To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

Always a bit mystified by AIBU . Why ask strangers what to think/do/validate what you want to think/do anyway. It's like some sort of catch 22 lite: I'll do this thing if you all say it's ok. Oh, you say it's not, well that means it's proof of why I am right, so I'll do it anyway.

Come on OP, stick them on here for a dry run.

Pics or it didn't happen

OP celebs post pictures because their looks and online profile are part of their job. It's not really comparable to a 38 credit controller from Walsall posting semi nudes on Instagram.

Anyway, I hope it works out for you and the patriarchy thanks you for your service

If the majority of people here think it’s cringe and attention seeking then I can promise the majority of your fb friends will think the same. If you genuinely don’t care that these people will judge you then crack on. But I’d piss myself laughing if someone I know did this. But to be honest I judge all the fully clothed pouty selfies I see. I mean the odd one might be ok but for some people it’s a daily occurrence.

People are not interested

OP You're now basically saying you don't care about the MumsNetter's opionions.

Why come on here and ask in the first place then?

Could it be that you expected a very different response?

You sound very much like you've not liked the comments here and have spat your dummy out!

I think it's great that you like your pic's and they made you feel good about your body etc. But you are definitely only posting them for validation/comments/likes.
What other reason does anyone post stuff on Facebook/Insta for (apart from awareness posts of course, charities, missing people/pets etc).

Tell us what you hope to gain from posting these pic's on SM? You say you already feel empowered by them without the validation of others. What is your desired outcome of posting them to your social media?

There is NOTHING empowering about making yourself wank fodder ffs, honestly the world we live in is ridiculous

Well there is a context to be considered here.

Some things are more important than your feelings.

Like getting a job to pay for shelter and food.

Or having your kids get teased about pics of Mum in her bra being sent around school.

It's like going to a powerful self development workshop or training.
There's a sort of loved-up with yourself honeymoon buzz.

To quote Withnail and I "it's just a rush man, it'll pass."

If I were you I'd wait 6 weeks and then see if you want to post them publicly instead of sharing privately with your friends.

Take a measured approach by hitting the pause button.

Otherwise it could be the crest of a mood swing.

I’m not sure why you’re equating posting burlesque pictures of yourself as female empowerment.

Don’t you just think you look sexy and want other people to agree? Fine if you want that but say what it is!

OP I think you need to decide what's right for you. But my personal view would be that we have been made to believe that it is empowering to be sexualised by a patriarchal society. If you're confused, look at this picture and tell me (if true!) that you don't find this image which reverses male and female superhero poses jarring: www.comicsbeat.com/gender-swap-avengers-poster-gives-us-lots-of-butt/

I totally agree that no one should be telling women what to do, but the trouble is that we all have been told what to do subliminally by the culture we live in which pushes us to believe we gain power by being scantily clad. As a pp said, how many 'empowered' men do we see in their pants?

I would also consider how you might feel about children, grandchildren, your family etc seeing these photos (and how they might feel about it). Britney Spears' children for example reportedly refuse to see her because she keeps sharing naked pictures of herself on social media (appreciate this is an entirely different situation, but an example of how things that women can think are empowering and that make them happy might impact others).

I personally feel the whole exercise of social media is oversharing and performative so perhaps I'm not your best source of insight:-D

www.comicsbeat.com/gender-swap-avengers-poster-gives-us-lots-of-butt/

@CanofCant I was going to say that- stick em on here OP-that way we can say 'lovely' - make you feel good and they aren't 'out there'

Yes, funny that. To me being an empowered woman doesn’t mean cavorting about half (or less) naked for the likes and comments, it’s being financially independent so you never have to rely on the ‘goodwill’ of a partner to not be homeless and penniless. It’s being educated enough to have choices in your life that you can pick the path you want to follow. It means being (either naturally or learned) mentally strong enough to never accept being treated badly. There are lots of things that define empowerment to me but none of them include how few clothes you’re wearing for the salivating gaze of strangers.

