any of the nasty things that have been said.

So you crack on and get your photos on your social media. I’m all about celebrating body confidence and you sound as though you’re brimming with it - bloody well done 👏🏼 👏🏼

@Mincedpies thank you so much for the kind comment! Means a lot!

Some posters have been rude as fuck, you're right. The vast majority who have said YABU haven't though. They've answered your question and given their reasons why. I'm guessing you came on here to gauge opinion, not for everyone to agree with you? The posters who have been rude are a reflection of what you
may get a taste of on SM though, or IRL if someone shares your posts around - not sure what your job is or how small the town is in which you live etc, so this may/may not be something to consider. Good luck with it OP and I hope you continue to feel body positive and more confident!

Ugh I’m imagining all the people on my FB that whole see these - my dad, my uncle, work colleagues. Why on Earth? Just no. Empowerment is not some semi naked digitally altered photos (because they will be) being seen by everyone that knows you.

The posters who have been rude are a reflection of what you may get a taste of on SM though, or IRL if someone shares your posts around

Unfortunately, I think you are right. Several posters have pointed this out, hence my earlier comment about social awareness.

I agree with you, capitalism doesn't care about fat women feeling good about themselves, capitalism just wants their money and the way they do it is under the pretense of "body positivity". But then capitalism has never been honest in their advertising when selling stuff, they sold you "values", meaning a nice car was never a vehicle that would take you from a to b, a car was meant to give you status/class mobility, Coca Cola never sold you an unhealthy sugary caffeine drink they sold you "energy and youth" and Nike didn't sell running shoes but determination ("Just do it"). Capitalism shapes the way we think and we just drink the Kool aid.

If you're resolved to do it, just do it. No need to start a thread really 🤷‍♀️

I would disagree about your points on social media. The vast majority of posts (even tedious dog walk/ roast dinner pics/ cheeky prosecco) are seeking validation in some shape or form, people love to portray the edited highlights, but the most assured and confident people I know post rarely on socials.

My colleague, about whom I wrote earlier, was also a larger woman and not conventionally attractive. She was doing burlesque and had bought into the whole 'body positivity' thing. She kept gaining weight.

She was also young at the time (late 20s) and clearly thought that everyone from her work colleagues to her grandparents would be delighted to see her increasingly explicit and increasingly naked performances, shared openly on Facebook and Instagram.

It got more and more extreme, and she ended up having a mental health crisis, hospitalised and then on extended sick leave.

Obviously I am not suggesting that this will happen to anyone who posts pics like this on social media.

But it is indicative of the fact that women are buying into this 'showing myself naked = empowerment' crap without having the slightest understanding of the actual reactions they are likely to provoke, and the actual real-world consequences it may bring.

it is risky, unwise, and it is not going to bring you the sort of validation you want. There are women on this thread who are actually getting paid real money for modelling and they see straight through the bullshit.

so many people are so judgy about it being about seeking validation, desperation etc. It's really not. I feel like I want to post them. It would make me feel good. I don't really care, the more about it, what anyone thinks. Which is empowering actually.

This doesn’t make sense.

If you don’t care about validation and wanting other peoples opinions, then you wouldn’t be even thinking about putting them on the internet.

Of course it’s an attention thing.