To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

I really, really love this post, it wins today! 🤣

You asked. You didn't like the answers. Post them, enjoy the likes. Hope it boosts your confidence knowing your friends are judging you. That men are both laughing at you as well as wanking. It won't be some sort of sweet crush that will form into a romance. The comments that say great photos but they're gossiping about desperate you must be, they'll laugh too.

The fact you think it's comparable to victims of sexual assault?! What even?!
I think you're a bit confused about what feminism is. Women warning women is not anti-femimist.

But go ahead,post them. You'll see that everything you were warned about will happen.

Then why are you asking for people’s opinions in the first place? Go ahead and do it 🤷‍♀️

For centuries, women were denied political and economic power. How did they assert themselves and have any independence?
Many went down your route, understandably, because men will pay for, and give attention to, sexually available women. It does give a transient power over men, of sorts.
Women's bodies and clothing have become so sexualised it's hard to separate what we can control and what controls us.
You're determined to post them, I think you always were, and I think there's a strong element of you wanting to argue that what you're doing is strong and feminist.

Op is a drainer 🥱

OP, perhaps rather than put them directly on social media as such, put them on a separate page, like Flickr, and post the link? Then people who want to see them can, and anyone who would spend the day spluttering in outrage over them won't be able to admit they clicked through can avoid them.

It’s not really “owning” the women who’ve advised against this to go ahead and do it. There’s no negative consequences for them.

Interesting first post on MN, though.

OP come back to say 'ner ner ner ner ner gonna do it anyway ' how tedious.

OP I don't know what your profession is but you know that every time you apply for a job and don't get it a little voice will wonder if it's because of the pictures ?

If you're fine with that, go ahead

Which is the same kind of behaviour as the hiding away hating your body, just the other extreme. What people are saying is that on balance this isn't a wise move. Most balanced people wouldn't do it.

Good point.

Op, most people on here would also tell you not to hide yourself away on the beach. You don’t need external validation, just like you don’t need the external validation of posting on social media in your knickers.

The real self worth comes when you just go about your normal business not caring what people think. Both extremes of behaviour show that you don’t have real self worth yet.

It's funny isn't it, that men never seem to feel the need to take their clothes off to feel empowered... 🤔

It actually reminds me of when when who dress skantily are blamed as 'asking for it' as victims of sexual harrassment or rape.

This is appalling, OP.

The rest of your post sounds petulant and childish.

I'm very pro "you do you" if you wann a put them on that whatsitcalled site and charge people for them I'm all there with the support.

But on Facebook you're kinda forcing that on people who don't want to see it. If my auntie told me she'd had a photoshoot I'd be supportive and impressed eith her but if I was scrolling through Facebook in the queue at asda and my auntie in her knickers was thrust in my face I'd be a bit uncomfortable. If that makes sense.

Misogynists will be w*nking over the pictures.

Self confidence would be being able to post pictures of yourself looking really shit and not caring what people though about it.

No fucks to give. I wouldn't judge you 🙂

Do what you want OP, but why ask?
90% of the voters think yabu. That statistic will be reflected by those that see them. Most people will think you've lost the plot.

As asked before, if you open your insta and there is your uncle, or your colleague Bob from accounting posing seductively in their underpants, would you consider it empowering? Go that 'ooh, Bob, powerful?'

Comparing your situation to rape survivors is disgusting and clutching at straws for your own validation and to fit your own narrative. You do you. Hun.

This. Ugh.

So after that this, you're doing it anyway? I think you always were going to, and was just fishing for replies that are the equivalent of the likes and pervy comments you'll probably get on your pictures.

Do what you want; just don't come back on the Work thread moaning that you keep missing out on jobs for no apparent reason...

After ALL this*

Everyone saying it's 'for validation', 'for validation'... Is not posting in social media in any capacity, in any context, arguably FOR VALIDATION. Whether it's pics of your home, a nice walk you've been on, your family, your friends.

Post these pics then. At least blokes won’t be tempted to wank over them.

It is porn, whether you see it as tasteful or not. Not all porn is full on nakedness, quite a lot of lingerie fetishists out there but if you want to go about making a name for yourself as the kind of person that’d go about posting porn on social media go ahead - you’ll not get the attention you’re hoping for though. You’ll get a load of guys thinking you’re for sale.

I’m so disappointed that you’ve read the whole thread and taken nothing meaningful from it.

OP, your body’s ‘attractiveness’ is not the thing that gives you power, unless the power you seek is just sexual attention from men. If you centre your worth in your body it should be about what it can do, not ever about how it looks. Otherwise you are just handing your self-esteem to others to control.

You are concentrating on the wrong thing in the search for confidence and self esteem.

You need a better therapist.

This.

Plus it's tacky, and helps sustain the view that seeing women as sex objects is ok.