To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

The OP appears to have missed (or ignored) my warning on how the photos could be misused, and I worry she hasn't considered this.

She might have some truly gorgeous and empowering shots of her in her underwear, and she might not mind people seeing those shots. However, once she puts them on her social media, she cannot stop those photos being edited and manipulated.

Let me post something sobering here: www.buzzfeednews.com/article/steven-asarch/twitch-streamers-atrioc-deepfake-porn-sweet-anita This is an example of how video content can be misused, but it equally applies to photo content.

Once your photos are in the wild, you lose control of them.

For example, the OP might be happy with a photo that hints at nudity but doesn't show nudity. It wouldn't be difficult for someone to edit that photo so she looked naked. It wouldn't be difficult for that photo to end up on a porn site.

@Junglejane8 You really do need to think about how you would feel if your photos were taken out of context, edited and shared with everyone, including your close friends and family. Would you feel so empowered then? Unfortunately, technology has advanced to the point where these are real considerations.

If you want to post them, post them. Thats pretty much what Instagram is for anyway isn't it?

So what if you did want 'validation' or attention? Hardly the crime of the century. We all like a little of that from time to time.

Just be aware that when you put something out there you can't control the responses and some people are complete tosspots who like to find any excuse to have a go so be prepared for that possibility. I've seen so many pictures of women lifted off their sm so some wankers can laugh at them.

Think it’s clear the OP doesn’t care if someone uses her images without her permission, in fact she’d probably find it even more empowering. As long as the OP gets those sweet sweet likes that’s really all that matters. All the women on here cheerleading for this are the lowest of the low.

Depends on your line of employment, if you have a job in retail in some high street you're fine but any other jobs in healthcare, law enforcement, finance, law etc... etc... you won't get hired. I recently had the case of a friend of mine who works in a care home and almost got fired for that so I would be very cautious. You can always set your Facebook settings so that only certain friends get to see those pictures, I believe that would be the wisest thing. As for the attention seeking comments I would dismiss them, you're proud of those pics and only live once, I'm just giving you advice on a "practical level",unfortunately not everyone out there is open minded.

I'm not insecure. I'm very happy with my body. Couldn't care less if my DH saw photos of the OP or any other woman in their underwear.
I simply advised her not to do it because I think it's a mistake. Remember OP started this thread to ASK for opinions. I'm really happy OP feels so good about the photos and more confident in her body. That's a very positive thing. But why share them? OP said she'll share them because she doesn't care what anyone else thinks of them. That doesn't make sense! If she doesn't care what people think why does she want people to see them? She wants people to see them because she thinks she looks good and wants other people to feel the same way. OK, fair enough. However, I can't tell you how much I would cringe if I saw a whole series of photos of Joanne from Accounts (or whatever) in her lingerie! It would make no difference to me if Joanne from Accounts was thin/fat, young/old, had nice perky breasts or big heavy breasts! I couldn't care less about that. Women come in all shapes and sizes. But I WOULD be thinking "What the hell is she doing?!" and I'd be sooo embarrassed on her behalf because I'm sure everyone else would feel the same. Unless you're particularly close to someone you really don't want to see them in that context! It's pretty awkward to see someone from the office or one of the school mums in their underwear draped seductively over a sofa or whatever. There's also the fact that absolutely everyone knows that these photos are very unrealistic - all taken from flattering angles, with flattering lighting, photoshopped etc. They don't generally bear much resemblance to how the person normally looks.
Like many others have said, men are quite capable of feeling empowered without showing images of themselves in their pants. Why do women feel the need to show their bodies to feel good?

I get what you're saying and I wouldn't think it's desperate or sad per say - but tbh I find it depressing that you're only empowered when your body looks good. Women are more than their bodies.

I don't like women sharing underwear photos etc because I think women have far more to offer than looking physically good.

It makes me a bit depresed when people see looking good in some photos as a massive achievement, because personally I couldn't care less what someone looks like in underwear, I'd far rather hear their thoughts on something, or hear about a book they've read...

Would you have clicked on this thread if the title had been "I just read a book"?

I know you'll say yes, but I do think it wouldn't have grabbed your attention so fast.

I fail to see how asking advice and declaring you don’t care is empowering or posting pics of you with your clothes off is empowering. Both are simply Ill advised.

as said though, if you were my mate I’d go all out to support you, as what’s done is done and I’d want you not to realise it was bad. So I’d be first in line to give you a wow you look fantastic , those pics are amazing, if I looked like that I’d share them too. Irrelevant of what you actually looked like. But inside I’d be dying a little for you.

for your need for attention and validation and thinking heavily filtered sexualised pics with your kit off is the way to get it. I’d not think it vain or vacuous though, I’d just think something was very wrong that you needed to do it.

it’s the most skewed damaged least empowering thinking there is.

and re: celebs, I fucking HATE when previously successful female celebrities (e.g. rhianna) who got really far on their talent without needing to be naked and reducing themselves to sex objects, suddenly strip off and wrythe around in water in the name of female empowerment. There's nothing empowering about being successful in your career and then deciding that actually your arse and your tits are still the best thing you have to offer. Fuck that.

