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Original poster

To post lingerie shots on my social media..

953 replies

Junglejane8 · 26/02/2023 22:35

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 27/02/2023 13:00

SweetSenorita · 27/02/2023 12:55

I'm still standing in next to nothing showing my body off.

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if you're going to the gym in burlesque style underwear, you're doing something wrong.

maddy68 · 27/02/2023 13:01

It's a really tacky thing to do

SweetSenorita · 27/02/2023 13:02

SoupDragon · 27/02/2023 13:00

if you're going to the gym in burlesque style underwear, you're doing something wrong.

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I'm not. But I'm not wearing very much. What's the difference?

BellePeppa · 27/02/2023 13:02

AllOfThemWitches · 27/02/2023 11:34

No idea what you're talking about. I assume these women are bitter because they've already been made to feel insecure by pics of women on the internet.

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Then you assume wrong. I’ve had pics in my underwear and much less but they were for my partner’s eyes only, not for the random public.

SweetSenorita · 27/02/2023 13:03

SoupDragon · 27/02/2023 13:00

if you're going to the gym in burlesque style underwear, you're doing something wrong.

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And I'm not going to the gym. I'm competing in a show at a theatre/exhibition centre or similar!

MotherOfHouseplants · 27/02/2023 13:03

AllOfThemWitches · 27/02/2023 12:42

Yeah yeah, 'sad, weird' etc. See how desperate you are to tear other women down even when they are complete strangers to you?

No, a lot of women on this thread very clearly hate other women. They're just disguising it with faux concern for OP.

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How are you distinguishing faux concern from genuine?

RingoDingoz · 27/02/2023 13:04

What you said @Sep200024 was

“The hatred if there is any, is not for women. It’s for ‘women as sex objects.”

What part of that didn’t I follow correctly?

Women who present themselves as what you call “sex objects” are still women. They have a choice in how to present themselves and if they are choosing to present themselves in a certain way in order to be seen as sexually attractive, or to encourage others to see them sexually or to be sexually attracted to them then that’s okay.

Wanting to have sex, to enjoy sex, to sexually desire others, to be seen as sexually desirable - that is all okay and is “allowed” whether the person presenting in that way is male or female and regardless of who they are trying to attract or gain validation from.

It doesn’t make women less than, and someone less worthy than other women, if they own their sexuality and “flaunt” (it wouldn’t be my chosen word but it’s the way some seem to see it) that and used it any way they want to.

G5000 · 27/02/2023 13:06

If OP had asked that she's really proud of her gym progress and would like to post a photo in her leggings and top, I would have replied differently. People in gym clothing don't make me uncomfortable, as those are clothes meant to be worn in public. Sexy lingerie is not, that's intimate and it will make many people unfomfortable to see their kids' teacher or their great auntie in such gear, pouting sexily.
And no, I am not a woman-hating withch, I would not want to see Dave from accounts posing like this either. I don't care much for his biking photos, but surely you can see the difference?

BellePeppa · 27/02/2023 13:06

AllOfThemWitches · 27/02/2023 12:42

Yeah yeah, 'sad, weird' etc. See how desperate you are to tear other women down even when they are complete strangers to you?

No, a lot of women on this thread very clearly hate other women. They're just disguising it with faux concern for OP.

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Sounds like you do too. I’m not seeing much love from you to the women on here.

AlwaysGinPlease · 27/02/2023 13:08

maddy68 · 27/02/2023 13:01

It's a really tacky thing to do

Yup. After a lot of kind and helpful advice. The truth is this. No we are not women haters , no we are not jealous. We just have the self awareness to know it is absolutely cringeworthy.

C4tastrophe · 27/02/2023 13:08

The OP needs to upload a headless pic here so the MM jury can tell her if she’s burlesque or just burly.

ReneBumsWombats · 27/02/2023 13:08

C4tastrophe · 27/02/2023 12:57

So the odd shaped OP is going to garner a similar opinion when she bursts onto the lingerie scene going ‘Look at me!’

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What, you'll cringe when you see her "odd shape", whatever that is?

So what?

Sandra1984 · 27/02/2023 13:11

Sep200024 · 27/02/2023 12:39

This is so weird.

The hatred if there is any, is not for women. It’s for ‘women as sex objects’.

If you can’t see the difference, that’s really sad.

Had OP wanted advice about posting on social media to launch a new business aimed at women; to run a charity campaign; to promote an environmental cause…..etc etc, she would have received no end of kind and useful advice.

Women do not hate other women being successful.