Do you know you actually sound very young, you are basically saying well because all of you nasty women out there telling me I shouldn’t post my photos I’m actually going to do it now. Makes me wonder what you want from people?? You must of been aware that many women would say don’t do it. A lot of employers would judge you for posting them tbh, unfairly in my book but that’s the world we currently live in. I don’t know if you have children but I don’t think they would be supportive if they were being bullied because you posted such photos. Now by all means If you want to post them online go ahead they’re your photos of you!! But do not look to put a mirror up to other women when you asked us what we think but because you don’t like the answers you received back. A lot of us know you will be judged and people can be nasty and cruel.

I know someone who did this. It did look vain and attention seeking. She still has them up as profile pics several years later. I think keep the lingerie shots private, but get some amazing photos done of yourself clothed to post on line.

You say you’re posting them because you don’t care what people think of you.

So if you posted them and got lots of comments that you look shit you wouldn’t care?

I’m pretty sure that’s not the case, which means you’re posting them for validation

It would incredibly vain to post them. But then again all social media is is people demanding attention and showing off.

@Junglejane8

I think you are being naive.

If you post these pictures of yourself online you will get judged. Some people will think they look great. Others will think you look stupid / vain / self obsessed / insta junkie / ridiculous ..................................

And TBH, the vast majority will have no impact on your life, however, how about a future employer? How about a future customer?

You don't say what you do for a job but you really need to think this through. People will judge your photos, some will like them, others won't. Letting everyone see them may have negative impacts

I’m not sure why you’re equating posting burlesque pictures of yourself as female empowerment
I think I get it. When you've spent many years constantly feeling that you should hide your body because you have been felt to believe it is not nice to show, fir whatever reasons, breaking free from this sense of shame and doing things others with nice body do without a second thought is empowering.

However, that's not how people perceive it. It's your battle, not the public's. Confidence is great and a trait that is valued but not when it is shoved in your face and imposed.

Being comfortable with your body is about you, not others and that confidence needs to shine in other ways than exposing flesh for anyone to see.

That experience has made you feel about yourself and that's what counts. It will indirectly impact on how you I interact with others and that's s enough. You don't need to do what ultimately will be perceived as attention seeking.

@vivainsomnia but she’s only wanting to show her body now as she thinks the photos make her look good. Empowerment would be being happy with your body as it is not having to dress up and have flattering angles

But if that was the case, that the OP had suddenly found body confidence and wanted to demonstrate that, surely posting everyday photos with no filters and in very ordinary clothes and circumstances would be the thing to demonstrate and support it? Not shots which have been carefully set up to be flattering with massively over lit sets, a degree of photoshopping, and in underwear?

You say this is doing something people with confidence do without thinking. I think you’re wrong. People who are confident don’t feel the need to put pictures of themselves in their pants on the internet because they don’t need or care for other people’s opinion on whether their body is acceptable/desirable/sexy/currently in fashion. They are confident of their worth regardless of whether the world thinks their bodies look good (whatever that means).

Seriously, put them on Only Fans. Then you'll find out exactly how keen people are to see you in your undies

Actually, I would never have the confidence myself.

Just like I said. Bitchy.

But if that was the case, that the OP had suddenly found body confidence and wanted to demonstrate that, surely posting everyday photos with no filters and in very ordinary clothes and circumstances would be the thing to demonstrate and support it? Not shots which have been carefully set up to be flattering with massively over lit sets, a degree of photoshopping, and in underwear?
This is exactly what I'm saying. I understand how OP feels but is going about showing her new sense of empowerment the wrong way.

@MumOf2workOptions what would a future employer care? They are very tasteful, not like page 3 / porny. I only ask as thinking about women's empowerment / freedom / rights why should we be defined and judged our careers for our own choices about our bodies..
I know like, employers seeing excessive drinking, drug abuse etc in socials is so inappropriate. But is this in the same category? Seems wrong. Honestly wasn't something I'd considered or even crossed my mind.
How is it female empowerment to post pictures of yourself in your knickers? A bloke wouldn't do this. Even though you say it's tasteful, it's going down a very particular street of what society wants to see of women. Better to post pictures of yourself being empowered and fully clothed, or less fully clothed for good reasons such as that you're taking part in a sport. Not a burlesque shot.

Oh dear. Are you triggered?

Is calling others 'miserable cow bags' the antithesis of bitchy then? Or is it bitchy is as bitchy does?