There is a fuck ton of insecurity on this site. You can see it when people are clamouring to convince other women that they are being cheated on.

This is a very good response and fairly sums it up

Female solidarity? What an absolute joke. Only when it comes to women who behave as you think they should, right? Not the 'sad, desperate' ones.

However, I can't tell you how much I would cringe if I saw a whole series of photos of Joanne from Accounts (or whatever) in her lingerie! It would make no difference to me if Joanne from Accounts was thin/fat, young/old, had nice perky breasts or big heavy breasts! I couldn't care less about that. Women come in all shapes and sizes. But I WOULD be thinking "What the hell is she doing?!" and I'd be sooo embarrassed on her behalf because I'm sure everyone else would feel the same. Unless you're particularly close to someone you really don't want to see them in that context! It's pretty awkward to see someone from the office or one of the school mums in their underwear draped seductively over a sofa or whatever. There's also the fact that absolutely everyone knows that these photos are very unrealistic - all taken from flattering angles, with flattering lighting, photoshopped etc. They don't generally bear much resemblance to how the person normally looks.

This is kind of how I feel about my sil who posts these. I wonder why she wants me or her brother(dh) or her mam to see her posing seductively in her underwear? Why do you think I want to see your tits or that your brother wants to see your tits? It isn't jealousy, we probably have very similar body shapes but it is weird that I have been subjected to pornified photos of her without me asking to see them? She is posed and primped to within an inch of her life and the skin smoothing tool is clearly doing overtime, she is doing her best in these photos to look 'sexy' and it's all just very weird.
I do judge older women that post these photos more harshly, not because of their bodies but because I think with age comes a certain wisdom that you don't have in your early 20s. By you get to your mid to late 30s like sil and me I think lessons on the value of appearance, especially smoke and mirrors appearance like these photos should have been learned.

Ew, can you imagine all the school gate parents/ the local plumber/ whoever you’ve sold something to on marketplace coming and snooping at you in your knickers. Burlesque photos should be private imho. When I see people posting them on social I think they must be desperate/ deluded.

Pictures in underwear aren't needed to create a deepfake. If you share images of your face online, it is enough material.

I don't think that sharing lingerie images significantly increases the risk someone will attack you that way. Simple posting of some opinions online is more "risky" behaviour from this point if view.

Deepfake porn is kind of modern equivalent of rape. It doesn't matter what the woman was wearing, she isn't responsible for the attack and wasn't "asking for it".

Its a bit look at me and I'd roll my eyes. You can have nice photos on fb with clothes on.

That's a sweeping generalisation there. A lot of - meaning the majority - of MN have shitty partners who drool over women on SM, are overweight and unhappy in themselves? Did you mean to say "some"? Even if there are women who fit your misogynistic criteria, do they not get to have an opinion that posting pics like that on SM is kind of attention seeking and not the actions of someone who doesn't care and is feeling great about themselves. Do women have to be thin, happy and have an excellent husband to be allowed to have that opinion. What an odd, misogynistic post. I'm neither overweight or unhappy with my body and DP has his moments, but is generally a great partner and isn't drooling over women on SM, so I don't fit your demographic. I do think that for someone with supposed confidence issues, it's opening themselves up to a minefield
of comments that could knock that confidence and is about validation rather than empowerment. No problems with people who make a living that way or work in fields where those kind of pics are part and parcel of the job. No problem if the OP does it either. She's here gauging opinions and people give them.

What a load of fuss about nothing. Why does anyone post anything on social media? To show friends and family that you’ve done something lovely, to look attractive to any potential romantic partners who may be viewing, so get social approval, to have a photo record of that memory. It’s fine: Nobody is going to steal a tasteful boudoir shoot of a middle aged woman and manipulate it for their own nefarious reasons. Any friends who squirm and don’t want to see it, fine- their problem! Presumably you’d be wearing more clothing than a 20 year old in a string bikini on a beach which wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow.

I cringe when I see Amanda Holden carrying on and dressed like a 30 year old, and she’s very well preserved for a 50 plus.

Even if there are women who fit your misogynistic criteria, do they not get to have an opinion that posting pics like that on SM is kind of attention seeking and not the actions of someone who doesn't care and is feeling great about themselves.

Ah now we're pretending that there AREN'T women who are unhappy with themselves whose shitty partners make it worse by 'following' models on Instagram or whatever. Yawn.

as a sexual assault victim I felt the same as you. Pictures in your underwear is in
no way comparable to sexual harassment/assault.

This

This thread is absolutely full of hatred towards women, seems only some are deserving of this 'female solidarity.' Bunch of hypocrites. 😄

It's sounds like you are going to do it anyway but honestly, I wouldn't. If I saw these online I would be very embarrassed for that person. I really don't understand that need to share so much on social media these days. I can't think of any reason why you'd post these other than for validation / wanting others to comment on how good you look. It's just attention seeking.

Nowhere in that cherry picked sentence from my full quote does that imply or say that. I'm not surprised you're yawning. You must be tired, as your comprehension skills are not on point today.