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The pearl crutching is alive n kicking on here phew.... The OP sounds like a "normal woman" who one day had a photographer friend take some flattering burlesque pictures in what sound like sexy underwear and feels so proud of them that she would like to share them with her friends on social media. Big. Friggin. Deal. Now she's getting burn in the stalk for it. Seriously people... lighten up a bit and get out more. I just advised her to set those pics on private settings and only for a few friends just because stuff like that can affect you professionally if seen by employers or prospective employers.

BringMeTea · 27/02/2023 13:12

@Molto like like like.

AlwaysGinPlease · 27/02/2023 13:13

Pearl Crutching? Is that a new sex move? 😂🧐 @Sandra1984

LaDamaDeElche · 27/02/2023 13:13

AllWorkYoPlait · 27/02/2023 12:57

I am yet to see any men I know posting photos of themselves in silky boxers, draped over a chaise under a carefully placed feather boa. These bedroom shoots are always over photoshopped and carefully angled too.

Facebook gym pics are also attention seeking but both sexes are equally guilty of this.

As I said previously, if this was about body positivity then OP would just post any old beach snap and not give a fuck what people think.

Why, to feel good about herself, does OP need to promote an overtly sexual version of herself to the masses? It's buying into the misogyny - that women need to be in lingerie on all fours to be desirable or indeed powerful. Fuck that.

And again, comparing herself to sexual assault victims is abhorrent.

Why are women who question or disagree always labelled as trouble makers, bitter or "jealous"? I don't give a crap who sees OPs knockers, but don't try and tell me it's got anything with to do with empowering womankind. It really doesn't.

Exactly this.

ladykale · 27/02/2023 13:14

Dzogchen · 26/02/2023 22:43

That would be the worst idea I’ve ever heard, or close to it.

Haha I agree!

Caviarandgelatine · 27/02/2023 13:15

If I was an employer checking a candidate's socials and came across a boudoir shoot, their application wouldn't be going any further. I'd assume they were vacuous, attention seeking and self obsessed. Not good qualities for the workplace

AllWorkYoPlait · 27/02/2023 13:15

SweetSenorita · 27/02/2023 13:02

I'm not. But I'm not wearing very much. What's the difference?

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The difference is intent.

Gym wear is small and thin for comfort and practical purposes. Gym photos are for progress, validation and encouragement. Both sexes do it. Yes, they can also be incredibly annoying but they don't tend to read as sexual, just self indulgent.

Funnily enough though, seductive poses on cheap satin sheets in your vest and pants? That seems to be a women only past time. By women, for men.

ladykale · 27/02/2023 13:16

CheersForThatEh · 26/02/2023 22:46

People thinking you look sexy i.e. would want to shag you, is not empowering.

It's a fallacy told to women to encourage us to put up pictures of us in our knickers, look "better" in make up, or show off "a hint of cleavage".

Empowerment is choosing not to because that's your power.

This is what tires me most about "female empowerment".

These days it's apparently empowering to pose nude when all it means is you'll have men perving over you.

Really sad we talk about empowerment but it's usually those with low self esteem keen to post scantily clad pics online for external validation (not suggesting that is OPs intention)

heartbroken40 · 27/02/2023 13:17

You know what? OP, I hope you go ahead. People will laugh (I know I would), but will also judge you for being "lower class" and you'll make them feel better about themselves. So please do it! I wish you were my colleague as that would provide endless amusement. But I'm high up in a professional job and you're not. So...

ladykale · 27/02/2023 13:18

user1477249785 · 26/02/2023 23:00

For me, female empowerment is about feeling powerful without having to take my clothes off. That's the literal opposite because it's about satisfying the male gaze.

This!

How has it been twisted to the opposite?!

Sandra1984 · 27/02/2023 13:19

AlwaysGinPlease · 27/02/2023 13:13

Pearl Crutching? Is that a new sex move? 😂🧐 @Sandra1984

Yes 😂😅😂

(bloody typos)

NotAnotherBathBomb · 27/02/2023 13:20

Let's be honest, everyone posts on social media for attention, they're looking for interaction and compliments from others and that's fine. I don't see the difference in what you're posting and what anyone else posts.

But it is attention seeking. Own it. You're looking for validation from others.

Think about it like this: if you posted the pics and no one liked or commented on them, how would you feel?

IAgreeWithHim · 27/02/2023 13:21

Caviarandgelatine · 27/02/2023 13:15

If I was an employer checking a candidate's socials and came across a boudoir shoot, their application wouldn't be going any further. I'd assume they were vacuous, attention seeking and self obsessed. Not good qualities for the workplace

TBH- same. I'd assume their boundaries are a bit wonky and that would not fill me with confidence.