To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

More pro female doesn’t mean getting your validation from likes on social media whilst in your underwear. It means having belief in yourself regardless of what strangers (you’ll never meet) think! I’m sick of women thinking ‘empowerment’ means posing in your underwear and looking sexy for strangers 🙄

Someone I semi-follow has chronic fatigue syndrome and muscular atrophy etc. He's puny, weedy, pale and balding, the opposite of a "masculine" man. I have to say, his confidence in putting up "male model" photoshoots (while somewhat revolting I admit) has made me more accepting. It's also inspired many other men who don't fit the "6 pack male" stereotype too, to be more self-accepting – if only in the bedrooms with their female partners.

I think it's the same as women with normal saggy non-model bodies putting up pictures of themselves. I struggled with an eating disorder in my teens and 20s, when it was all about skinny bodies. In an age of body diversity though, seeing other non-perfect, slightly saggy and wobbly bodies – which aren't covered up from shame – has helped me accept my perfectly normal body.

It's empowered me to stop focusing on my body fitting a certain model standard, and to live my actual life comfortably and confidently.

I do get though that in deriving confidence from sexuality, it's inevitably also rooted in the gaze of the other gender. I do think it can genuinely be posing for yourself, uninhibited and comfortable, but realistically one's motivations probably aren't entirely divorced from their socialised / sexualised context.

I don't think its necessarily judging you for 'choices about your body' OP. I think even amongst the more aware/open minded, there may be judgement about the mental and emotional motivation of a woman to post the pictures.
Burlesque photos depict women in accordance with a male view of the ideal of femininity. Women don't also like themselves shown this way as a happy coincidence, they have been trained to see that as what beautiful means. As such, depicting yourself that way, while it understandably makes you feel good, is nothing to do with empowerment.
Not that everything has to be, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying your appearance. But the reality is, the statement you are making isn't 'look at how confident I am in my body' its actually 'look at how much better I feel about myself in lots of make up and flattering light gussied up in clothes men find titillating'.
If you're OK with that, then post and enjoy the likes.

I've seen people do this and it just looks cringy..You don't need people to see you in your underwear to get validation.

My thinking is, you have a friend that you fancy, who you’ve been friend-zoned by, and you want them to see you in a different light under the guise of ‘empowerment’.

Fabulous!

Do you have a partner OP? Because I would worry that doing this would make you more vulnerable to ‘romance fraud’ where a man romantically befriends a woman to con her out of money. Because one of the messages it sends out is ‘I really want people to see me as beautiful’.

It is great that the pictures make you feel good about yourself. Take that good feeling with you throughout the day, and remember that people value others for much more than looks.

I wouldn’t do it either, but if it’s about feeling empowered and you’re not actually fishing for compliments, then post them but don’t allow comments.

Go right ahead and post. Doubtless some arseholes will call you vain. I get called vain now and then. I'm very occasionally a bit 'showy', so maybe it's a fair shout 🤷

Meh! I'm out of fucks to give. I'm a proper nice woman.

Post your pics. Be proud of what you've done 😘😘

So where was the power?

I'm a wannabe competitive bodybuilder, so showing my body off in my glitzy bikini is just par for the course. It's what we do 🤷

Nowt more to say.

I posted mine. And the suitable ones from our couples shoot. I looked amazing. I felt amazing and I even heard from a friend that I had inspired her to book her own shoot.

I’ve just thought of another. One of my relatives has had loads of photoshoots. They all have a fuzzy lens, and are all hair bouffed up with loads of makeup. All poses are standing up hands on hip, lying down, hands cupped under face. Underneath people comment things like “oh, you are so beautiful”.

It’s embarrassing. I’ve just never felt the need to go massively out of my way to get someone to say “oh, you’re so beautiful”. It’s massively narcissistic. Do people not realise that people really do not go around life, thinking about them and their looks, their body shape or what they are up to? That your insecurities are founded because others are giving you that much headspace?

They’re not. They’ve got their own crap to deal with. It’s massively narcissistic.

www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/guides/article-6156735/Why-post-social-media-stop-getting-mortgage.html

Landlords, employers and the above check your social media

This.

Just think through everyone on your socials and check you wouldn’t mind anyone seeing them. Aunt Marge etc

You are looking for external validation in a hyper sexualised fashion. That is not empowering. It is the opposite. It is needy and will be interpreted as such. Which makes you vulnerable.

Gym wear or a bikini on holiday is where I would draw the line, if you are looking for encouragement on your fitness journey. l could be more appropriate but still, in this context, something feels off as i think you want to validate yourself sexually.

Feeling empowered and being empowered are 2 different things imo

I even heard from a friend that I had inspired her to book her own shoot

Changing the world for women, one ‘shoot’ at a time.

I would cringe for you and think it was a promo for an Only Fans 😂

Funnily enough I know someone who has done exactly this. Get the obligatory “you look great” etc comments but I just roll my eyes.

No I wouldn't post them keep them for yourself to look back on.
I find it very trashy and attention seeking to be posting half naked photos on social media.

am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.

Because in the case of vain and attention seeking, it is. I'm not having a go here I'm just stating a fact.

Posting the pictures to social media is you saying "look how good I look, everyone please see this and agree with me and tell me how good I look"

If you want to post them, go for it! But FGS just at least own your reasoning for posting them and the reaction you want.

Does it make a difference if you're not doing it to be "empowered"? How about if you just do it because you think it'll be fun?