To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

Just read you're doing it anyway.

Don't say we didn't warn you!!! Bad bad decision.

Next thread - I feel awful, no one liked my SM posts and now i regret posting them.

A lot of mumsnet is gonna be women who are unhappy in their bodies, overweight or whatever and insecure about their shitty partners drooling over lingerie pics on the internet. That's why you're getting all these comments. Personally I think posting pics of yourself on SM is just blatant attention seeking but so what? That's the nature of SM.

Wow, you’re such a strong, empowered woman!! You go girlfriend.

It's not bitchy to point out the pitfalls of posting pictures of yourself in your underwear on social media.

People can be really naïve about the consequences of things like this. While you might think it's your right and people like your current or future employers can just deal with it, unfortunately that's not the reality and your digital footprint can follow you forever!

You know why celebs get naked? Because sex sells. Women pretending that it's because "empowerment" are just fooling themselves. The same way that Cardi B rapping about choking on a big dick and trading sex for expensive handbags, does absolutely nothing for female empowerment, you haven't reclaimed your sexuality in the name of feminism by posting a raunchy boudoir pic. You've played into the hands of misogyny.

If this is about body confidence, then next time you've got some casual beach snaps of yourself on holiday with your friends/family, you'll post those and not give a shit about your thighs or belly rolls. Carefully curated lingerie photos do nothing for the progression of womankind, if anything they're a hinderance.

No one here cares if you post them (unless they're unfortunate enough to be on your friends list). But you asked a group of (mainly) women, if this is empowering, and the presiding opinion is that it isn't.

You equating being advised not to post lingerie photos online with women being sexually assaulted or raped for wearing a mini skirt is really offensive.

Wow, you're right. If we can stop @Junglejane8 from posting her boudoir shots, it will be literally impossible for men to find any pictures of naked ladies on the internet.

You saw right through the plan!

You know why celebs get naked? Because sex sells.

Actually yeah, don't put them online for free.

No idea what you're talking about. I assume these women are bitter because they've already been made to feel insecure by pics of women on the internet.

This. Honestly, even if the person has a super hot body, I still cringe that they made those pictures public.

I'm a slim size 8-10. I have underwear pics that I know I look smoking hot in 😀 But they ain't going anywhere near my social media because.... why? How would I look colleagues in the face again, or mums on the school run? When they've all seen my arse cheeks or cleavage in a lacy bra, and my suggestive 'come to bed' expression? Cringe almighty. 😅

Some of mumsnet might be but a lot of women here have good self esteem, are intelligent and pretty clued up on our psychology how our society works. Maybe not on academic level but definitely on a real level.
Some may be older and flabbier but that doesn't mean they weren't conventionally stunningly attractive a few years ago and probably aren't bitter and resentful.
It's ridiculous to think being against this is down to jealousy and insecurity.

It’s good that posting on here gave you such clarity on what you want to do. It doesn’t sound like your self-esteem is a problem at all by the way, you seem confident to dismiss other women very easily!

I have a friend who does this. I still really like her but I have muted her for a while on social media, I just don’t need to see her in only her frilly knickers yet again!

I cannot think of a single instance where women were more "empowered" by posting photos of themselves in their underwear.

If a male relative/friend/colleague suggested that in order to empower themselves, they were going to post a photo of themselves posing in their boxers on FB or Insta, everyone would think (quite understandably) that they'd lost the plot.
Exactly the same is true for women.

It seems a weird double-standard that female empowerment includes underwear shots but the same is not true for male empowerment.

It's almost like underwear shots aren't really empowering at all🤔🤷

You're right. All 400 of the women who've posted on this thread and explained their reasoning in detail advising the OP against this, including the ones who are literally professional models, calendar girls and escorts, are all 'insecure, bitter and overweight'.

Your female solidarity is matched only by your insight.

I don't have any social media because I genuinely believe unless it's a private account shared only with family abroad etc then it's all about validation. So I'm firmly in the don't post camp. Enjoy them for yourself like I do with every photo of me ever.

It’s so disappointing to see posts like these on a thread where so many people have posted thoughtfully and kindly.

I just think this is the saddest thing. When will there come a time where women don’t feel the need to pose in their underwear for their own self esteem or validation.

and once it’s posted, you’ve no idea where they go or what people are thinking. Sure they will make some lovely comments. But most of them will be thinking how sad for her she needs to do this.

if a friend of mine did it, then I’d try very hard to make her feel good about her decision, as it’s done now and it can’t be taken back. I’d also work very hard to defend her. But inside I’d be dying a little for her and wondering what I can do to help her mental health.

self esteem is not posting heavily filtered pictures of you in your underwear. Self esteem comes from many different things, but not this. Once the initial high of doing it wears off you will be left feeling sad and deflated and wondering what people are really saying about you behind your back. Because it will be very different to what they post to try to help you.

Yeah, right. Stick them on here, and this post is guarantee to make the Daily Fail and other 'reputable' websites...

Maybe 'defying' opinion is 'empowering' too?

A lot of them really haven't.

It was very obvious from the start what sort of response this was going to get.

You go, girl 🙄

Whut?

Are you actually a man, OP?

A lot of you I don't understand. I do feel more empowered because I'm realizing I don't give that much of a damn what a lot of you think and I'm gonna post them anyway.

😂😂 but you care what your friends on social media think

Why do you think that?

potato potahto

OP clearly needs validating full stop. Instead of doing photoshoots or posting on here, their time would be better spent working on their self-esteem and need for approval.